On another article you asked for honest feedback, so I took you at your word and pickec something random.
You have some nice images here, but distracted me right up front. What is the word "Scracted" Were you going for 'refracted' maybe? And the word is not schizofrenic, it's schizophrenic. I know that in poetry, people play with language and words, but in such a small frame, spellings like that, intended or not, provide to big of a distraction.
That said, the overall feel is moody and intricate. Not bad.
Despite the misspellings, Ylanne, the poem worked for me. I loved the last 2 lines, especially. I'm wondering if refrated may be the better word than Scratched?
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Comments: 12
You have some nice images here, but distracted me right up front. What is the word "Scracted" Were you going for 'refracted' maybe? And the word is not schizofrenic, it's schizophrenic. I know that in poetry, people play with language and words, but in such a small frame, spellings like that, intended or not, provide to big of a distraction.
That said, the overall feel is moody and intricate. Not bad.
Thanks for posting this on The Book Nook.