A weaker man would allow "Beckoning fingers and siren eyes" to soothe their longing. I like your poem Fred, it's a sort of antithesis to "Love the one you're with," what do you think?
Hello my dear Fred! I like this!!! I feel like this lately too and so does 'he' ;)! I will be sure to share this poem with him, he writes beautifully too.
I agree with Marge. It sounds a bit sad. You should go to a local bar and try one of your delightful stories on the women there. Surely someone will dance with you!!
Fred - this evokes a wonderful feeling of love and beauty in the first stanza, and then breaks it in half when you reveal your loneliness. The emotions are effectively drawn and in general I think this is quite good. I do agree with Pepsie about the word poetry instead of poems, and I would suggest that you don't need the word "And" in either of the two places you have used it. Finally, I start just a bit when you use "eyes" in two successive lines. I might consider changing that second line in someway.
I read Tom's comment. I find the word 'and' an unbreaking continuation of thought, but feel this poem flows well with or without the word. In this line, 'But my eyes only see,' maybe the word 'soul' would be a better fit than eyes.
Intelligent and " covered in sand" for those who canot see or hear! Hey..this is not about a woman , it is abot..love and not being understood. pola filia
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Comments: 15
( My fingers want to write poetry)
I don't know , but I thought it to be more rhythmic. I always like everything you write.
Great work, my friend!
In this line, 'But my eyes only see,' maybe the word 'soul' would be a better fit than eyes.
pola filia