by Kristen O'Connell, DK Publishing
Member since:
June 25, 2007

Live Chat – Get the Real Deal on Pregnancy! Monday, March 31st @ 4PM ET

March 28, 2008 03:58 PM UTC (Updated: March 31, 2008 02:38 PM UTC)
views: 0 | comments: 43
Erika Lenkert interviewed 115 moms across the world of all ages to learn about their experiences with their pregnancy. In her new book The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy she answers some of the most asked questions ("Can I still have my hair highlighted?" "Is it true that hot tubs are off limits?" "What about the champagne I guzzled last week?"), shares delicious recipes from star chefs, gives advice on maintaining relationships and your sex life, and provides wardrobe tips on how to feel like a babe even with a bun in the oven.

Join us for an hour long chat on Monday, March 31st @ 4PM ET with Erika to get the "real deal" on how to feel good and take care of yourself during your pregnancy.

The chat will take place within the comment field of this article. Just post your question below!

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Comments: 43

Sherry Wight Mar 28, 2008, 3:59pm UTC
Sounds like a fun one!
Sarah G. Mar 28, 2008, 4:00pm UTC
I always love to hear what other pregnant ladies have to say! I am looking forward to it!
Connie C. Mar 28, 2008, 5:34pm UTC
This should be a fun and educational chat.
Family Editor Mar 31, 2008, 3:56pm UTC
Hi Erika,

We are looking forward to speaking with you today. I have a bunch of questions that were emailed to me and anyone who joins us should jump in and ask away.
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:00pm UTC
Hi! I'm excited to be here. Send any and all questions my way and thanks so much for having me!
Family Editor Mar 31, 2008, 4:02pm UTC
Erika, I'll get started with an email question:

I have some major pregnancy swelling going on with my feet and ankles. Any advice? I'd also love to know if there is a stylish yet comfortable shoe you might suggest?
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:06pm UTC
Great question, family editor! I'm sorry to hear about your swelling. The good news is that it comes and goes, and even better is that you can do things to help it. First, watch your diet and go for protein foods and high-potassium snacks. Also, drink lots of water, try lemon water to get fluids out of your system, and put your legs up every now and then. Also, avoid crossing your legs. Another great thing is to exercise! A safe workout (walking, swimming, etc. helps you feel better in infinite ways while pregnant! As for shoes, get something comfy for you and go for something with a 1-1/2 inch lift. Even chic flip flops will do!
Family Editor Mar 31, 2008, 4:08pm UTC
Another email question:

I read in your book that you had a c-section. Was the recovery hard? What advice do you have for new moms/dads who had go through a c-section and for pregnant women who want to prepare for that possibility?
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:13pm UTC
Well, I never gave it much thought beforehand, but a C-section is major surgery--and it feels like it, too. In the first week or so it was painful to get in and out of bed, cough, laugh, or sneeze. But honestly, the experience of having a new baby in the household really trumped any attention I put on discomfort. That said, the best things you can do for yourself if you have a c-section is create time to heal and recover. That means making sure someone is around to do the lifting, housework, and anything else you might need to do. It really helped me to have my husband hand me the baby to nurse since getting up and down was uncomfortable. It also helped to keep things next to my bed so that I didn't have to get up as much. Frankly, it would have helped to have a rope hanging from the ceiling so that I could pull myself up with arm strength! One thing moms who already have children have to contend with is the sadness their children might have when mommy doesn't want to pick them up right after a c-section. In such instances, it's a great idea to explain to your kids that you have an "owie" that is healing and that you can't wait to pick them up when you are all better.
Family Editor Mar 31, 2008, 4:15pm UTC
From another member:

My friends keep asking what kind of shower I want. Any thoughts on cute shower ideas? I'd also love to know your thoughts on the best places to register?
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:21pm UTC
I love the idea of a mocktail party shower. Get the girls all dressed up, including the mom-to-be, or even include men. I've never been much of a fan of sitting around as people watch me open my gifts, so I love the idea of skipping that or having everyone sit in a circle and open the gifts they're giving to their friend all at once while someone writes down who gave what. And now that I know how little time I have to nurture friendships, I feel it's even more important to make a point of having fun with your friends.

As for where to register, I would encourage moms-to-be to encourage their friends to get them practical gifts because the stuff ads up and a good deal of those crazy-cute outfits won't get much wear from baby, if any. I did Amazon.com for books and music, Target.com for basic nursery stuff, and egiggle.com for great green/high-quality stuff.
Family Editor Mar 31, 2008, 4:22pm UTC
Erika,

One of members asks:

Is there a good pregnancy book for dads-to-be that you recommend? I want to help my husband feel more connected to the pregnancy.
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:25pm UTC
Absolutely! There is only one book that I think really speaks to men in a way that men will actually enjoy reading: The Go-to Guides for Guys: ABCs for Expectant Dads. It's absolutely hilarious and likely the only book that a man will actually read when you're not looking.
Family Editor Mar 31, 2008, 4:26pm UTC
And from another Gatherer:

Erika, do you have any thoughts on the whole birth plan thing? I have heard some people who swear by them and others who think they are ridiculous.
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:32pm UTC
I think it's a good idea to write down and share with your partner, your doctor, and the hospital at check-in what you want for your birth experience. It can be really simple, like "I want my husband to cut the cord, I want a private room, or I don't want an epidural--or give me an epidural the second I get in the door." Or it can be extremely elaborate. What's good about it is that it gets you to research and think about what you might want before you're in labor--which is not the time to start pondering much of anything. But it's important to consider any birth plan as an itinerary, not a set of rules, since labor and birthing may not go to any particular plan. For me, the more knowledge and flexibility I have, the better off I am. But if you just want to walk in and hand over all the considerations to medical staff, that's fine, too. It's a personal choice. There is no right or wrong way to do it.
Family Editor Mar 31, 2008, 4:34pm UTC
Erika,

What is your take on the "push present" or "baby bling"? A lot of members emailed questions about that. Should women expect their partners to buy them something for carrying the child and going through labor or is it completely shallow?
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:41pm UTC
I am ALL ABOUT the partners offering up a token of gratitude for being temporary housing for your new family member. However, that didn't mean my hubby bought me anything to commemorate the event ;) I think we moms deserve as much celebration as we can get. But it doesn't necessarily have to come in the form of a fancy bauble (though what's not to like about that?!). Frankly, it meant a lot to me that my hubby took leave and stayed home to help for the first month. And that he washes the dishes and cleans up the house sometimes when he comes home from work. And as much as I love bling, I'm more excited to pay down our mortgage. I guess what I'm trying to say is that not all people give in the same way. If you expect your partner to give you a fancy gift and you don't get one, you may be disappointed and consider that evidence that your partner doesn't appreciate what you went through. So, if you really want some bling, ask for it or get someone to guide your partner to the purchase. Otherwise, watch for expression of gratitude in other ways...
Kristen C. Mar 31, 2008, 4:45pm UTC
lol - my husband does not like the idea of a push present!
Family Editor Mar 31, 2008, 4:45pm UTC
Great answer Erika,

Here is one from a stressed out fashionable mom-to-be:

I feel like everyone I know is obsessed with which stroller and diaper bag they are going to get. What are the favorites of the women you have spoken with?
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:46pm UTC
Kristen: Well, tell him there's always the dishes ;)
Bridget Riley Mar 31, 2008, 4:46pm UTC
What are some of the things that people always register for that they never end up needing?
Bridget Riley Mar 31, 2008, 4:48pm UTC
How important is exercise during the first trimester? Between feeling tired and queasy, I haven't really been to the gym since I found out i was expecting :o(
Sherry Wight Mar 31, 2008, 4:49pm UTC
I meant to be here earlier but forgot of course, LOL. I'm on #3 right now and have NEVER gotten a push-present. A friend of mine got a diamond tennis bracelet. I was a little jealous.
Michele F. Mar 31, 2008, 4:49pm UTC
Hi Erika, My friend Anna just had a baby boy (her first)! She didn't register anywhere and I have no idea what to get her. What are some of your favorite gifts to give new moms? I would like to spend between $50-$100.

Thanks!
Sherry Wight Mar 31, 2008, 4:49pm UTC
Oh, I can answer some of these, LOL....
Bridget Riley Mar 31, 2008, 4:51pm UTC
Geesh, Sherry, I hope you get some good mothers day gifts!!!
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:51pm UTC
Ah, the stroller and diaper bag dilemma. I find it really frustrating that people are getting as materialistic about those as they are It bags and sports cars. It's crazy to spend huge money on something that's going to get barf and drool all over it and be obsolete in around two years! The most important thing to consider when buying either is that is is practical and comfortable for you and your baby and good quality. Moms I know like the strollers that have the snap-in infant car seat. I had one that was given to me and it was a huge bonus because you don't have to wake your baby to get him out of or into the car. Top diaper bags? Depends who you ask. But if I were you, I'd go for the unisex looking one so that hubby will want to tote it around, too. (Speaking of, some strollers are easier for tall people to push than others; test drive before you buy...my husband hated pushing our stroller because it was uncomfortable for him.)
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:55pm UTC
Hey Sherry: Thanks for writing! As far as exercise, it's not critical, but it will help you to get more energy and soothe lots of unsavory pregnancy symptoms. But we're not talking running a marathon here. A walk is a great form of exercise. That said, your body knows what's good for it. If you're tired, take it easy. Then get some exercise in when you feel better.

As for unnecessary baby gifts--clothes are a big one in my book. It's no fun trying to stuff a bobble-head baby into fancy duds. Plus they spit up on them and then you're stuck trying to change them...I also got 40 onesies at my shower!!! Way too many.
Sherry Wight Mar 31, 2008, 4:55pm UTC
Let me just DITTO everything Erika said about strollers and diaper bags! My diaper bag is a non-name brand that's a plain navy blue. And strollers... I have a Graco in a neutral pattern. (Well, two since I have a single and a double. But both are green.) I've test driven lots of them, and the ones that are priced at $400 aren't really a lot better. They may be slightly easier to steer and they certainly look cooler, but when you're hauling diapers and bottles and the like, who cares?
Sherry Wight Mar 31, 2008, 4:56pm UTC
(The exercise q was actually from Bridget. :) I don't exercise during my first tris because I'm too sick.)
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:58pm UTC
Michele:

Favorite gifts to give new moms? I like to give them things their kids will grow into. Robeez white boots are awesome for 1 year olds. They look like little Uggs and are super comfy and won't fall off. I'm also a big fan of books. But stay away from the ones everyone will already have, like "Goodnight Moon" and get something that kids will like later, like "Wheels on the Bus" pop-up. Or, if she doesn't already have one, a play mat with lots of bells and whistles is good.
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 4:59pm UTC
Sorry, Bridget and Sherry for confusing you two. I'm trying to read and type quickly before this ends!
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 5:00pm UTC
And Sherry! I hope you feel better soon!
Family Editor Mar 31, 2008, 5:00pm UTC
One more quick one Erika,

A member asks:

Is there a problem with drinking herbal tea while pregnant and if so, which flavors are safe/should I avoid?
Sherry Wight Mar 31, 2008, 5:01pm UTC
Thanks. :) I'm at 28 weeks, so I'm as good as I'm going to get WRT feeling sick. I take nausea-control meds clear through til D-Day though.
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 5:03pm UTC
Not all herbs are safe for a pregnant woman, even though they are "natural." Check the internet for a list of herbs and teas that are unsafe. (Especially since some herbal teas combine various herbs.) There's a lot of information out there that's definitely worth reading.
Erika Lenkert Mar 31, 2008, 5:04pm UTC
Thank you gals for coming out to chat with me. I really enjoyed it!!!
Family Editor Mar 31, 2008, 5:07pm UTC
Erika, thank you for joining us this afternoon. And thank you to all the Gather members who participated.
Sharon B. Mar 31, 2008, 10:22pm UTC
Some very great information here, thanks for chatting with us about it.
Michelle C. Apr 2, 2008, 11:38pm UTC
I missed it... :(
Patty M. Apr 26, 2008, 11:58am UTC
This is great info. A friend just ordered the book, and we will be working together on it.

Thanks for sharing!

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