by Ann R.
Member since:
November 28, 2006

Our House~100 word story, week 6, challenge

March 17, 2008 10:53 AM EDT (Updated: March 17, 2008 11:02 AM EDT)
views: 89 | comments: 39
100 Word Story using Super Power, Alliteration and Oxymoron (in bold)


The doorknob rattled as I entered the kitchen. A woman, looking like the wife of a wealthy professor, was stirring oatmeal on the stove.

The scent of white peonies filled the living room. A bottle of India ink lay broken on the sunroom floor. At the top of the staircase, sat a boy, looking into the distance. My house…who were these people? A Persian cat in the bathroom window. On it went 'till twilight.

The monitor glow faded. A man, with an important looking letter in his hand, glanced back as he closed the front door. I turned the lock.
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Comments: 39

Jim Ross Mar 17, 2008, 11:12am EDT
Wonderfully spooky, Ann. Makes me want to know more. Your prose is slick as ice and I slide along on it, impossible to stop 'til the end. Good job.
Kate Keeley Mar 17, 2008, 11:14am EDT
What beautiful images you've painted here and such an air of mystery. I love the oxymoron, "wealthy professor." It adds just the right dash of humor.
Deb J. Mar 17, 2008, 11:31am EDT
Spooky and cool!! Good job!
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Deb J. Mar 17, 2008, 11:32am EDT
Sorry above graphic was too big!
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Deb J. Mar 17, 2008, 11:32am EDT
Well, that's wild...now it is!!
Marianne M. Mar 17, 2008, 12:21pm EDT
You've created a deliciously spooky story, Ann! Wonderful images ... loved the white peonies and the bottle of India ink and the Persian cat!!! Well done!
Parul S. Mar 17, 2008, 2:21pm EDT
you have SPOOKY written all over it....................i'm sure I'll remember your drabble when i open my locked door today.....what did you do ANN? wonderful drabble though
Marge H. Mar 17, 2008, 4:53pm EDT
Hmmm. Previous residents? Love it Ann. Your oxymoron made me chuckle too.
Anita R. Mar 17, 2008, 7:51pm EDT
Ann this is such a beautifully painted story, so rich with description. Very good drabble.
Kay M. Mar 17, 2008, 7:55pm EDT
A spooky mystery
Susan B. Mar 17, 2008, 11:24pm EDT
A nice drabble! Very eerie Ann :)
Charli Mills Mar 17, 2008, 11:53pm EDT
I love how your drabble open and closes with a door nob. You have great, intriguing details that tell enough of a story but beckon for more. What a bummer that 'wealthy professor' is an oxymoron!
Ann R. Mar 17, 2008, 11:54pm EDT
Thanks everyone, they are friendly spirits, some of them famous. Marge...you guessed it.
Alison Pearce Mar 18, 2008, 2:28am EDT
Fabulous drabble!
Granny Janny H. Mar 18, 2008, 2:55am EDT
Ghostly delight.
Barbra L. Mar 18, 2008, 2:50pm EDT
Ooh! Mysterious befuddlement, Ann. So well-written, I had to read it more than once!
William Dotani Mar 18, 2008, 4:22pm EDT
You've created a snapshots of surreal remembrances of your life in this house. The ending is quite sad.
Ann R. Mar 18, 2008, 5:42pm EDT
This is the boy and this is the man. (neither related to me)
Elsie Duggan Mar 19, 2008, 12:42am EDT
Very good drabble, Ann, and I loved the story, kind of spooky and yet not really, a comfortable spookiness.
John Harris Beck Mar 19, 2008, 12:28pm EDT
A neat puzzle, Ann, and thanks for the links. Interesting to know some history of one's house. Which you released like a magician, in marvelous images.
Ruthe M. Mar 19, 2008, 4:04pm EDT
An air of mystery looms in this one. It makes me wonder if the glow of the monitor was a hospital monitor; and she was between life and death.
Susan Budig Mar 19, 2008, 7:29pm EDT
I gather from John Beck's comments that these strangers were people from your house's past? Nice twist.
Ann R. Mar 20, 2008, 9:39am EDT
The house had been in one family since it was built in 1925. My backyard neighbor filled me in on who had lived here. The boy was a grandson who came here summers, and the man a visiting prof with similar political leanings. The woman ran the Univ. Press.
Vicky Duggins Mar 20, 2008, 10:18am EDT
That's a little chilling. Vapors left from past owners?
Jonathan S. Mar 20, 2008, 10:44am EDT
Neat. Is this time travel to the past? Or to the future? I like the way we're left not knowing.
necee t. Mar 20, 2008, 8:24pm EDT
ooo i like it... great story... cool... Blessings...
Wanda H. Mar 20, 2008, 8:43pm EDT
Had to read this once twice, just for the spookiness factor. Very nicely done drabble.
Tracey W. Mar 20, 2008, 8:46pm EDT
eerie, very cool drabble!I love the imagery.
Jan S. Mar 21, 2008, 2:51am EDT
Very mysterious.
Lune Wolfsong Mar 21, 2008, 6:16am EDT
Ooooh. Lovely story. Cool choice for the drabble.
Mary Z. Mar 21, 2008, 1:25pm EDT
Well, just great, now I'm looking over my shoulder every few seconds. Have enough trouble with the "real reality". Ann, this is brilliant. Brava!
penni d. Mar 21, 2008, 9:53pm EDT
i liked the backwards sight..:)
David S. Mar 22, 2008, 11:45am EDT
I love the smattering of images that all add up to a wonderfully emotive piece, Ann.
Ellie !. Mar 28, 2008, 10:55pm EDT
fanscary!
Sheila Deeth Apr 2, 2008, 4:22pm EDT
Fine scary story.

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