NOTE: I posted this last year but wanted to highlight it, so here it is again. For those of you who may not be familiar with my writing, my sense of humor oftentimes employs the use of sarcasm and a Monty Python-esque view of the world. Even if they aren't your cup of tea, give it a try ... I think you'll still get a chuckle or two out of it all. :)
Before we get started, I have to confess that my son and I watched 'Cautionary Tales of Swords' on FunnyOrDie.com (http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f32a417234) and it was the first thing that came into our minds when we began the onslaught of insensitive ripping on my daughter's Easy Bake Oven. So, I wanted to make sure to reference it at the beginning so you'd understand from whence the inspiration came. Both to protect myself from uncomfortable copyright infringement and to promote the bit found at the link above because, while somewhat infantile and stupid in nature, it's still pretty darn funny. DISCLAIMER: Clicking on the link above will lead to content which is considered 'adult' due to indecent language.
DISCLAIMER #2: No children were injured to create material for this piece - and I would NEVER let my daughter use this "toy" unsupervised.
After being asked repeatedly why we didn't want any of the treats she'd made, we explained to my daughter why we didn't like the "food" that came from the Easy Bake oven. You know ... the Brownies are ground-up brownies that you add water to and then "bake" it over a very hot LIGHT BULB. Here's the good part ... she didn't believe me. I mean, the reason she couldn't use the blasted thing just after she received it for Christmas two years ago was because I had to hunt down a particular size of light bulb to operate the darned thing. But, still, I'm the idiot here. I invited her to look into the Easy Bake Oven to verify this, adding ... "You may burn your retinas, but if it's worth it to prove me wrong, you go right ahead." Caution #1: Do Not Look Into An Operating Easy Bake Oven.
OK, so consider this: an Easy Bake Oven is essentially a VERY HOT OVEN with little metal doors hanging from each entrance, supposedly to discourage children from introducing fingers and other random objects into the oven. Hmmm. Curiousity burns the children's fingers. Yes, imagine one attempting to look into the oven, pushing the little metal door just far enough to view inside and, in the process, getting her finger in just far enough to form a sort of Chinese Finger Trap at the very same moment the heat begins to burn the finger and the first reaction is to pull it out. Not good. Caution #2: Do Not, Under Any Circumstances, "Food" Burning Or Not, Attempt to Stick Fingers in the Easy Bake Oven. Optional funny: Imagine same child then attempting to shake the oven off said finger ... again, not good.
Next we have the mini METAL baking pans used in the process. I mean, as I think about this ... even with adult supervision, what am I doing allowing my child to play with this "toy"? There's just so much danger ... but then again, that's just her thing. Life is nothing without danger! Give me Easy Bake or give me DEATH!
Lastly, the greatest invention of all ... a shining, pink, plastic example of sheer baking genius ... the "stick" (or insert proper name for the supposed "tool" here) that one uses to insert aforementioned "food" into the Easy Bake oven. Aside from the fact that we now consider the Easy Bake Oven to be an invention of the Devil ... this stick has got to be Belzebub's second-favorite weapon (next to his pitchfork). Apparently, this "stick" is invincible in the face of GREAT HEAT within the bowels of the oven. How exactly are we to believe that such a plastic contraption could truly be SAFE in baking or in using in conjunction with a VERY HOT OVEN and mini METAL baking pans and warm, if not HOT metal doors? Cautionary Tale #3: Be Careful to Not Expose Plastic (Which Has Been Subjected to Intense Heat) to Human Flesh Immediately After Having Been Heated. It is especially important to note that it should also not be used as a weapon against a sibling or pets, thank you!
So, as of tonight, we've gotten all the mixes baked and she's somewhere upstairs using her sugar high to enjoy High School Musical 2 Singalong ... and while she does so, we are hastily packing up, removing, and hiding the Devil's Easy Bake Oven Torture Device in the basement ... for the safety of all who reside here.
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Comments: 29
Great Article!
I hate the easy bake oven and always have. It is the most idiotic stupid toy that is the biggest waste of money and a big potential for injury or fire. Not only do you have to supervise the child using it, you have to hide the d**m thing so they don't get at it when you are in the bathroom. People who didn't have children have given my children this toy and boy what a gift they give the parent. Out of sight out of mind works after you run out of the mixes...
My children were not allowed to start to make anything using the stove until they were 10. Even then it was supervised. When I was in high school a neighborhood girl was 8 and was making hot chocolate one morning...when the sleeve of her robe caught fire from the burner...
Every thinks the light bulb in the easy bake over is not big deal, but it is an electrical device that can catch fire and start fires, besides burning little fingers.
When I was young and my mother made bread, I had my own little tiny loaf pan. I got to shape my loaf and she baked it with her loafs. Safe, fun and what a wonderful joy when my tiny loaf was all brown and real bread. I didn't know I really didn't "make" the bread...and I was probably prouder of that loaf than any child that mixes water and the mix. I got to mold and shape and put it in the pan and do something with my mother.
Thank you for posting to Make me Laugh
1 it was not black with a glass door like mine.
2 hello mom this stuff taste gross!
Too funny.
for my daughter as a Christmas present. I didn't allow
her to use it I always did the baking but used regular
cake mix and had tins small enough to fit that oven. All
the cakes came out very good too.
and had to be replaced that Easy Bake Oven was really so
handy I made Corn Meal Cakes in it to go with our meal we
had and they were so delicious too. I made lots of stuff in
that Easy Bake Oven till my element got replaced.