Awww, Such a Nice Man

Awww, Such a Nice Man

by Marilyn Mackenzie

Today, I received such a nice email.  It was from an employee of FedEx in a country I never knew existed.  No matter. I'm sure he's legitimate.  After all, his message said that he has become a Christian recently and felt really badly that he had participated with one of those horrible dudes who tries to scam nice people out of their money. 

You know the kind of people he's talking about, right?  The ones who claim that they have an inheritance for you, or maybe it's the kind who tell you that they're a lawyer for someone whose spouse died 8 years ago, leaving her (usually a her) with millions of dollars that she needs to get out of her country.  They always select me as a person to help them.  I wonder if it's my innocent look?

These people - who, of course are scam artists - just want me to provide my full name, address, bank account number and any and all other numbers that might help them scam me, empty my bank accounts and steal my identity.

So anyway, this new nice guy - the one who has suddenly found Jesus - says he's sorry that he helped this other scam artist and warned me not to send him any more money (as if I already did?).  And for the small sum of $85 he's willing to send me the package that is sitting in that country I never heard of waiting for me to send thousands (I guess) to the dishonest person.  See?  If I send only $85 to the newly honest one, I can get the package without having to pay thousands or wait months to see my accounts drained and never get anything.

Isn't that nice of this man?  I mean really.

I wonder why his English is so bad and why he had to type in all capital letters.  And why he called me Mister Marilyn.