Satirical Rant About Cruel Comments and More

When I become perfect I'll let you know and remember to give you justice for your cruel words. However, since I'm not perfect and the odds a trillion zillion squared to one that I ever find Delaware on a map, I'll just imagine a large shovel taking your words of manure and shipping them to the Bush ranch. You have to be cruel to be kind in the right measure. Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign. Well, unless you like being tied up and whipped, or think your date or wife would enjoy a night watching the movie Eraserhead to lead up to that special moment, I think cruelty is really rude, hateful and could lead you into the direction of collecting kitchen sinks, which of course would mean you should run for president. I could never understand what a person hoped to achieve by being cruel. It seems to me cruel people are very selfish and resent everyone who doesn't agree with their point of view. They tend to be the most obnoxious of the politically correct and probably never did the silly walk, even when there were long lines to get to a restroom.

Maybe you're wondering where this rant is going. I sure am. Excuse me while I adjust a loose screw. Ah yes, I'm talking about some of the vicious comments I have read on some other Gather member articles. Accusations so thick and hateful that you know the person took the Jethro Tull song 'Thick As A Brick' to heart in emulation. If such a person is that way to a Gather person they've never had a spot of tea with in real life, just imagine what a joy they are to actual people they know in real life. I can just imagine such a person going to child's birthday party with a sharp pin and popping the balloons, then recording sounds of the children crying, so they can play these sounds in the background while watching their collection of Bush & Cheney speeches. Maybe I'm going too far and becoming cruel. I'll need to watch some Lawrence Welk to regain my kind nature. One person in particular is the queen of cruel on Gather. I was wondering why and then I saw the reason on TV. It seems she did not win the Ugly Dog contest and needs to bark at someone.

I've been on Gather for over a year and can think of only two instances where someone attacked me with their comments to one of my articles. Excuse me while I get a hanky. It is so cruel for these cruel people to ignore me. Sniff sniff. Maybe they think I'm too cute and of course no one attacks someone who should be annually on the cover of People magazine as the most handsome unidentified alien. Maybe they realize I have a third leg because these cruel attack comments are sexist. The only ones I've seen have been against women. Can you believe such prejudice in this day and age? Maybe if these cruel people listened to the song 'Bounce Your Boobies' they would understand why most men, except for me of course, spend so much time looking below the neck and realize that not all women are blondes. Some women have pink hair thanks to Marge's cloud seeding efforts. Most women have a bad hair day at least once a week and these cruel comments on make matters worse for their husbands and all men in general. Maybe this is a conscious trickle down theory by these cruel commentators to really single out their wrath on men. Oh my! It makes me wonder if those of us who never have a bad hair day are actually the intended victims.

Since I am not perfect, I am shocked, besides myself with dismay and often have to eat lots of chocolate to revive my spirits when I see my article has a 10 star rating. I know that a 10 star rating means the secretive group, Cows Only Wanting A Reply Don't Share, (Please read capitalized letters for their acronym), only have it in their charter to leave one star ratings and would never expose themselves without a raincoat or by making a comment. These people generally speaking like elephants and donkeys and are divisively split into two parties. One of course are the cruel people who never found any use for Teletubbies, walks in the park, or reruns of Mr. Ed. The other group consists of those who only want you to read their articles and have no intention of ever commenting on another person's articles. They of course are very fond of lemmings. Not all mass mailers belong to these groups, but it is easy enough to tell. If you responded and made a comment on their article more than once and they never commented on any of your articles, then they think you are a cute lemming and will continue to feed you with request to read their articles. If you don't continue to do so, well, there could be consequences. Do you like jumping off of cliffs? I must apologize for this article not being perfect, but I am practicing. By the year 2525, if man is still alive and still looking below the neckline, I just may succeed and know the color of my wife's eyes.