by June B.
Member since:
October 4, 2007

I Don't Understand ~Why~

April 07, 2008 05:59 AM UTC (Updated: April 07, 2008 06:11 AM UTC)
views: 0 | comments: 82
 

                                       

 

 

 

I don't understand

         Why people eat blackened bluefish,

         Why bacterium is the only culture some people have,

         Why I sometimes forget the last word in the...

         

But most of all I don't understand

         Why Quantum Mechanics and the Doomsday Argument are relevant,

         Why evil and suffering are necessary,

         Why people think war determines who is right, when it determines who is left,

         Why there's never time to do it right but always time to do it over.

        

What I understand most is

          Why we shouldn't test the depth of the river with both feet at the same time,

          Why men with holes in their pockets feel cocky all day,

          Why we get exhausted if we run behind a car,

          Why we sit in our own pew when we fart in church.

 

Comments: 82

Wanda H. Apr 7, 2008, 6:36am UTC
I love them all, every one. Thanks.
penni d. Apr 7, 2008, 7:32am UTC
:)...
Pat S. Apr 7, 2008, 8:42am UTC
Junie B, both funny and poignant at the same time! I dearly love this!
Oh my....hahahahahahaha....great way to start out my day June.
Thank you for this fun Why poem...I loved it.
In deed, one could even say...I understand most of all
Why my farts never stink to me...
because I know when I've let one out and can get out of the area!
Beth H. Apr 7, 2008, 11:07am UTC
June, June, June!!!!

This is the perfect start to a workday Monday!
t b. Apr 7, 2008, 11:08am UTC
LOL Nice to read you so darn funny this morning June!
Beaker (just Beaker) Apr 7, 2008, 12:20pm UTC
We can talk quantum mechanics, if you have a couple of years to spare! But maybe you should ask a New Yorker, because they talk a lot faster than I do.
simon g. Apr 7, 2008, 1:30pm UTC
JK thanks for the cue. I am both a New Yorker and a quantum mechanic. Its all very easy, Come on over and I will explain everything.

June, you already understand everything my dear. Even why men have holes in their pockets.
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 2:35pm UTC
Penni, Wanda, thank you very much.
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 2:36pm UTC
Kathy, I knew you'd like the farty one. LOL
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 2:39pm UTC
Pat, Julie, Poignant? LOL, I like that word.
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 2:40pm UTC
Thank you Beth. I'm glad I started your Monday with a smile.
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 2:41pm UTC
Hehehehe, thank you Terry!
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 2:42pm UTC
JK, There's no use. I'll never get it. ;o)
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 2:43pm UTC
I know Si, that cocky can get quite an attitude at times.
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 2:44pm UTC
Awwww, thank you miss Judi.
vickie f. Apr 7, 2008, 2:46pm UTC
Great pondering June LOL
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 4:11pm UTC
Thank you Vickie!
Dale C. Apr 7, 2008, 4:15pm UTC
Funny.
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 4:24pm UTC
Thanks Dale. Wow, thanks for reading me!
Danielle P. Apr 7, 2008, 4:37pm UTC
great questions!!
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 4:46pm UTC
Thank you Danielle. I love the story by Bob too!
Judi F. Apr 7, 2008, 5:05pm UTC
OMG, June! Hysterical! This is wonderful! (and I'm loving Sy's comment...)
Lisa "Queen Wombat" F. Apr 7, 2008, 5:23pm UTC
I don't think I want to know about that hole in the pocket one.

Thanks for this, June!
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 5:25pm UTC
Thank you Judi, and I love his comment too. Hehehehe! Yes, I do know some things well.
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 5:28pm UTC
Lisa, I promise not to explain men and their cocky obsession.
John Philipp Apr 7, 2008, 5:28pm UTC
This was so clever and amusing, June. Thanks for posting to Humor Monday.
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 5:37pm UTC
You're welcome John, and thank you for featuring my article on Humor Monday. I'm both excited and honored.
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 5:50pm UTC
Thanks Reena! Junie Bee is buzzin' all over right now. I'm so excited!
Wendy C. Apr 7, 2008, 7:19pm UTC
Bravo, bravo! Well done June.. very well done. Grinning broadly.

People really fart in church?
Jill Lynn A. Apr 7, 2008, 7:19pm UTC
June, you are so cute! I enjoyed your article AND your comments. To quote you, "HeHehehehe."
Vivian A. Apr 7, 2008, 7:29pm UTC
Snortle... Very amusing June. So right in so many ways.
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 7:39pm UTC
Wendy, I think so. Either that or there was something dead in the pew in front of me. After turning blue from holding my breath, I grew a brain and moved to another seat. Peeeeeeeeewwwwww!
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 7:44pm UTC
Thanks Jill, I do laugh too much at times.

Vivian, thank you sweetie.
Jamie C. Apr 7, 2008, 9:37pm UTC
So very clever, June, and funny too. Thanks for putting a smile on my face after a long day. :-)
June B. Apr 7, 2008, 11:08pm UTC
Awww Jamie, thanks for reading me.
DIANE D. Apr 8, 2008, 7:25am UTC
This is a great way to start my day, thanks for the laughs.
Jo C. Apr 8, 2008, 9:55am UTC
I truly enjoyed this one and am glad John featured it so I could catch the "heads up" . This really brightened my day and I love your icon too :)
Lune Wolfsong Apr 8, 2008, 12:13pm UTC
Rofl, June. Good ones.
Curt L. Apr 8, 2008, 12:36pm UTC
Great post! Thank you, June! :-)
Bill W. Apr 8, 2008, 3:02pm UTC
June - Hilarious!!! Your namespace icon says a lot about your sense of humor. Would you be presenting a toast or is that a standard pose for Florida folks?

Rest easy
June B. Apr 8, 2008, 3:56pm UTC
You're welcome Diane! Thank you so much for stopping by.
June B. Apr 8, 2008, 3:58pm UTC
JCorn, I can't believe it was featured. I'm jumping up and down, spinning around. Thanks sweetie.
June B. Apr 8, 2008, 4:00pm UTC
Lune, Nice to see ya rollin' on the floor but beds are softer. Thank you so much.
June B. Apr 8, 2008, 4:01pm UTC
You're welcome Sir Curt.
June B. Apr 8, 2008, 4:07pm UTC
Bill, you're right on both counts. We're very laid back and friendly down here in sunny Florida. We'd toast constipation if we had the need... *wink
Sheila Deeth Apr 8, 2008, 6:41pm UTC
That was fun!
June B. Apr 8, 2008, 10:07pm UTC
Thank you Sheila.
Paidra Delayno Apr 9, 2008, 12:52am UTC
June, This sets well with the high standards of excellence you have risen to. And besides that, I enjoyed it. Thanks
June B. Apr 9, 2008, 6:23am UTC
Thank you Paidra. I got lucky this time.
t b. Apr 12, 2008, 3:03pm UTC
I came back for a little pick me up.
Thank you June!
June B. Apr 12, 2008, 8:19pm UTC
You're welcome Terry. Thank you for coming back.
Granny Janny Apr 14, 2008, 8:22pm UTC
I really don't understand how you got a copy of that photograph of me with the margarita taken at the poolside party last summer! This is obviously an attempt at impersonation.
Oh yes, and this piece is fabulously funny.
Clever and funny!
Miz Lynn aka/BooBoo Apr 14, 2008, 11:04pm UTC
HA! HA! The church PU was funny!!!
Mariana T. Apr 15, 2008, 11:58am UTC
love these - hahahah thanks June - I was drawn over by your wonderful Icon! It's the best! Salud.
June B. Apr 15, 2008, 10:11pm UTC
Yes Deb, and why do they call them TV sets when we only get one?
June B. Apr 15, 2008, 10:11pm UTC
Oh Janet, I didn't realize I had a twin. This is wonderful!
June B. Apr 15, 2008, 10:13pm UTC
Thank you Magi the magical poet that flows with the wind.
June B. Apr 15, 2008, 10:13pm UTC
Thank you Lynn. Glad you enjoyed it.
June B. Apr 15, 2008, 10:15pm UTC
Salud, I like your icon too. Thank you for stopping by.
Charli Mills Apr 16, 2008, 3:45pm UTC
Witty fun, June!
June B. Apr 16, 2008, 8:38pm UTC
Thank you Charli.
William Dotani Apr 18, 2008, 1:17pm UTC
Cute and very funny.
June B. Apr 18, 2008, 4:50pm UTC
Thanks William.
K M. Apr 19, 2008, 12:08am UTC
I don't know who's funnier - George Carlin, Stephen Wright or you! I love this, it actually made me think, and that ain't easy!

xxoo
June B. Apr 19, 2008, 1:04am UTC
LOL Dee Dee, This one was featured too. Ok, you have to find the wombats site. I need to introduce you to them. They don't believe we're 58 and 59 years old.
June B. Apr 19, 2008, 1:06am UTC
But first we have to get you an icon. Sock puppets don't get it. You can click on my images and pick out any picture you want or use any jpg image.
William Dotani Apr 20, 2008, 4:46am UTC
I reread these for a morning laugh. I haven't seen any good jokes this morning so far.
June B. Apr 20, 2008, 7:45am UTC
Thank you William. You're too kind.
t b. Apr 22, 2008, 12:05am UTC
I love the new icon June!
June B. Apr 22, 2008, 7:51am UTC
Thanks Terry. I love reading your poems. I don't do it for a return comment, I do it because I enjoy reading you. But hearing from you is icing on the cake.
Lynn Doiron May 12, 2008, 2:23pm UTC
Much, much enjoyed. Sometimes, sometimes I do like the way Gather puts related titles or whatever it is that they do on the ends of things I post so that I become aware of missed moments/words and can share in them, even a month or two later. Liked this a lot. thank you.
June B. May 20, 2008, 6:52pm UTC
Thank you Lynn for stopping by. I enjoyed you reading it too. LOL
t b. May 27, 2008, 12:13am UTC
I don't understand why with the housing market failing, and gasoline prices skyrocketing, our government has the guts to raise my taxes on my house $93 dollars a month. They were already sky high!
Donna S. Jun 19, 2008, 8:34pm UTC
too funny
June B. Jun 23, 2008, 5:51pm UTC
I know Terri, It's terrible. My taxes and home ownerns insurance have tripled since 2000, it takes $80 to fill my gas tank, grocery bill doubled in the last few months, power, water all gone sky high and I'm on a fixed income. Not good here. I'm thinking of selling out and moving out of Florida so I can lower my property tax and hoe insurance. Cuz they's a buncha hoe's for screwin' with us.
June B. Jun 23, 2008, 5:52pm UTC
Glad you stopped by Donna.
Kimber L. Jul 2, 2008, 10:24am UTC
Junie these are great!! LOVE THEM!!!!
June B. Jul 2, 2008, 6:49pm UTC
Thanks Kimber.

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