REAL WARNINGS FOUND ON:
Wheelbarrow.... do not use when temperature exceeds 140 Farenheit.
Craftsman Push Mower.... Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running.
Bag of Pine Bark Mulch... this bag contains forest products.
Swedish chainsaw..... do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals
Japanese food processor.... not to be used for anything else
Vacuum Cleaner.... do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning
Tesco Fruit juice carton.... on bottom side: "keep upright"
Sainsburys Mineral Water.... suitable for vegetarians
Slush Puppy Cup..... (on side of cup) "this ice may be cold"
Child-sized superman costume..... wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly
Various computers.... keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue
Camera.... this camera will only work when film is inside