I Was A Teen Mom!

I was a teen mother. My oldest child was born three months before my eighteenth birthday. Oh, how I thought I knew it all then! I couldn't understand why people would give me so much unsolicited advice, give me such dirty looks, or just tell me how I was too young to have a baby! I was, after all, married, and had graduated highschool at sixteen. I was "READY".

Knowing what I know now, I would go back and wait before having my first child! I discovered, that, at eighteen, there are many things we aren't ready for... Including parenthood! I'm not suggesting that all teen parents are BAD parents, by no means. I mean that teens are simply not ready for the emotional and financial responsibility of a child. No matter how mature they are.

Parenthood is an awesome thing, and a tremendeous responsibility! At almost eighteen, and even until I was twenty-one and pregnant with my fourth child, I didn't fully grasp just how difficult parenthood was, or just how tremendous the responsibility of having a child! I thought, with my oldest child, that because I was married, had graduated highschool, and was able to support myself financially, that parenthood was perfectly fine, that it would be easy, etc.

How wrong I was! Parenthood has been the most challenging thing I have ever done, the most stressful thing in my life! I am responsible for these tiny little beings, who depend on me for their every need. My children rely on me to provide for their every want and need, to be there to kiss every boo-boo, to wipe away all their tears, to keep them safe, warm and fed! That's an awesome responsibility! I didn't fully grasp that, however, when I was a pregnant teen.

Too often, teenagers don't heed the advice of their parents and other adults in their lives, and too often, teens get pregnant, sometimes with disastrous results! I am not against teens having babies, not completely... But there is something to be said besides just teaching them the basics of sex-ed in school.. That only tells them the basics of how baby gets here! Why not focus more on the responsibilities of parenting, the loss of personal freedom that so many teens desperately need to be able to grow into happy, healthy, well-rounded adults... at the least, the basics of parenting. Focus on what a baby needs to be happy, secure, safe and well-taken care of... Too many teens end up pregnant and not knowing even these basics!

I was married when I got pregnant with my three older children, and by the time I was pregnant with my fourth child.. I was single. I didn't fully grasp how difficult parenting was, how hard it is to raise a child, and how awesome the responsibility until I was over twenty-one, single, and facing doing it alone! How terrifying that time was for me! I was scared both for myself and my children! I was a single mom, and I felt I had no idea what I was doing!

What a lot of growing we do between our teen years and our early twenties! If we have babies too early, we often don't get that chance to grow, and never fully "get it", about what it means to be an adult, and even more importantly, a parent! I truly do believe teens are not ready to be parents... I know I wasn't. Too often teens are too stubborn or mule-headed to be scared of the responsibilities of parenthood, it's like as teenagers, we just don't have the sense to be scared!

Since I was a teen mom, and now I am a grown woman of twenty-five, I have done a lot of changing, I have grown a lot, and I feel I am now ready to be a mother! I definitely have a better appreciation for the joys and pains of parenthood, and I have a better sense of the responsibility of parenthood!

I don't regret being a mother so early, or taking on the responsibilities of parenthood so soon... My only regret is it took me so long to figure out just how hard it really was! "Grown-up" mothers have a hard enough time of it, teens should focus on the little time they have left as "children", and be careful to prevent pregnancy!

Teens, if you're pregnant, understand it's a truly difficult and demanding responsibility, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

Parents, if your teen is pregnant, make sure you're nothing but supportive and there to help guide them! Teen parents need all the help they can get!