Listerine...

My father was a Navy man, and if anyone knows anything about the military, you know that when you work days, it begins EARLY...

Listerine

My dad had a predictible routine, my room being closest to the bathroom, I come to know his routine quite well. 4am every morning, the door to their bedroom would creak open, and dad would creep quietly to the bathroom, in his undies. He closed the bathroom door, and I would listen to the sounds of his routine. First he would clear his sinuses, the sound on some mornings would reverberate through my bedroom like a snore from hell. I can't even explain this sound, but I know even though loud, it is one of my dad's sounds, and I love it.

After clearing his sinuses, the pipes would squeak as he opened them up for his morning shower. My father, smelled like roses no matter how sweaty he got, I AM NOT KIDDING!!! He is the only man I have ever met that didn't have any body odor. This man could not shower for days and still smell shower fresh. (though luckily he is very hygenic) I would hear the water plop on the stall floor as he would wash his body for that day's labor. When finished, the squeak of the pipes allowed me to know that he was preparing to step out of the shower to begin shaving. The sink pipes didn't squeak like the tub pipes did, but the sound was distinguishable. The rushing sound of the sink as it spewed out its contents was my indicator that he was shaving and soon would be brushing his teeth. I would hear the tapping of the razor on the sink as he would shave his face, then later the tapping of the toothbrush to tell me that he was finished brushing his teeth. Then he would swish and gargle to finish up his bathroom routine and would leave the bathroom.  However this morning was different... this morning his routine changed a bit.

That fateful morning my dad encountered something that we all have sort of feared. Back in the 90's Listerine had a rounded shape bottle, only came in brown flavor and was the most disgusting stuff ever. My dad picked up the rounded bottle and took a big swig of it. I can almost see his face and wish I could have seen it. I heard him spit it out immediately, the water pipes opened up with its swish and I heard him take in several mouthfulls of water. Over and over again, I heard my dad do this, along with exasperated gasps of horror and disbelief.

I hear him swish again, this time a sigh came from his mouth as he opened the bathroom and marched into the bedroom. I heard my dad, under strained reserve, barking at my mom to get up. He asked her, "Do you think, that perhaps you could remember to bring the Pinesol out of the bathroom! I just got a mouthful of Pinesol!" I could hear my mom stiffling back a giggle (base housing walls were THIN) and trying to stay composed. All I can hear was "Okay...(giggle)...honey."

Think back to the early 90's, (the last time I can remember Pinesol and Listerine having simular bottles) Pinesol and Listerine, both were packaged in round "hand weight" looking bottles, both only came in one color, brown. Luckily Listerine changed it's shape to the squared off bottle, I would hate to think my dad would make that mistake again. I still get quite the giggle out of this story. There is another great story about my dad to follow, perhaps another day. (Don't want to give all his secrets out in one sitting now...haha)