Victims of sexual assault don't wear banners identifying them as such. They might be your neighbor, your son or daughter, the young child up the street. They don't want to be known as victims yet the devastation wrecked by such assault lasts a lifetime, triggering depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, alcohol and drug abuse, and yes . . . suicide. Awareness is the key to tearing the curtain of shame and blame that surrounds victims of these crimes. For this reason April has been declared National Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
According to statistics gathered by the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization: 1 out of every 6 American women, and 1 out of every 33 American men have are victims of a reported attempted or completed rape. Fifteen percent of these sexual assault and rape victims are children under the age of 12. The greatest percentage of victims are women between the ages of 16-19. While these numbers are staggering, statistical evidence shows that 58.4 % of such assaults never get reported.
When my beautiful daughter was raped 12 years ago, I had no idea where to turn. How I wish I'd had access the the kind of information provided by Dawn Selena MK in an article on Gather that details her experiences in assisting a friend who'd been raped. In my frantic haste to help my girl, I did all the wrong things. Instead of comforting her first and helping her move toward such decisions, I leaped into action insisting we report it to the police and that she go to a hospital for examination. In doing so I missed the opportunity to give her what she needed most at that time -- the comfort of a mother's arms and listening ear. RAINN has an excellent link on this issue called "Recovering from Sexual Assault"
The fact is that sexual assault and child abuse occur not only in large cities like Minneapolis where my daughter was attacked, but even in small communities like the one in which I now live, where most of us know one another. That is why we have our own Violence Prevention Center here in Cook County and why, during the month of April the Center is hosting a special series of events to throw the spotlight on sexual assault and child abuse:
· A Vigil of Remembrance to be held in the Grand Marais Harbor Park on April 22
· The showing of "Searching for Angela Shelton" -- a powerful documentary illuminating the pervasiveness of sexual assault in this nation on April 29
· Brown Bag lunches held every Thursday during April to view and discuss other films and documentaries on this important issue
The Center is also offering, through various local businesses, enameled teal-colored ribbon pins, the color chosen by a survey of national and tribal units to represent Sexual Assault Awareness month. Those who wear these pins become part of the effort to bring attention to this effort. People are also wearing teal: teal-colored scarves, tee-shirts, socks, slacks. I don't have any teal colored clothes and the area where I live has little access to clothing selections, but while doing a reading for my memoir, The Scent of God, in Milwaukee this weekend, I was asked several times about the pin I was wearing. Small as this pin is, it gave me the opportunity to draw attention to this month of awareness.
Checking these links and connecting with your local Sexual Assault organizations will help you bring awareness to an issue that has affected too many of us in one way or another. By breaking the silence we can stop the rampant sexual assualt epidemic that plagues this nation and breaks so many hearts in the process.
Adapted from an article published in the Cook County News Herald April 4, 2008. The Minneapolis Star Tribune named Beryl as a "Best of 2006 Minnesota Authors." Her book The Scent of God was a "Notable" Book Sense selection for April 2006.
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Comments: 18
Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
Your article is Featured in the Triple Name Club. I will read the links.
The fact of the matter is that almost all of the perpetrators of these assaults ARE men, which for me is a savage indictment of our gender more than a century after the suffragette movement and a half century since the feminist movement began to gain momentum. There are some social critics that would argue that men can´t change, they are hardwired to seek multiple partners, often by force, because of their testosterone, genetic inheritance, sociobiology (of course, for me this is just a perversion of the neo-Darwinist argument.) Society can and must change for the better, as it has in many western democracies with the liberal tradition of the Enlightenment fully absorbed by its members (I am thinking of places like the Scandinavian countries, the Low countries, etc. of Europe, where these sexual assault figures are decidedly lower, reported or otherwise.) There will always be predators, but we can find ways as a society to educate, inform, pass laws and make it intolerable for sexual assaults to be accepted on any level of society.
Thank you for your eloquent voice, Beryl. My heart hurt when I first heard the story of your personal tragedy; it hurts every time it is recalled to me. I pray for your own deep spiritual consolation as well as your strength as a humanist to continue this struggle against sexual offenders, so that the cycle of violence and abuse can one day be diminished to the point of near extinction.
My heart and soul go out to victims of rape. I am well aware of the lifelong effects of such an act of violence. Thank you so much.
I am sure you were there, too, afterwards, to listen and support as she worked through the incident. The trauma is not immediately over, and just like mourning, it takes more than one conversation to work through and integrate it into wholeness.
Thank you for making people aware.
Good for you to bring this issue forward. I would never have the courage.
And as far as statistics, I have a relative who works with social services and she says the numbers of incest victims are unbelievable. Outrageous!
It was difficult witnessing the struggle my first wife went through to overcome the horrorific aftermath of her assault. But I was wrong in that my worst fears would manifest. She did overcome the debilitating trauma through counseling, support, assault self-defense and self-awareness classes and time.
Awareness is important in being a positive influence for yourself, or a loved one and also in learning how to avoid situations that may make yourself vulnerable.
Thank you for bringing this topic to mind.
However, back then there was no awareness. Now, more and more people are speaking out and we're more aware that this is going on all around us - even in our own families.
Thank you for this article, Beryl. I know it was not easy to write about that happening to your beautiful and beloved daughter but you have helped so many people and will continue to by speaking about your personal experiences. I urge everyone who has suffered through an assault to report it. Take back your power - be strong and make others aware. This whole thread is filled with truths and lessons.
Beryl, have a blessed day. Salud.
Hugs and blessings - S.