All in the name of love

As so many of you know Eric and I will be celebrating our first anniversary this St Patrick's Day.  I remember the day we decided on this date.  We had originally picked a day in July, we then moved it up to April.  We had it planned we was going to get married out by the river where they have this huge beautiful cross.  Was going to have reception and all out there where else to have a wedding then surrounded by the beautiful earth.  Well, Eric and I had an arguement the night that we decided to move it up.  I won't go into all that went on at the time we was both under a lot of stress, between James' bio mother or as I call her egg donor harrassing us.  Me, scared that James would have to go back to her and so forth.  Well, James spent some time with his adopted grandma and papa only real grandparents he has.  The next day after the arguement broke out it ended up with Eric coming to get some of his clothes and what I thought was going to be a breakup.  I can't remember who started calling who but I remember Eric asking if he could come and talk to me.  We sat there for about 5 minutes not saying a word to eachother.  Me having the temper I have told him to just go back to her.  He looked at me saying he didn't want to he loved me.  We continued to talk and as always Eric calmed me down.  A talent he seems to have that so many others don't have with me.  We ended up hugging and kissing.  He looked at me and said lets move our wedding up now mind you this was in February and our date was now set for April.  Well, I asked him when he told me in March.  I told him to pick a date we looked at the calendar because we both wanted it on a Saturday.  He picked the 17th, now I don't know about him but I didn't even realize it was St Patricks day till I started getting things for the wedding.  We had already picked out the colors red and black because it went with our theme.  Eric is big into international tractors and if you don't know they are red.  Plus we wanted a redneck theme as well because well its a personal joke between my bestfriend and Eric which maybe me or him will tell you about sometime.  We called our friend (James' adopted grandparents) and told her we was moving the date up and it was back on.  She had already helped me get some of the items for the wedding so we kept the colors.  To be honest if I knew it was St Patricks day earlier and didn't already start picking colors I would of went and tried to do some sweet talking to change the color to green.  Not only because it is St Patricks day but also its my favorite color.  We hurried to plan this wedding in 3 weeks time and people thought we was nuts.  Well, it was the best day of my life and it happened all in the name of love.



Wedding party from left to right; James' adopted grandma, Judy; my bestfriend, Maria; me; Eric; Eric's brother, Thomas; James' adopted papa, Nolan; James


Well, I got to thinking and I went back to when I first got James dropped off into my apartment by his bio mother.  People asked me several times why I did this and why I am raising him as I am.  Some think I am nuts with already having two children one 20 and one 16.  It is a simple responce not only is James my son no matter if blood is in it or not.  Would you turn away your blood?  I think not if you was any kind of person.  I love his father very much and when you fall in love with someone who has a child its a package deal no matter how involved it is.  As I said James is mine in my eyes so this package wasn't much for me to deal with.  The big reason in all I do with James is because its all in the name of love.


James and me right before he was dropped off in my apartment by his egg donor.


Now lets go back farther.  I got to thinking about my own kids.  Now this part may be a little complicated to many of you because of the fact you aren't real familiar with this story and to be honest I am not emotionally ready to go into details on this matter as of yet.  The children live with their father and when I was with my second ex husband (yes I have been married 3 times) they went to live with their bio father about a year after we was married.  The abuse had started getting really bad after they went to live with him and I started making up excuses not to go get the kids on visitation.  Not every visitation just when I was worried that something was going to exculate that I didn't want them around.  Now I know many of you are going to think this is wrong thing to do.  But in my eyes I am a victim of child abuse.  Growing  up around the abuse I knew this was not something I wanted my kids to see.  They have a very loving father and stepmother that while I am sure they have their arguements they don't have abuse.  I chose to do this all in the name of love. 

My handsome son, Nicholas



My beautiful daughter, Megan


Now I am going to go back even farther.  When I chose to cut the ties with my mother this was for one reason okay maybe two reasons.  Not only did she tell me once again I was not her daughter and she didn't want me around.  The main reason was I was tired of the abuse, she hurt me real bad with something she had done in regards to me and my children, and it was all in the name of love.  I know I threw many of you in that last part; you are all asking how did I do it all in the name of love?  Well, it was all in the name of love for myself.  I knew I couldn't handle anymore abuse and I still can't.  When I made this decission I was about to snap and I knew I had to do it.  So many has told me I needed to make a mends with my mother.  It is simple I can't and I won't point blank.  I can no longer put myself in the hands of abuse.  Again it is all in the name of love......
for myself.

All of this brings me to the reason for my last group I made.  I made the last group so we can all share love.  So rather you have stories, videos, pictures regarding love then this is the place to share them. I do ask that you don't post just simple pictures of one person.  I want to actually show the love.  Right now the group is not moderated so please I ask that you all go with this theme.  We all need love and I want to share it.

Please join All in the name of love