The Computer Geek's Guide to Self-Improvement: Me 2.0

In the world of software development we log issues into a bug tracking system, sometimes called a bugbase (short for "bug database"). You hold a meeting called a bug scrub with members of the quality assurance and engineering teams. The bugs are categorized and some are targeted for eradication (fixing). This cycle is continuous. It starts as soon as the first bug or enhancement request is reported and repeats until the software in question is retired (discontinued). The process of conceiving a software product, developing it, and supporting it is called the Software Development Lifecycle.

As I seem to do more and more often these days, I was pondering life today. I realized that the process of developing as a person is something like the software development lifecycle. I would like to think most people are interested in fixing their bugs. In humans "bugs" are the little flaws in a person's personality. Bugs are sometimes reported by other people in our lives. Sometimes these bugs/flaws are reported to us in friendly, constructive ways. Other times the bugs the are brought to our attention in much more dramatic ways. In the software business if you don't fix a bug that is critical to a given user of the software, you may lose that user as a customer. Likewise, if a bug is reported to you and fixing that flaw is critical to the person who reported it, then you may lose that person.

We all have bugs, just like software always has bugs. During bug scrubs in the software business, bugs are prioritized by importance and severity. High severity bugs of high importance get more attention then a high severity bug of low importance. I have found over the years that I see analogies everywhere. I learn by making analogies, and I teach others by sharing the analogies.

I have found myself using aspects of the software development lifecycle to draw analogies to all kinds of things. I've used object oriented programming tools to describe relationships between people and functional areas within a company. I've used process flow charts to analyze the efficiency of some process and determine possible optimizations.

So all this preamble is to explain how I came to a realization while pondering my life. I have always tried to improve myself. I started thinking about these improvements as "enhancements'" and "bug fixes" that I need to systematically scrub and prioritize. While most the bugs in my personal bugbase are self-reported, I have had a few "opportunities for improvement" thrust in my face with fairly serious consequences for not fixing them.

Let me give a concrete example. I was a happily married man. I truly believe my marriage would have lasted forever due to our mutual commitment to making it work. We certainly provided each other with bug reports and enhancement requests. I never had the chance to study the longevity of my marriage because after 15 years my wife passed away.

In business we use the term "inflection point" to describe a crossroad in our life. Losing you spouse is certainly an inflection point. I had a lot of great pride about the way I treated my wife and the way we took care of each other through the years. But I did see room for improvement. I feel like I was a little rigid in my ways, and at times I could be controlling or manipulative. I didn't do this on purpose, it was just some kind of reaction to the stress of managing a terminal illness in the family.  While reflecting on my life, I decided I wanted to repeat the things that worked well in my marriage and fix a few bugs.

So as I iterate through my new relationship lifecycle with my fiancee, I have very vigorously worked on the flaws I had identified in my intimate relationships. I realized that allowing others to take control and make decisions benefited everyone. Diversity is the spice of life and allowing yourself to listen or follow instead of pontificating and leading all the time brings new experiences to your life.

This probably all makes perfect sense, but the challenge for most of us is how do we fix these flaws once we identify them. Again I draw on my software development and business experience. To fix a defect in software, a logical first step is to attempt to reproduce the problem. In regards to fixing a human flaw, you need to catch yourself exhibiting the "bug". You then begin the process of debugging. In software development sometimes there are tools to help you debug, other times you must somehow triumph over the flaw without any kind of tools or assistance. You must call all your intellect to the service. You must then match the intellect with empathy for the person impacted by the bug.

Back to being a bit controlling, I found it manifested itself in the form of jealousy over a situation that was not going to stop just because it triggered negative feelings in me. I can't explain all the tactics I employed, but the most effective tool was to focus on how my flaw was making life for someone I loved difficult. All I wanted was to make this person happy, yet I could see once I shined light on the issue that my little quirk was causing them pain. It took me weeks, possibly months to totally eradicate the bug. Just like in the software lifecycle where we have a process called regression testing to ensure old flaws don't resurface, I am constantly on the lookout for this behavior to begin to materialize again.

OK, I'm a big time geek for sitting here comparing my self actualization process with the software development lifecycle while I perform regression testing to ensure the defect remains closed in my personal bugbase. Sure, I am a geek. But I had one very happy wife and my "product plan" is to have another very happy marriage. I remember once seeing an article in one of my late wife's woman's magazines about how computer geeks/software developers made great husbands. Perhaps I've stumbled on why that is. Perhaps the processes we employ to master the ever-increasing complexity of the pulses of ones and zeros as they bounce around the universe pertains to other complex issues we face.

Take my advice. Open a bug database on yourself. Listen to the feedback you get from people in your life. Use logic and empathy to attempt to resolve the problems. Make sure you add a test to monitor the state of this fixed flaw so you don't regress to your earlier "defective" behavior. Come on folks, get your pocket protectors and tape up your glasses and come ponder yourself as a new version of a software product. I call the new me: ME 2.0. Oh no, this triggers yet another analogy about how you never want to trust a dot zero release of a new product...