Childhood obesity has grown to an alarming rate. We are a fast food society and many hard working parents are so tired at the end of a day, it is very tempting to buy burgers and fries for dinner, especially when they know the kids prefer it anyway. No wonder kid's meals have names such as "happy" Not only do kids love them, they make parents happy by lightening the load.
Should a parent who overfeeds his child be considered abusive? Is not constantly plying one's child with sugar, fat, and salt very much the same as giving him drugs? After all, both are unhealthy. Parents are responsible for their child's well-being, and that well-being includes his physical and emotional health.
Not only are children's eating habits unhealthy, kids are spending more and more time in front of computer moniters and video games, missing out on precious physical exercise.
Many overweight children have obese parents. This is because there is a pattern of unhealthy eating habits in the family as well as a lack of exercise. Not only are they eating the wrong foods, they are eating them in excess and eating them for the wrong reasons.
Children do what they are taught to do by example. If a child sees his mother comforting herself with a half gallon of ice cream, that child will learn to do the same.
Are parents who allow their child to eat this way being abusive? Do parents even realize the damage they are doing to their child by overfeeding him? And if obese parents do not know how to help themselves, how will they know how to help their child?
People overeat when they use food for comfort rather than as fuel for their bodies. They also overeat because they develop addictions to sugar, salt, carbohydrates, and fat. Many parents believe they are "loving" their child by comforting him with food. They do not know any other ways to nurture of comfort...either their children or themselves. Little do they know they are "loving" their child to death.
Labeling these parents as "abusive" is not what is needed in this situation. Education, medical attention, and therapy is what is needed. These things will give parents the information and tools they need to make the necessary changes in the eating habits of the entire family. It will involve a total lifestyle change for everyone.
Lifestyle changes must be accomplished a little at a time...with baby steps. With each new step learned, a family will be on their way to a more healthful way of living...ensuring their child will learn good eating habits that will last a lifetime.
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Comments: 20
I would hope I'm not considered abusive. J is overweight (not severely so). Our approach this summer is going to be WORK. Family fun times and MORE work. It will teach him to enjoy a job accomplished, give him greater self-esteem, and keep him away from the video games, television, and computer.
In the end, we all have to work together on this as a family. It will also model a better example for J for his own future.
Not long ago my grandson got a baseball video game for his birthday. He loved playing little league last year, but was thrilled to get the game because "Now I can play baseball without having to be outside!"
I think it's a huge problem, and it's not all the parents' fault, either. Our neighborhoods aren't safe for kids to play without supervision, and the parents work so much that they can't possibly be outside with the kids all the time... Video games and television make great babysitters. Unfortunately, they are a good way to set a very bad trend, as well.
In parent-child relationships of this nature the yelling-ignoring is only the tip of the iceberg. This is what happens when the child is merely misbehaving. When the parent really needs the child to do as they say, and they have established no authority over their child, then they must bribe them in order to get compliance. This is when fattening treats are offered. Conversely, the child will also use willful misbehaviour to annoy the parent to the point of obtaining the bribe they know will be the outcome.
Parents must learn how to say "no" and mean "no" and make "no" stick. They must never threaten punishment they are not ready to deliver (and punishment should never be harmful, never be cruel). They cannot afford to habitually lose the battle of wills with the child.
The problem with giving in to misbehaviour because you don't have the stamina to go through the battle is that you are ensuring there will be more battles and tougher ones ahead by teaching the child they can win if they are persistent enough.
Blaming parents for all the problems of their children is not really an answer to these types of problems.
Education, therapy and training needs, in my opinion, to be done to the parents and the child so they together will know how to raise their kids.
Most parents have no clue how to raise their kids, however, there are no laws that say or show one how parents should raise their kids, and in the grand scheme of things Albert Einstein would have been diagnosed as an autistic child, therefore, raised differently in today's society. Therefore, genius lost probably.
Therefore, raising kids more of an art than science, in my opinion, and one gets the child one gets.
Good article, and I feel good thoughts about the subject also.
I grew up in home where both parents "loved me" with food. If I was sad, they would buy me candy. If I was sick, they would buy me candy. We had soda with meals. I never drank milk or ate fruit. (The only time I saw fruit was in the bottom of my Christmas stocking, along with a few nuts...lol) If I did not eat seconds at dinner, it would hurt my mother's feelings because she thought I didn't like her food. So it became a habit to eat seconds even when I didn't want them...simply because I didn't want to hurt my mother's feelings. As a result of all of this, I grew to be an emotional eater, and any emotional upset triggers that response that tells me to comfort myself with food. This is a struggle that I am slowly overcoming.
Were my parents abusive by doing this? No. They truly had no idea that they were doing more harm than good. They were doing the best that they knew how to do. And I suppose that's what we all do, when it comes right down to it....:)
My middle son has gotten a little belly on him. He is only nine and the first time I have ever seen.
Me on the hand have lost 14 pounds this year......
I always have fresh fruits and veggies in my house. I am alway stelling my hubsnad to buy these. But he also buys the junk snacks that I won't for the meer fact my kids have not learned to not eat in access. If they like something. They think they have to eat the whole box. Thanks to their oldest brother who will do that so they can't have any.
Like I said I just stopped buying the bad stuff. Thsi helps to loose th eweight...but sucks for me and my bad leg being on my leg doing all that healthy cooking.
A good read for anyone with children and even for those who don't (like me.)
Unless there's some actual kind of abuse going on, it would be better if society weren't so quick to hang the scarlet letter (A for abusive) around the necks of parents.