Discussion: Inadequacies

I always feel that way too. Since I don't work, many judge me based on that, but my self worth is not defined by a job.

I know I don't always keep up with the household chores, especially if I am not feeling well. All I can do is try, I guess.

I think we all feel like that, sometimes. I try not to think about the things I can't do and do my best to do the things I can. M.S. can't keep this woman down!

I'm aware of my strengths and my weaknesses. Some things I can do well, others I cannot. Some things I enjoy doing, others I shy away from. I ask myself 2 questions: How important is this?, and, is there anyone else who can do it better than I can? The answers to these questions determine my response. I am not afraid to say 'no'. If 'no' is the best answer I'll say so. I do not allow people to force me to do things I don't want to do; nor do I allow people to make me feel guilty for not doing what they want me to do. I'm not afraid to say, "sorry, that's not something I do".

I feel this way too,I do not work outside the home but yet I have 4 jobs.
Taking care of the kids which I love.Cleaning,cooking,and on the computer.
Never enough time in the day for much more than that.You are not alone.

Billie, I also am a SAHM and I have a lot of work around here - work that my husband considers NOT work - he is always saying something dumb like "You don't work" - I told him he should change that to "I don't work outside of the home" as I DOOO work. Yesterday alone I vacuumed the kitchen and livingroom, did 3 loads of laundry, washed the counter tops, the front of the cabinets in the kitchen, made breakfast for our son, breakfast and lunch and dinner for myself, dinner for the 2 of them, cleaned all those meals up, and I did a bunch of other things.

Sometimes I feel inadequate but I am so busy I have no time to actually think about it. I feel that way in front of mothers who work most of the week and don't see their children as much as they should. I am lucky that we can afford for me to not work and I am home for my son.

DB 10! :-)

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Right now I feel real inadequate at everything. Being in hospital and this slow recovery its got the best of me.

Hang in there. It seems like your body is telling you something. I wish I lived close. I would work with you on a life dream book. Let me see if I can explain it here.

Start writing down things that you would like to do. Don't worry about money etc. Just write down everything that makes you smile. Include big things and little things. One thing on my first list was to plant strawberries and I got 3 plants for my birthday. Now I have a wonderful strawberry garden!

Okay after you've got a good list going (I suggest over 100 things) start a visual journal. Go through magazines and tear out pages that have words you like, that enpower you. Tear out pictures, whatever speaks to your heart. Then find a drawing pad and start to collage your dreams! This is so much fun.

I create a new collage journal each year. It's amazing the dreams that come true. This year I wrote down be a grandparent. At first I felt bad thinking I shouldn't impose my dreams on my daughters but I couldn't resist because I want to be a grandmother. Well the good news is come September that dream will come true!

Let me know if you try this.

I started this when I spent most of my time in a blue recliner hooked up to machines. I wanted to give up on living. Now my world is giant and I'm so happy.

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Sarah- You ask: What are your inadequacies? How do you combat them? Is there a place or a reason that you feel you must do things that you either aren't equipped to do or just aren't comfortable doing?

My take, off the cuff, winging it: I always wish I had more patience and quick wit, too. Like many women, I suffer from the whole sense of feeling my body isn't "perfect" or even "good enough". I've gotten past that, mostly, but I still don't relish looking at myself in a mirror naked.

I often feel that I have to do thinks that I don't want to do. However, unlike your situation, it isn't my marriage that makes me feel that way. Most of my issues have to do with trying to get the school system to work with us and help our children learn the best they can. Not just my kid, but everyone's kids. I get frustrated about that, feel more could be done.

I also feel guilty about not keeping a perfectly clean home. But I keep thinking that if I had to choose (and I do) between a clean home and writing and creativity and being with my family, I'll just have a messier home. So I do.