This took longer to write than the week of the Poetry Please challenge "Round" allowed. So here I'm posting it now, late. Any comments or suggestions are appreciated!
Plato's Fire
If Plato was indeed correct and we,
with rapt attention to our shadows' scrawls
upon cave walls, decipher falsely all
the flickering codes the flames behind us see—
Then what else might we, seeing nothing, miss?
The flames behind us churn and leap; could they
be hiding other secrets in array?
Our physicists with arching theories hiss
of unified grand theories that explain
the fulcrum of the cosmos' DNA.
The energetic cosmic forces play
but what of burdens on the human plane?
The intimate soft whispers to her ear.
The muttered sigh of all the things gone wrong.
The stroke of paint so perfect in its song
What are the flames and plasma hissing here?
Of science it is clear what fire requires.
The fields of feathered plasma radiate
from heat and fuel and oxygen to state.
The code is clear. It's promise we admire.
What if by chance a body of us turned
and looked into the conflagration's blaze—
What whispers true and clear would intense gaze
inform us of our natures born and learned?
What covert message do the flames portend
about the man whose feelings for his lover
eclipse the prideful flatters of his cover
and make all else that's in him seek their ends?
The gentle way the breeze incites a flower
to dance when blessed by early morning sun—
would such a revelation really come
and with it knowledge more and added power?
We stand in circle, nature's perfect form.
Geometry so simple, so complex.
It's not so easy turning round—and next:
to know not there's a fire at all is norm.
But upon turning, fire's hypnotic trance
absorbs us; we forget all else that's naught;
deciphering the codes is quick forgot.
The conflagration spits them out for chance.
When all is done and then is said again
perhaps the fire should not be subject of our gaze.
If life's deceptions, codes, are nothing but a maze
A life, a face, a voice should be our aim.
We stand in circles, nature's perfect spaces.
Nature's secrets still abound around us.
Forgive enlightened minds who put more trust,
not in the fire, but in each other's faces.
rate
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 31
still very enjoyable though :)
I am thrilled with this work.
It flows and enthralls at the same time
for I love the meter and the rhyme
as well as the theme.
It reads like a dream
and educates the mind.
Would you please post it to The Poet's Weekly Muse? I would like to feature it.
Patricia: You are always so gracious!
Julie: I'm thinking there may be too many words, but we'll see in a few months.
Flit: Sorry I'm late!
Janet Louise: Done. Thanks!
Mike: As admirer of your poetry, that means a lot to me. Thanks!
Nancy: Thanks so much. You are always full of joy and compliments.
The most fascinating line that got me glued and suggested a thousand branches spinning off from that line was : " The fields of feathered plasma radiate"
I have been a plasma technologist for 37 years and this holds all my interest somehow.
Am adding you as a friend, you sound very interesting. Please see my website at www.maxbabi.com, and we shall chat some day.
Warmest
Max
India
I dove back in, after a REread to select my fav lines...(typical reaction to a poem that hits at the solar plexus) and find that it is all of a piece. I find that the whole, complete in it's parts precludes me from selecting just a 4 or 6 line 'pull out' that speaks to me more strongly than the others. This is unusual, and is typically the sign that the work is tighter holistically. Thus, you have created that synergy in a piece that radiates "perfect balance." Even the title is meaningful to the whole.
I have often wondered why people will sit at a campfire, and stare into the embers...when the real show is in the galaxy above (for the eternal-spiritual) or the faces that surround (for the connected-spirits) that same fire.
"When all is done and then is said again / perhaps the fire should not be subject of our gaze. / If life's deceptions, codes, are nothing but a maze / A life, a face, a voice should be our aim."
Amen.
So, I'm still re-re-re-reading this work of yours.
Again. Wow.
Wilka
If you have time today, please say hello to a new Gather person - my friend Michelle. I'll be sending out an email tonight - mmorrissey.gather.com
"Forgive enlightened minds who put more trust
not in the fire but in each other's faces."
I thought you were making the opposite point all the way through. I will go back and reread.
______________________________________________________________
Ok ... I did and this jumped out "If life's deceptions, codes, are nothing but a maze
A life, a face, a voice should be our aim." So maybe I was right. Maybe this is the true goal and not the last two lines.
Nothing like spreading my noncomprehension out for all the world to see :) Nevertheless, you write beautiful poetry with truths that need to be mined. I really enjoyed it and will read more. Thank you.
' A life, a face, a voice should be our aim.'...
Magnificent word culture that makes the reading a pleasant experience.
This is just incredible the truth it bestows.
Jean: That is so true! I hadn't thought of that.
Are you a scientist of some kind? I guess I will go read your profile.
"A body without a shadow is like life without a loving connection."