Forty percent of German soldiers are overweight, a news story this week revealed.
Given that ninety - seven percent of statistics are made up on the spur of the moment we should not take that figure too seriously. A quick glance at an alternative set of figures, those of German soldiers whose pictures appear on the web, tells us there is some cause for concern. Not only are the boys noticeably a tad portly they all seem to have a ciggy in one hand and a beer in the other.
This is not so unusual as the Germans are a surprisingly sensual nation and as likely as anyone to develop a little weakness they like to indulge. It is something of a national pastime and temptation is everywhere. While working in Luxembourg I developed a little weakness of my own. Her name was Gretchen and I loved to indulge her.
Being on the tubby side is not a great drawback for a soldier, a few surplus pounds can be very beneficial when stranded in hostile territory and having to live off the land. Also we must remember the German military are not called upon to do much fighting or running away which is a good thing because further investigation reveals ten per cent are clinically obese.
I love that phrase "clinically obese." It's like saying psychologists or evangelical preachers are "clinically sane."
Rheinhold Robbe, Defence Secretary in the German government refuses to criticise the troops blaming instead bureaucracy and bean counting.
"The soldiers do not move around enough," he said, "they spend too much time filling in forms, testing vehicle emissions and sorting rubbish for recycling."
Herr Robbe also said that budget constraints had led to a reduction in the quality of army food in recent years.
I advise Herr Robbe to think things through more carefully. Would it not make more sense to balance the budget by reducing the quantity of food rather than the quality?
Â
Relaxed Muscle, Gland Problems, Obese Or Just Plain Fat
Don't Feed Your Daughter Any More Mrs Lardarse
recommend
Facebook
Twitter
bookmark 
print
Comments: 30
Hmm, the French are well equipped these days. Perhaps they should stick to the usual warm up event, Poland.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUHVL8oDAZ4&feature=related
We British make fun of the US military because they are dumb and they shoot at their allies.
So we give them a break on weight issues. Fair's play.
That is way too intelligent a reply for my article.
But you are absolutely right.
But, Herr Flick, the Gestapo man who walked with a limp was very thin.
I tried to add a witty comment, but I'm not sure how to add one without being needlessly offensive; I'm just not knowledgeable enough on European humor.
Right and two racial stereotypes for the price of one. Fat Germans are jolly and amusing, thin Germans are sadistic torturers intent on stealing the fallen madonna with the big boobies.
That will confuse everyone except us :D
German, Dutch and French humour is very lavatorial, Spanish, Portugese and Italian humour is very ireverrent. And British humour is..........well British humour :-)
TYPICAL Murray joke.
I was at the Olympic games, I saw a guy carrying a ten foot long fibreglass tube. I said excuse me are you a pole vaulter.
He said: No, I am German, but how are you knowing my name is Valter.
I agree, what's the problem because they don't have anyone to fight, anyway?
Maybe they should rotate their fighting men and women into a war zone for six months, get loaded up with PTSD, and the ensuring alcoholism, drug abuse and stress with knock those pounds right off.
I agree with Lisa but its much too good a comment for an article like this.
(Today's is even more off the wall)
Germany is very wary of fighting now. After all we British might turn up on the opposing side. And we won the two previous matches as we never tire of reminding them.
Yep, the old goose-stepping keeps that cellulite off.
You're learning very quickly I have to say, well done.
It's not working so well with the Bush geese.
Loved early Billy Connolly, before he was hollywoodised and Pamela-ised!
I would like to point out that the only reason people are fat is because of the food they choose to eat. Poor people in the past ate beans, eggs and greens and limited the amount of starches on the whole...it all comes down to preparing your food at home or getting most of your food already prepared from cheap, bad food restaurants. I don't see a whole lot of well-to-do looking folks standing in line at McDonald's, or KFC.
Granted, meat is expensive. I grew up in a family of five who had very little money at all, but none of us were fat. We ate healthy food, but certainly not red meat or expensive veggies.
I would recommend watching "You Are What You Eat", a wonderful show provided us by BBC.....the nutritionist is straight-forward and blunt....and has told off many of parent about turning their kids into fat little blobs based on the fallacy of not having enough money. She shows them that they can eat very healthy meals on half the cost of what they currently spend by cutting out the cheap, unhealthy take-outs and all. And she tells them that this is just an excuse for being lazy about preparing good food themselves.
Sorry - this may sound like I'm being heartless, but I know from personal experience that you can eat very healthy on a very tight budget. And that a lot of obese, poor people probably spend more on their food bills than necessary.....mostly due to processed, packaged, easy foods, rather than spending some time to prepare healthy, low-cost foods.
I was not going to mention it, but I think people are not fat because they are poor but are poor because they are fat. Junk food may seem cheap compared with a restaurant meal but my wife or I can make a delicious pasta with tomato sauce or a vegetarian curry or chilli for pennies, and with more nutrition than a ready meal.
It is not economy for us but healthy eating. A "no meat or dairy" day a couple of times a week is a good way to keep things balanced so we can do the salmon or steak when we fel like it.
The problem comes back to social policies that have disrupted the patterns of family and community life and to governments pandering to the wants of big business rather than prioritising the needs of the people who elected them.
I though the Bush gang were fat cats, not fois gras material :-)
Lavatorial? My brother's 3 year old daughter (family lives in Germany) received a book and a CD about a character in search of who sh*t on his head. He wants to find the doer and do the same to him.
Sheryl O., another reason a lot of poor people don't eat healthily is they usually don't live near stores where they can get healthy, fresh food. A lot of them have to find transportation too. I always tell folk to try to find a food co-op to join and to shop with others who have transportation and go in on the gas.
also, who do you think the fast food stores are catering to with their $1 hamburgers and such?
Will you p.m. me please and tell me about Co-ops in the U.S. Sandy K and I discussed an for a Gather supergroup that, the more I think about it, the more I feel sure it has wings.