Choose Your World

Few realize we choose the world we live in. It goes beyond a belief in God and accepting Jesus. We choose how we approach life whether we have those beliefs or not.

How we choose to approach life, is how we choose our world. If we live focused on hurts, we live in a world of hurts. If we live focused on love, we live in a world of love.

Too simple, excluding too much?

Let me explain- hurting people hurt others. If you can look beyond the insult and hurt and respond with love and concern, there is far greater impact that causing hurt back with the justification you were hurt first. Sometimes we need to confront the people that hurt us and let them know that we realize they want to hurt us. We can try to get them to understand they may not have all the information and are making assumptions or drawing wrong conclusions. Too often in life we all respond with withdrawal, hurt feelings or revenge. This can serve to validate the other persons view of us. Nothing can get fixed if we don't discuss things.

Perception can be part of this. In-laws can seem to be controlling, nosy and disruptive. It may be their perception is that they are unappreciated, trying to help and view all decisions of being from the spouse, who they may think is the gateway to their child. Many children allow their spouse to take the fall with decisions they make. Even when the spouse is not directly involved, the parents may blame the spouses influence. On both sides when there is a power struggle and miscommunications, no one walks away the victor. Families are not what they could be. No one should be a doormat, and with communication no one has to be. But without respect for everyone's feelings, and some effort with communication and perspective, there can be no harmony. 

One example: a womans aunt commented that her boyfriend/husband was immature. He was a teenager at the time. For decades he hated this woman and nothing was resolved because she didn't realize he held a grudge over this one critical comment. She had no opportunity to heal the rift, and he let anything she said or did be without merit or value because of this one comment.

If you open up and try to deal with something like this it is up to the other party to listen and appropriately respond. I have found with verbal abuse that confronting the abuser and calmly asking them why they want to hurt you, if they intend to hurt you with their comments, or to elaborated more on what they are trying to say can defuse the situation and lessen the abuse until it disappears. In not responding in anger and asking questions it gets the other person to think about what they are doing. In many ways people bait us into arguments and if you want a more peaceful environment, don't take the bait. Anger only escalates anger. Calmness, or love, will tend to calm down the situation. People don't tend to be thinking when they are hurt or angry. Focusing on what their point is, rather than the hurtful words bring things down to a level they can be discussed. Acknowledging someone's anger especially in children is vital, as it validates that they can feel pain, hurt and anger. It is talking calmly and dealing with the issues that can effect change. We all are allowed the luxury of anger, but we need to know how to deal with it and it is better to be handled with some tender loving care so we can deal with our emotions in a healthy way.

There is an expression, "Live by the sword and die by the sword." I think this carries over in how we approach our lives. We decide who we are. We generally are at the wheel of the ship called our lives. We decide what to steer clear of and what waters we decide to sail into. We have no contol over the waters, only our response to what storms come our way.

Many who understand and feel God's unconditional love may realize that love begets love. Love conquers and heals all. Love is the one gift we give that returns to us. Living in love, brings us peace inside. It helps us keep our ship afloat in the worst of storms.

Love does not override common sense in abuse situations, but love is a powerful tool as well as a way of life. I have spent time wondering why I cannot help but love and forgive but I do not get the same from others. The differences is that I see the world through Jesus's eyes and not everyone has choosen to do the same.

For me, the greatest lesson I learned was to forgive and to love others. The main witness of my life is forgiving and loving my parent and putting my life aside, moving over 1,000 miles at God's direction to care for them at the end of their lives. For all involved a miracle occured. I am still in the process of healing but it was a major break through for me when I completed my mission and I believe there was no greater love that God showed my parents than giving them his unconditonal love and care through me. It is a great witness to how God changed me and how I am a child of God. I am still a work in progress. Our real witness to the world as ambassadors for Jesus, is the change in us and our lives.

I choose my world to be one of love. What do you choose your world to be?