by Charli Mills
Member since:
April 21, 2006

Incident in a Raspberry Patch - 100 WORD STORIES WEEK 8 - CHALLENGE

March 31, 2008 12:38 AM EDT (Updated: April 06, 2008 03:51 PM EDT)
views: 148 | comments: 71
Raspberries spilled from Grandfather's hand. He lay on his back, a gunshot wound to his groin, another spreading blood across his chest. I longed to go to him, and place new moccasins on his feet. 

From my hiding place I watched the white invader kick Grandfather with his boot, then tie a rope under his arms. He rode off with Grandfather dragging behind his horse. 

Later I found Grandfather's body in a refuse pit outside their town. Hair hacked off, body decaying, nostrils blown away by firecrackers celebrating the 4th of July.

Tears spatter like raspberries left in the dust.

 
"Write a short scene in which one character reduces another to uncontrollable sobs without touching him or speaking."
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Comments: 71

★ツ♥êll¡ê♥ツ★ . Mar 31, 2008, 2:34am EDT
10
Wanda H. Mar 31, 2008, 3:11am EDT
Very big 10. What a great story. You grabbed me by the throat and pulled me right along. Wow.
Charli Mills Mar 31, 2008, 10:36am EDT
Little Crow was shot picking raspberries with his grandson (or son) on July 3, 1863. It was almost a year after 400 settlers were massacred and 38 Dakota hung in the largest mass execution of US history. The remaining Dakota were exiled from their homeland. Sorry, sorry story on both sides. Very complex and still in need of healing today.
Miz Lynn aka/BooBoo Mar 31, 2008, 10:39am EDT
Whoooa, this is a good one! I recently joined this group and have been wonderfully surprised, lots and lots of great articles.
Jim Ross Mar 31, 2008, 11:00am EDT
Charli, this is tops! No expectations are left wanting; the pathos is potent and affects the reader as it does the powerless grandchild. The horror, the horror . . . Professional stuff, my friend.
Marianne M. Mar 31, 2008, 11:07am EDT
Oh Charli! Brilliantly written drabble ... this was a shocking and horrible event! I've read about it many times. The pictures you skillfully paint are so vivid. Well done.
Charli Mills Mar 31, 2008, 11:35am EDT
Thank you, Lynn. This is a great group with great challenges. This week helped me get back on track with my novel.

Jim, that means a lot to me. Thank you. I've been working the story of Little Crow for more years than I want to admit. I had a huge breakthrough in research this weekend and the floodgates are open again.

Yes Marianne, we in Minnesota know this story--it is so shocking. I've been working with Dakota elders and researching at the history center for an authentic narrative. I hope this will be just as powerful beyond 100 words.
Charli Mills Mar 31, 2008, 11:36am EDT
If you are interested in some background on the Dakota Conflict of 1862, I've posted what I hope is a link (but forgive me if it is not): The Tragedy of Minnesota
Charli Mills Mar 31, 2008, 11:37am EDT
Happy dance! I succeeded in creating a link! Oh, the littlest of things make me happy!
Parul S. Mar 31, 2008, 3:09pm EDT
Charli...you said so well...healing still needed....very touching, gripping scene, that leaves the reader full of sobs for times that were then.......
Parul S. Mar 31, 2008, 3:09pm EDT
and thank you so much for the the link, I love to know about how things came to be as they were....thanks again
Lisa J Mar 31, 2008, 4:14pm EDT
Charli, this is great.

Wow.
June B. Mar 31, 2008, 4:36pm EDT
This is excellent Charli. WTG
Marge H. Mar 31, 2008, 11:06pm EDT
Just amazing and tragic! Well researched. This certainly entices readers to want to know more.
Charli Mills Apr 1, 2008, 7:46am EDT
Thanks, Marge. I hope to get more work completed on this!
John Philipp Apr 1, 2008, 1:54pm EDT
I lot of power for 100 words, Charli. Good job.

Thanks.
Stephanie B. Apr 1, 2008, 3:17pm EDT
Few things cause more tragedy than blind and unthinking hatred.
Tanya P. Apr 1, 2008, 3:37pm EDT
Wow. Nothing much more I can say, just........Wow.
Anita R. Apr 2, 2008, 12:19am EDT
Perfectly wonderful story telling - this is a fabulous drabble Charli - great job.
Ann R. Apr 2, 2008, 12:50am EDT
This is so powerful Charli...you can feel it before you even start to read. You will be the right person to tell the story.
Tracey W. Apr 2, 2008, 9:06am EDT
Wow, you really went for the jugular with that one. Intense, well written, very powerful drabble. I ache for the grandchild who had to witness these attrocities.
Lynn R. Apr 2, 2008, 2:30pm EDT
Ouch!! This was so intense. What a powerful read.
Ruthe M. Apr 2, 2008, 5:12pm EDT
A very intense read, Charli. Great drabble about such a horrific time.
Jimmie (Hey! Let's Gather!) Harris Apr 2, 2008, 5:27pm EDT
so sad :(

such a horrible heritage my people have left the native peoples... and I grieve
Susan B. Apr 2, 2008, 5:59pm EDT
Charli this really speaks to the enormous sadness I feel. What a beautifully written story about such a heinous crime!
Alison Pearce Apr 2, 2008, 10:15pm EDT
Fantastic drabble!
Tara T. Apr 3, 2008, 4:11am EDT
Tragic, sad, history is written in cruelty,hate and blood. Excellent drabble Charli.
penni d. Apr 3, 2008, 9:42am EDT
this was Strong, charli...wow!!
Amanda C. Apr 3, 2008, 11:20am EDT
Excellent take, Charli. well done
ChrisJerri S. Apr 3, 2008, 11:22am EDT
Very sad; but I like the way you used raspberries that can stain like blood plus the contrast as well with the sweetness of the life giving fruit and the lifelessness of the blood.
Kay M. Apr 3, 2008, 11:28am EDT
Powerful drabble Charli!
Lucky Stars Apr 3, 2008, 12:11pm EDT
This is such an amazing drabble, Charli. Too bad it's based on truth. I can only hope we humans may eventually learn by our past horrible mistakes (if you can call them that). I love your writing style.
lynn a. Apr 3, 2008, 3:12pm EDT
This is just too gruesome.
Sheila Deeth Apr 3, 2008, 6:18pm EDT
Wow. Huge story in a beautifully told incident.
Charli Mills Apr 3, 2008, 7:00pm EDT
Thank you all, for your encouraging comments.
Jonathan S. Apr 3, 2008, 7:04pm EDT
Powerful and affecting.
Jennine D. Apr 3, 2008, 8:23pm EDT
Sad at the hatred and atrocities people do to one another through out our history.
Kate Keeley Apr 3, 2008, 10:11pm EDT
Whoa, Charli. That was powerful. It is heartbreaking the things we'll do to other living beings.
sharon SugarMomma is a wise woman, Apr 4, 2008, 11:44am EDT
Excellent drabble - everything a whole story encomasses in one hundred words.
Lune Wolfsong Apr 4, 2008, 1:29pm EDT
Excellent write, Charli. Powerful.
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. Apr 5, 2008, 12:03am EDT
Eeeeew. Well done! :)

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
Alice N. Apr 6, 2008, 1:31am EDT
Great job, Charli! Nothing more to say after reading this.
Tracey W. Apr 6, 2008, 9:07am EDT
Congratulations on your first place win! It was certainly well deserved.
Ann R. Apr 6, 2008, 9:19am EDT
Well deserved Charli! Congratulations.
penni d. Apr 6, 2008, 9:45am EDT
Congrats on #1 this week, Charli... YEA!! :)
Susan B. Apr 6, 2008, 9:48am EDT
Congrats on your win! It's a very powerful drabble :)
lynn a. Apr 6, 2008, 10:18am EDT
Congratulations on your win. I read this before the voting. I don't know why my comment isn't here, but this really hit me hard. This is a very evocative piece, and bravo to you.
Jim Ross Apr 6, 2008, 10:45am EDT
Hi, Charli. Congratulations! Your win has left me with the biggest grin; you are SO deserving with this great historical piece. :-)
Stephanie B. Apr 6, 2008, 11:30am EDT
This was beautifully done. Congratulations!
Kay M. Apr 6, 2008, 11:42am EDT
Congrats Charli!
Kate Keeley Apr 6, 2008, 11:51am EDT
Yea, Charli! Congratulations on your 1st-place win!
Dee - Nature Babe! Apr 6, 2008, 11:54am EDT
Congratulations! This is beautifully done!
Marianne M. Apr 6, 2008, 1:13pm EDT
Yay Charli! Congratulations on your FIRST PLACE win for this incredible drabble!
Marge H. Apr 6, 2008, 1:45pm EDT
Congratulations Charli!
Tanya P. Apr 6, 2008, 2:49pm EDT
I was SO glad to see you win 1st with this piece. So well deserved! Congratulations.
Sandy F. Apr 6, 2008, 3:09pm EDT
I was away during week 8 and just happened on this now. What a wonderful 100 word tribute to the terrible injustice our Native Americans endured. Someone's grandfather, someone's son or daughter. It's so easy to forget "they" are as human as "we" are. Sadly, this type of action is still going on today. There are people dying all over the world.
Charli Mills Apr 6, 2008, 4:43pm EDT
Thank you! This gives me encouragement to finish Little Crow's Story.
Alison Pearce Apr 6, 2008, 4:56pm EDT
Congrats Charli!
elizabeth e. Apr 6, 2008, 5:38pm EDT
Congradulations, Charli...this was tragically beautiful.
Lune Wolfsong Apr 7, 2008, 1:44am EDT
Congrats, Charli!
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Apr 7, 2008, 1:10pm EDT
Tragic and Brilliant . Congrats and your drabble was really wonderful.

(Sorry, I missed this great piece but happy to catch it now)
Sheila Deeth Apr 8, 2008, 3:43pm EDT
Great win. Congratulations! A beautifully written drabble.
sheila h. Apr 8, 2008, 11:28pm EDT
Poignant,heart-rendering ,tragic..all of this ..and more..a sad page of history that you fleshed out skillfully ..allowing us to feel,see ,hear and smell the atrocities that may have and likely did occur in some fashion..
Congratulations..

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