And they lived happily ever after. Yeah, sure. In fairy tales maybe. Or in your dreams. Almost without exception, women marrying for the first time expect their future to match the fairy-tale ending they grew up hearing. Real life often offers something less, however. At least it does for 50 percent of couples, that's the current divorce rate.
Women still carry the fantasy that a knight in shining armor, the perfect mate, will come along and they will live a life of bliss forever.
In the past, most women expected to get married, be housewives and mothers and be supported financially by their husbands, but not true today.
Women also think the when they get married they're going to have a best friend, someone they can really open up to. Meanwhile, men's expectations revolve around their wives "being there" for them, nurturing them during stressful times, being a support and a helpmate. When those expectations are not met, a great deal of discontent is sure to follow. With all of the different expectations, it's no wonder that couples who expected to make beautiful music together often strike some sour notes right from the start.
Then they say they can't communicate, and I think that is the number one complaint, As a woman I need intimacy through communication, and men I think, want it from action. In other words, men and women have different emotinal intimacey requirements and communicate those needs quite differently.
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Comments: 7
I say, get living, and get loving. Don't sweat the small stuff. We're all adults, so we need to just take care of our common needs.
This time 'round, I married the person my best girl friend tried to fix me up with for 6 months. He's truly my soul mate and the love of my life. He loves me unconditionally, adores my 2 girls as if they were his own, and gave me 2 more good things in life - my youngest 2 daughters.
I guess I am the embodiment the "50% of all marriages end in divorce" figure.
I gave up on the whole fantasy of marriage when I discovered my ex-husband "forgot" you are supposed to stop dating other women once you get married (lol). While I adore my Patrick, marriage is hard work. There are days where he drives me completely batty (and I know I do the same to him) and it takes some reminding that I love him (especially when he borrows my car and returns it so far on empty that I barely have enough gas to get to the nearest gas station - a mile from our house *grrr*).
But we communicate. We discuss our problems, we don't pretend that they don't exist (like I experienced the first time 'round). Because we talk so much about everything and anything, it's easier. When there is a major problem (like my ex not paying child support for almost 9 years), we talk about the problem, what steps we need to take to resolve it (in this case, hiring a collection agency to go after the $57k he owes me), and we make it happen.
Too many couples don't do this. They figure it's easier to scrap everything.
Great post!