HOLLYWOOD POV: "10,000 B.C."

In a remote icy frozen wasteland among small group of early humans who call themselves the Yagahl, a young D'leh (Steven Strait) is attracted to the beautiful girl with piercing blue eyes called Evolet (Camilla Belle). D'leh's father bids him goodbye and departs on a quest of his own, leaving his son in the care of his compadre, TicTic (Cliff Curtis). As the children grow up they know full well they are meant to be together, but as Hollywood movie rules demand, they must first be forced apart and then struggle mightily to come together again. For the entire length of the film 10,000 B.C., that is.


Watching the hunter-gatherer Yagahl's chase down a woolly mammoth (called manuk in this story), by stampeding the herd and catching a lone manuk bringing up the rear in a huge net made of vines was a splendid reimagining of how such prehistoric people might have fed themselves. Seeing them hang on the words of their sorcerer, Old Mother (Mona Hammond) who has a special place in her heart for the only blue-eyed girl in the tribe, simplifies for us how religious beliefs and superstitions have always had a place in the control of a group. And watching D'leh go after his true love reminds us how Hollywood has ruined true real-life love for all eternity.



D'leh wins his loves hand and his father's special spear, but loses everything when 4-legged demons (early Egyptians on horseback with a pyramid fetish) ride into the Yagahl camp and abscond with as many people as they can tie to their horses and drag them back on a forced march to their camp by the Nile. You can't build a pyramid without slaves, now, can you? Of course, our hero survives the raid and gathers a group to go after the stolen tribesmen and women. They cross the frozen wasteland of mountains, snow, and ice and immediately enter a hot green tropical climate with giant bird raptors that the audience is led to understand are all that remain of the dinosaurs who roamed the earth 11,000 years ago. They immediately come upon a group of huts and meet their first Africans who join them to get their own people who have also been taken by the 4-leged demons.




Everyone goes after the slavers together and they come upon an amazingly huge camp as far as the eye can see of half-built pyramids and the thousands of slaves who made it all possible. Well, slaves and the wooly mammoths who were broken-in and chained to help pull the giant stone blocks that make up the pyramid up the big ramps. It's a colossal scene that will open your eyes, even while not enjoying the film. Gee, even back then in 10,000 B.C. the ancient ancestors of modern day Arabs were busy capturing black Africans and using them as their slaves... just like today.




Why no one involved in the making of 10,000 B.C. thought to re-imagine what such an early civilization might have really been like (besides the catching of the manuk and the sorcerer who can see the future) is hard to understand when the outcome could have been so rich. How did they communicate? What language did they speak? How was their culture organized? What was family life like? Did they fight with other tribes? How did they conduct warfare? Did they cultivate their land? Was that even possible? These questions, and others, like when will they stop talking badly accented English!?, will fill your mind as you watch 10,000 B.C.

 


If you've seen BRAVEHEART, THE LORD OF THE RINGS Trilogy, or just about any Hollywood epic whose writers did their research on the writings of Joseph Campbell, you will know the story of the hero's journey. Burdened with an over-wrought typical Hollywood boy-girl story, and some great SpFx woolly mammoths, a giant saber tooth tiger, weird huge bird-like raptors that threaten D'leh and his followers, and pyramid-building early Egyptians with long pointy golden caps on the tips of each finger who are fond of capturing slaves, provide the only interest here as the SpFx are stunning and broadly reaching. Too bad the cinematography did not live up to its' promise.


Director Roland Emmerich has given us large-scale disaster SpFx epics like The Day After Tomorrow, and Independence Day, as well as The Patriot, The Thirteenth Floor, and he is in pre-pro on a remake of Fantastic Voyage set for release in 2010. Had the script been developed properly, instead of having the director and composer (Harald Kloser) doing the writing chores, perhaps the film would not be so horrendously boring and predictable. But when a film has 15 producers, with one of them being the director, it is too common to make these sorts of mistakes. And these mistakes are most apparent in the boring and overly-wordy script. Almost each time the actors speak the audience will feel a cringe factor in the wide array of modern-day accents.

10,000 B.C. was not screened for critics in advance of its' opening and that is always considered an early warning. When a film lists 15 producers on its' credits that is always cause for audience concern. The preponderance of producers and the critic no-screening policy together tell the audience how much the studio is behind the film. In the case of 10,000 B.C. it seems as if the film just fell through the cracks.


10,000 B.C. is a family-friendly film, especially if your youngest is not easily scared by big ancient animals and your oldest not scared by awful scripts with cliched dialog.  Intelligent design! Where are you when we really need you?

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Digital Dogs rating: B-

MPAA rating: PG-13 for sequences of intense action and violence.

Running Time: 109 minutes

Producers Roland Emmerich, Aaron Boyd, Mark Gordon, Michael Wimer, Oswald von Richthofen, Murray Francis, and many others, Director Roland Emmerich, Screenplay Roland Emmerich, Harald Kloser, Editor Alexander Berner, DP Ueli Steiger, Music Harald Kloser, Thomas Wanker (credited as Thomas Wander), Actors Steve Strait. Camilla Belle, Cliff Curtis, Joel Virgil, Mona Hammond, Omar Sharif (narrator)

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© 2008 by Digital Dogs

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--- Digital Dogs is gather's Los Angeles Movie Correspondent ---

Digital Dogs' column, HOLLYWOOD POV, published every Thursday to Gather Essentials: Movies is an insider's look at the art, people, and product of Hollywood.

Digital Dogs is an opinionated writer, editor, and digital designer who lives and works in the entertainment capital of the world. DigiDogs writes critiques, opinion pieces, and news stories that focus on the business, people, and places of Hollywood. DigiDogs' unique film reviews are usually written well before a film's release date, and definitely worth the advance look at the films that influence the world.

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