Is There Really Any Magic In Making Up?

There is little doubt human beings seem to have a fascination with what they can't have. Relationships can stagnate for what seems to be an eternity and until someone decides it's time to move on, the person being spurned suddenly gets a new lease on life and doesn't want to leave.

Why is that? Why wasn't the effort being made leading up to the "big dump?" Or what about when one partner has a moment of carelessness and strays for a brief moment and cheats. In many situations, when they're found out the reaction is one of "it didn't mean anything - I was bored with our relationship."

The problem with many spurned people; those ejected out of the relationship is they usually react in  the wrong way. The natural inclination is to do everything they can to win back their ex. But in reality, this is really only driving them further away and the end result can be one of two ways - they ultimately accept the decision or things can get ugly.

In his book The Magic Of Making Up, TW Jackson says anyone who is on a mission to win their ex back needs to take stock of the situation and not react on impulse. That is, don't try and explain why you're worth taking back...don't call... don't talk to their friends and family about it and don't show up unnannounced  anywhere their ex likes to hang out.

So what is one supposed to do? Nothing...well, almost nothing.  Jackson says simply agree with the decision . Say something like "Yes, you're right.  In fact, I was getting close to suggesting we separate anyway." See where this is going?

Instead of letting your ego get in the way by reacting in such a way which labels you a serial pest or a stalker, you're instead doing the complete opposite of what is expected. Two things can happen here. You win a little respect but more importantly, you've swung things back your way in a sense because suddenly, he/she realizes you're not acting distraught and in fact, your reaction could even indicate that they could in fact, lose you.

And so we enter that little area of the human psyche which relates to "wanting something you can't have." Jackson warns this method can be a little controversial because it could anger the person doing the ejecting. How? Well, if you respond with a comment such as "you're absolutely right, we should separate" then be prepared for fireworks.

The Magic Of Making Up  is a controversial book on winning back your ex but if the testimonials are any guide, it's very effective. TW Jackson wanted to present emotionally strung out people who just wanted to be back with their former partners a series of techniques which  would give them every chance of achieving their goals.

The only drawback is, when people hear those initial words..."I'm leaving you" or "I want out of this relationship" composing oneself at that initial moment and acting sensibly can be one of the hardest things to accomplish. The good news is, the techniques presented by Jackson apply to almost any stage of a break up. They can be dynamite.