Following Prostitute Report, Spitzer Vows Crackdown on Self

ALBANY, New York.  Crusading New York Governor Eliot Spitzer today demanded a complete investigation into his involvement in a prostitution ring, saying he would not rest until he had determined whether he had violated any laws.

Spitzer:  "I am going to find out how much I know about this if it's the last thing I do."

"When any public official violates the law, it is a violation of the public trust," Spitzer said following his confession that he had used the services of prostitutes through the "Emperors Club VIP".  "I will be sleeping on the couch in my office until I get to the bottom of this or my wife lets me back in the house, whichever comes first."

"I'd like to go over the FY 08 budget with you--line by line."

The Emperors Club VIP offered prostitutes to its customers at prices that varied according to an internal rating system.  Women with "Governor's Club" rankings were available at a cost of $5,500 an hour, while "Lieutenant Governor"-ranked women cost $3,500 and "State Assemblyman"-rated escorts were available for $24.99 an hour, but came with a complimentary New York Giants Super Bowl XLII souvenir plastic drink cup.

State Capital, Albany, New York

Spitzer's confession to sexual relations with a prostitute stood in sharp contrast to his image as a crusading reformer that carried him to the Governor's Mansion.  "Most of our politicians are whores before they're elected," said SUNY-Albany professor of political science Geoff Turley.  "I don't know what took Eliot so long."

Copyright 2008, Con Chapman