Karma? Fate? Destiny?

I have found myself at yet another crossroads in life. The biggest one I have faced so far...I think.

It seems that I have found myself stripped of most everything that means anything to me.

I sit here reflecting on all that has passed, all that has been lost, and all that I yearn to regain or receive, and all that I wish to let go.

I found myself pondering Karma and it's implications.

How is it that I find myself here in this place at this moment?

Why is it that karma has dealt me this fate, this destination?

I have always tried to live by love and not hate. To act with patience towards others and myself. I have always tried to do the best that I could at every turn along the way, and keep a smile on my face through all of the trials.

I've tried to pick myself up, and face the world with head held high even in those times, and especially in those times, when others have publicly put me down, and told lies about me, in an attempt to cover up both to themselves and to their peers, the wrongs that they have done. I have then sat back, with closed lip, and watched while their own hate and deceit brought them to a face of justice. Then I have chosen to walk away and forgive those things they have done to intentionally bring pain to me.

I'm not claiming that I haven't made mistakes. I have made many. I have always tried to correct the ones that I made, and learn from them. I'm not always sure that I have found the correct lesson out of them all, but I have always searched for it, and then I have worked to forgive myself for the choices that I made.

They say we keep making the same mistake over and over until the lesson is learned.

What is it that I have failed to learn so badly that fate or karma has chosen to take away the love of my life, the profession that has sustained me my whole life, and a place that I can call home? Why is it that I find myself here stripped naked, forced to look upon myself in this way?

What is the Universe trying to show me and teach me?

Where is it that destiny is trying to lead me to?