Limited by My Language

Written by Jim

Over the past week I have been experiencing a lot of different feelings about this endeavor, feelings that, though I feel a compulsion to share them, I find myself unable to find the proper words that will capture what I mean.  For three years now, I have been working this project.  If I have not been performing tasks (getting sponsorships, writing grant proposals, mapping the route, scouting locations, etc.), I have been thinking on it, trying to devise ways in which to make it a reality.  I've learned many things, both by my successes and my mistakes.  I have been fortunate to witness the best in people and unfortunate enough to witness what I can only define as the worst in people.  My emotions concerning this project have spike both high and low and there is no doubt that, no matter what happens, it will be an experience that I will remember for the rest of my days on this earth.

The entire crew has been working to refine their skills, and raise funds for this worthwhile endeavor.  It has been quite a challenge to get others to see the value in and contribute to what we are trying to achieve.  This is not a criticizm, as I understand the position they are in when people like myself approach them for donations and sponsorships.  I have spoken to many people.  Many people are supporting this.  Some, I sense, have a difficult time believing that this plan is for real...that a group of individuals from Pittsburgh, PA have successfully planned a project of this magnitude.  I don't blame their scepticism.  I would probably have it as well.  In fact, sometimes I can't believe that we did it; that we have managed to take this entire country, break it down in sections, find and scout locations, and develop a plan that I can only describe as remarkable.  It is an enormous prospect.  But the wild animal that this project started out as has been tamed, and we have all been able to find harmony with it, so that it has now become a integral part of our identity.

So, this is the year.  This is time to do this.  The crew of unfathomably talented people are here and ready to go.  Nick is here.  His story should be told, and now is the time.  All of this has come down to just a day on the calendar, the day that we decide as a group whether we can or cannot do this thing.  April 1 (ironically April Fools' Day).  This is the day that we get our financial commitments from our foundations and others.  Will it be enough?  Can we make it work?  Sleep will not come easy this weekend.  Time seems to have slowed to a crawl.  The time between now and April 1 has somehow expanded into what feels like a millenium.  I sit with positive thoughts, asking all to send your positive energy our way.  And hopefully, April 1 will be a day for celebration!

I find myself wondering what life will be like once the project comes to completion and it is something that is hard to imagine.  It has been the center of my obsessions for years.  It has sat inside my head, constantly tapping me on the skull to remind me that it is still there.  Reviewing of maps, locating roads, analysing weather reports, waking to late night revelations.  All of this has been a part of my life from the moment that I came up with the crazy idea. 

What will it be like when it is over?  Will it be over at all?  Do I ever want it to end?