Everyone knows of Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson, the British naval hero who turned the war with Napoleon Boneparte's French Empire in Britain's favour when he destroyed the French fleet at Trafalgar. Were it not for the Little Admiral we might now all be speaking French and dressing far more stylishly and arguing about existential philosophy instead of dressing badly, arguing about people speaking in tongues and ignoring philosophy.
There are many interesting facts about Nelson. It is true he was only five feet tall and had one arm but not true that he only had one eye. He had two but was blind in one.
Nelson's last words as he lay on the deck of his flagship The Victory having fallen to a snipers bullet, were not Kiss Me Hardy nor even Kismet Hardy as some homophobic historians insist but, " Fan, fan; drink, drink; rub, rub; it was not a reference to some bizarre Naval sexual practice, the poor man, in extremis, was hot, thirsty and his chest hurt like hell.
Real famous last words often disappoint compared to the fictionalised ones.
One thing Nelson did truly request before dying was that his body should not be buried at sea as was traditional, but returned to England.
Cape Trafalgar, on the southern coast of Spain, is in a warm climate and even with favourable winds a sailing ship was two weeks from the south coast of England. In order to comply with The Admiral's wishes the officers decided to preserve the corpse in a barrel of brandy to keep it fresh.
This would have worked had the Victory not taken a few hits to its provisions hold during the battle. Unfortunately the crew's rum supply had been destroyed and on a long voyage there were two things a British sailor could not do without, rum and a cabin boy.
While the officers showed admirable self restraint the crew took to having a quick slurp through drinking straws at Lord Nelson's unorthodox embalming fluid .
By the time the ship made port most of the Bandy had gone and the Admiral was stinking a bit.
His feet were in lovely condition though.
To this day the practice of having an illicit drink on board ship is known in the Royal Navy as "tapping the Admiral."
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Comments: 16
Some of my favorite last words:
"I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis."
~~ Humphrey Bogart, actor, d. January 14, 1957
"I'm bored with it all."
Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.
~~ Winston Churchill, statesman, d. January 24, 1965
"Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough."
To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.
~~ Karl Marx, revolutionary, d. 1883
"I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record . . ."
~~ Dylan Thomas, poet, d. 1953
Michelle Mead and I are both Oscar Wilde fans so I'll be a gentleman and leave MM to tell you his.
King George VI was interesting, his were "Bugger Bognor." His wife had suggested they go to the seaside for a few days. The poor old boy was so appalled by the idea hedied to get out of the visit.
Tapping the admiral is absolutely true.
I had some famous last words I really enjoyed, but I only remembered the gist of them and can't remember who said them, so, I'm useless as usual.
The Regis bit comes from having a royal residence in the borough. Bognor? There is a whole science to British place names and its not one of my areas of expertise. I'd guess it's derived from the name of a Saxon chief who founded a settlement nearby.
Your wife's is a typical female reaction, they've no sense of adventure :-)
The Lady Hamilton thing, yes that is a whole other chapter in his life. She was quite a girl from all accounts. And certainly not a size zero either, she was a "proper lady" as my daughter and her friends describe their voluptuous friends.
In my experience a zombie is made with a bit of stage makeup and a video editing package.
You're a fan too then?
Well you know what sailors' reputation is like...