Bed-Wetting

I was over five before a I stopped wetting my bed and my pants.

Some kids just have a weak bladder and wet the bed. My son wet the bed until he was older. Just about all of my step kids wet the bed just as their mother had when she was a kid. But I never let any of them in the bed with my husband and me. They had their own beds.

Based on biblical things???

I never had a problem myself. My son? Nope. He stopped wearing a diaper at 2 years of age and started getting up by himself in the middle of the night. (I was really lucky with him!0

I had a cousin, though, who wet his bed almost every night until he was 13. Poor thing. Then he got a new doctor who made him cut way back on salt/sodium. He never wet the bed after that.

I had this problem when younger, but wasn't diagnosed with Autism until later though, and I had sibling difficulties with my brother. He use to hit me and lash out at me and in that environment. I was scared and wet the bed. To fix the problem, my parents just reminded me to go to the bathroom before bedtime.

I know my oldest niece and youngest niece went through the phase when younger and during those times, we've put blankets underneath them and don't give them anything to drink before bed or if we do, we have them wear diapers and during the day use the bathroom/potty. Urging children to potty before bed can prevent bed wetting also. And, don't show the children scary movies... it may make them have nightmares and also wet the bed.

I also think children that wet the bed past age 4 have home problems and its also the parents fault. It CAN be prevented.

I know what I'd do... if I had a child that wet that bed PAST age 4, I would take them to the dr, if the dr said nothing was wrong- I would set consequences and if that didn't work, I'd go to the last resort- spanking. I think wetting the bed is complete laziness and parents not doing their jobs. Under 4 is understandible, but an 18 year old or 19 year old doing it? Go figure. Its the parents fault! I know a 19 year old that peed on my BRAND NEW bed and she wears diapers. Excuse me, but she could have said, "I'm about to pee" so i could have gotten a blanket. Plain rudeness if you ask me.

And--they have never said she has a medical problem, so you can't say she didn't do it on purpose. Its just common sense. Plain laziness.

Wow, that's a bold (and sorry, but somewhat ignorant) statement, Michelle. There ARE medical reasons that SOME children wet the bed later into childhood. Not all of them have problems at home.

UTIs, Yeast infections, Diabetes, problems with the urine stream, and a bunch of other things. It's really, really offensive to say that a 5 or 6 year old who wets the bed is automatically dealing with 'issues'.

There are a lot of medical reasons why children wet the bed. Some of it is even hereditary.

Michelle - I'm sorry, but I don't agree with you at all and it makes me a little angry to read it. The only thing that would happen if you discipline a child the way you mentioned above would be years of therapy because of the your abuse (yes, I think that's child abuse - and emotional abuse)

Michelle C., you say that you wet the bed because of your brother's abuse and your fear of him. And I also saw on one of your articles that you were abused by your father. This can be a reason for your bed-wetting. My nephew wet the bed till he was older and he had been molested as a child. As the other Michelle says, I think there are a number of reasons that a child wets the bed. Even if there is not a physical reason, there are often emotional reasons. Perhaps, rather than spanking the child, it is better to seek out a professional counselor who works with children. I hope that you received some counseling to help you heal from your abuse. This is important for you and also for your children. I see where you have a three-month old baby and are pregnant with another. Please consider seeking help, if you are not seeing someone now.

Wow, that's a bold (and sorry, but somewhat ignorant) statement, Michelle. There ARE medical reasons that SOME children wet the bed later into childhood. Not all of them have problems at home.

I never stated there were NOT medical reasons that can make a child wet the bed- That's a different case than laziness on a parent's part. Medical conditions are different than ignorance of parents these days.

UTIs, Yeast infections, Diabetes, problems with the urine stream, and a bunch of other things. It's really, really offensive to say that a 5 or 6 year old who wets the bed is automatically dealing with 'issues'.

That's also considered a medical condition and if it hasn't been ruled out, then its plain laziness on the child to grow up and wet the bed at 18 or 19 years of age.

Michelle C., you say that you wet the bed because of your brother's abuse and your fear of him. And I also saw on one of your articles that you were abused by your father. This can be a reason for your bed-wetting. My nephew wet the bed till he was older and he had been molested as a child. As the other Michelle says, I think there are a number of reasons that a child wets the bed. Even if there is not a physical reason, there are often emotional reasons. Perhaps, rather than spanking the child, it is better to seek out a professional counselor who works with children. I hope that you received some counseling to help you heal from your abuse. This is important for you and also for your children. I see where you have a three-month old baby and are pregnant with another. Please consider seeking help, if you are not seeing someone now.

- First off, I wasn't sexually abused by my father, nor my brother and that is not relevant to the situation of what I stated above.

Second off, there is a problem with children today - they're disrespectful and rude and I won't tolerate that in my own children. Consequences and boundaries will be set clear.

There's also a difference between spanking (with the hand) and physical abuse (belts and other objects). Spanking doesn't leave marks, bruises or any of that, as long as a parent, you know boundaries and not to cross the line (and if angry, walk away).

I'm sorry you feel as if I need counseling ... You can think what you want, it won't change the fact or my opinions about matters. You can accuse me of this or that. Go right ahead. It won't hurt me.

And, no I don't consider it bold... I consider myself blunt and I speak my opinion and tell people like it is and I'm sorry if you do not like my opinion. You have one also and you've stated yours, now here's mine.

Have a good day. :)

Michelle

There are a lot of medical reasons why children wet the bed. Some of it is even hereditary.

- That's a difference and that's a reasonable expectation in children and a medical professional should be able to rule that out.

Michelle - I'm sorry, but I don't agree with you at all and it makes me a little angry to read it. The only thing that would happen if you discipline a child the way you mentioned above would be years of therapy because of the your abuse (yes, I think that's child abuse - and emotional abuse)

Its not considered child abuse. That's the problem with parents today, they let their children run all over the place, cross boundaries, and hurt other people's children in daycare centers, etc.

Parents aren't setting boundaries- that's the problem. If parents had boundaries (if it weren't ruled as medical problems, I'm talking about all disorders here, ADHD, Autism, UTI, etc), then most likely, the child has pure laziness and needs to be taught right from wrong (No, you do not wet the bed, Susie). Its not emotional abuse- its setting boundaries. Watch Dr. Phil - he will say the same (boundaries need to be in place) and many other professionals have stated to my father to spank me, so you can't say professionals wouldn't recommend spanking in today's society. So, its simply not abuse, if you aren't harming the child. That means, you let your children walk all over you, argue, and not have any consequences at all?

So, you say its abuse to pull a child's hand away from the oven and smack the child's hand saying "no, hot?"

Ok...someone has a problem here. Its not me. You can accuse me of abuse all you want, but I'm making sure my child won't touch a hot oven.

some children's bladder develop at a slower rate. my son wet the bed till he was about 8. i used a non crinkly mattress liner and NEVER EVER made an issue of it. he would wake me, we'd do a quick clean up, he'd hop in my bed and into the laundry with all of it! he is gonna be 11 and it has been over 3 dry years.....discipling a child for a natural body function that they cannot help...can you say therapy......

laziness is when during the day they are wetting themselves and even then you find ways to help them, not ridicule them or punish them.



- Yes, Arlene you're correct. Boys tend to develop their bladders at a later age, though if not ruled out by a medical professional (counselor, dr, etc), then its pure laziness.

If I go to a dr and say, "Why is my son wetting the bed? And he says, "Maybe his bladder hasn't developed and he may have Down Syndrome," then I'd go back and reason and say, "Okay, understandible, some children have medical problems." Or.. I would understand it if given a reason, but if I've tried everything you did and STILL, nothing worked, then consequences come into play and yes, counseling for the child to work on the issues.

Arlene- it sounds like your son is making great efforts and trying. In that case, it definitely isn't laziness. Great parenting!

That's when you redirect them... Arlene and move them away from the oven. Redirect to toys, etc.

Ok. Its fine. You can disagree. Though, you have your parenting ways of doing things and I have mine. Have a good day.

Oh and one last thing, when I'm stating spanking, as stated above (no objects), just your hand, enough to break their ego. Its in Psychology. Read some psychology books and you will know what I'm talking about or watch Dr. Phil. :)

As a parent, I had to deal with this with my oldest son. He just would not wake up at night. We tried the alarm, not drinking before bed. Nothing worked. The alarm woke us, but not my son. What finally DID work like a charm was a prescription we got from the Dr. I can't remember what it was, but it was nose drops of some kind. He used the nose drops 1 time and never ever wet the bed again.

Michelle, I'm sorry but I've never heard Dr. Phil condone spanking. Spanking is now considered abuse and has been proven to not accomplish anything other than to show that it's okay to hit people. Have you ever watched Super Nanny on Wednesday nights? She has made that point on many occasions. Oprah has also made that point.

As far as a 19 year-old that wets the bed, I would definitely say that that individual has significant emotional and/or psychological issues, if not physical problems. I do not know of any person who would consciously want to wet the bed.

Added note...My son was 12 years old when we tried the nose drops. They really did work so fast and it was so easy.

Cheryl, thanks for sharing that. Nose drops, huh?

Michelle C. please do not think that I am attacking you. My comments were out of concern for you and your children. My heart goes out to you for what you endured as a child. It doesn't matter that you were not sexually abused. Abuse of any kind can impact the self-esteem and emotional well-being of a child.

And one last thing, Michelle. You say that spanking is to break their ego. What it may do instead is break their spirit. That is incredibly sad.

Sadly, bed-wetting in children over 2 can be a sign of child sexual abuse. Every parent dealing with this should be aware of this and open to the possiblity that this is a red flag for abuse.

That being said, late enuritis seems to run in our family. Different solutions have been employed. One child was hypnotized and cured, another used a electronic warning system that cured him by training him to wake up before he wet. That took about 3 weeks. He slept so soundly that at first we had to get him up and he appeared to be awake and would carry on a conversation but in the morning said, no, he had not gotten up at all during the night.

Another child stopped wetting the bed when she started sharing a room with an older sister. She had been prone to nightmares as well.

Above all, no child should be shamed, scolded, or punished for wetting their bed.

Wow... What an interesting thread.

J recently wet the bed. It is the first time he's wet the bed since age 4. Though since age 4 and that incident, he has had TWO times where he's wandered around half asleep and pee'd in the wrong place and then gone back to bed. I suspect that there's some occasional sleep-walking going on. His aunt (my sister) did it a little at the same age, and outgrew it. If he had done it again, I would have taken him to the doctor. It hasn't happened, so I'm writing it off to one of those things that happens sometimes.

Okay - laziness and toileting. I have never punished for bed wetting. I HAVE restricted five-year-olds to the house when they have insisted on peeing their pants repeatedly outside because they didn't want to be bothered to come inside and use the toilet (these are children who are perfectly potty-trained when inside, or when out in public, just can't be bothered when they're at the sandbox, on the swing set, etc.)

My oldest did that. Every time he did it, he was inside for the rest of that day and all of the next one. There was no spanking, it was just what I believed was a rational consequence.

My ex MIL accused me of child abuse for that.

I still think I was right. He just preferred to keep playing until he couldn't hold it anymore, and was waiting too long. It took a few weeks, to be honest, but he learned he got to play outside a whole lot more if he came in regularly to go potty.

Michelle, are you a parent yet, or just operating on the opinion of someone who will one day BE a parent? I'm not sure from your comments. I've learned as I've parented that some of my early assumptions were a bit too rigid for the individuals children are. I hope that perhaps you aren't parenting yet, and will be open-minded enough to realize that every child will react differently to different punishments, and that there are very effective punishments that don't necessarily involve physical discomfort.

It's easy to preach and judge when you don't know what you're talking about. That's all I can say. (And I also second most of Lisa's last paragraph.)

My little girl Francesca potty trained herself when she was two and a half years old, when when I remarried after my husband's death, she began wetting the bed at night and continued until she was 12 years old. I should have seen this as a troubling sign of the stresses that marriage placed on my child. I remember getting up during the night to change her sheets so she wouldn't have to sleep in a wet bed. One night, when I suggested she change her nightie she went into the bathroom and opened a drawer and not finding a nightie sat on the steps. I realized then that she was not even awake but sleepwalking. She stopped wetting the bed when I divorced her step father.

My children were born premature and didn't develop feeling in their kidney and bladder until they were between four and five.
But once they were trained they also quit wetting the bed.

Lisa, in answer to your questiion...Michelle C. has a baby three months old and is now pregnant with another child.

Beryl, it says a lot that your daughter stopped wetting the bed when you divorced her step father. Thanks for sharing this.

Yikes, I dont dare comment :)... I must say that my little boy started wetting the bed again after being potty trained at 4yrs old.. He had NEVER done this and it was a MAJOR red flag to me... The next morning I gathered a urine sample, took it to the Drs office immediately after dropping him off at pre school... This was April 27th of 2007 almost a year ago.. I didnt make a appointment just showed up.. They were so understanding with my concern (I thought a UTI).. Tested the urine , came out to me, and said Irina you need to go pick up your son and bring him in immediately.. The results they said are no he doesnt have a UTI< but most likely is diabetic.. I got my son came back they tested his sugar it read H~ which means it was over what the meter could read, usually in the 500's, and were told to bring him into the hospital immediately, where we stayed all weekend and learned everything possible about diabetes..They said that I am lucky that I noticed this so quickly cause the outcome could have been he could have gone into a coma.. Thats a real scary thought..

I am not saying by any means the the children mentioned are diabetic, just saying rule out all possible health problems, first..

I am so so glad that I do not spank... Yes it was fustrating to change clothes , bedding, etc at 2am, 3am, 4am. I do understand, but please dont spank , go to your doctor, rule out any health factors, talk to your doctor, set up a plan, talk with friends whatever you need to do, for support.. The child feels bad enough.. teach them that your hand is for holding, comfort, not hurting.... JMO

When my oldest was just a few weeks old she was diagnosed with Vesicoureteral Reflux. This is an inherited condition where a valve doesn't fully close, that can increase susceptibility to bladder and even kidney infections, and can contribute to wetting accidents, both waking and sleeping. It was only after attending the educational sessions with the doctors that we learned that years and generations of bedwetting in our family had been something none of them could help. In researching it, I read that it's estimated as much as 70% of the utis in children are because of this, often undiagnosed. The lesser degrees don't always cause obvious problems (so not necessarily enough to even be caught), and can be outgrown on the child's own by age five. More severe cases, on the other hand, can lead to repeated hospitalizations and may only be fixed with surgery.

It's something that gets missed a lot, the nurses when my daughter had her initial problems with it assumed I just didn't know how to change a girl. Fortunately her doctor rocks, and tested for it, or we still wouldn't know. One of my cousins whose daughter had repeated problems that can be attributed to it was scolded for giving bubble baths, and only found out about VUR from an email I sent out to the family sharing our dx and what we'd learned. My sister directly asked her pediatrician if her son's problems could be from anything medical and was told no. Then received my email....

So when bedwetting happened in our house, it wasn't unexpected, the bed was already in a plastic cover and we just changed the bedding and moved on. She's six now and hasn't had this problem in a couple of years. Her little brothers haven't shown any signs of having it, thank goodness, but we also haven't reached potty training stage yet. Hopefully it's so light as to never trouble them, or they've escaped it entirely.

As a child, I did wet the bed. My mom decided I was doing it because I was lazy, and spanked for it. Something she learned at the hands of her mother, as it had also happened to her - I think she had the condition worse than I did, because she wet the bed far longer than we view as typical for children.

Irina and Lune--thank you so much for sharing your stories. It is so important to get this information out there! I hope that everyone will pass this along to friends and family. There's no telling how many children and parents could be helped by this information!