ONE LAW IS ALL WE NEED

Professor Deke Reese of the Law Department of Neanderthal University in Dusseldorf has proposed a new law whose purpose is to make all other laws obsolete and unnecessary.

This law states, in part, "It shall be manditory for all persons, both male and female, to use their heads with its associated brain and all of the physical senses appertaining thereto, including, but not limited to, the sense of sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch, at all times and under all conditions, whether in a public area or in one's own home, whether driving a motor vehicle, walking, standing still, sitting or lying down".

A violation of this law, termed "failure to properly utilize the head in a manner befitting a human being", will be regarded as a felony and subject to the wrath of society and penalities administered by the courts.

The penalty for a conviction under this one, all-inclusive law, will be the shackling of the wrists to the ankles for a period of not less than seven days to period not to exceed the life of the guilty party, depending on the severity of the offence and the degree of public wrath.

The benefits of this new law will be three fold, as follows:
1.     Due to the simplicity of the law, rendering most other laws unnecessary, the need for lawyers will be greatly diminished, thereby reducing an unwanted plague on society.
2.     The means of punishment will reduce the need for prisons consequently relieving taxpayers of a great burden.
3.     The possibility of re-offending during the period of punishment will be rendered virtually non-existent.

This law, if passed, will become effective as soon as law enforcement authorities are able to obtain a sufficient number of hardened steel, unbreakable shackles.