1. If you are going to wear pants that are too tight and show half your ass-and you think you look cool- DON'T work in a restarount. To the young man who works at Applebees: You are not at all attractive, I would never let my daughter date you, and I am sure your manager will be happy to find that I will no longer frequent his restaraunt because he hires people who dress like you do.
2. Don't tell me that my lovely, talented 8 year old son is going to be gay. First of all, it is none of your business. Second, why does loving to dance and being able to do the splits an indicator of homosexuality? Third, you are probably a racist as well, so if he does grow up to be gay, I hope he marries a black man. You will have front row seat at the wedding, where those of us with larger minds AND hearts will be cheering them on. Fourth, why does it freaking matter?
3. If you are a checker at a grocery store, don't snap your gum like Flo from Alice. Not only is the sounds extremely disgusting, but also, I don't want to see that three of your remaining five teeth are gold. Really.
4. If you call my house and I check the caller ID and actually consent to answer it, don't respond to my "hello" with "Who is this?" If you choose to do so, don't be offended if I hang up, ask why you are calling if you don't know who you are trying to call, or say, "Who the fuck do you think it is?"
5. If you are a receptionist in an office, don't talk on your cell phone while you are answering the real phone AND trying to talk to me. Tell the friend you are talking to to cal lyou back, or better yet, leave the phone in the car and do your job. Oh, I also don't want to hear about how wasted you got at last night's party, or hear that your girlfriend might be pregnant. Again, do your job.
Can you all tell I am a little bit testy about a few things these days?
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Comments: 10
I really hate the teenage girls who wear the hip-huggers with the v-string hanging out. I mean really if I wanted to know what color your underwear was I would ask you. It is not attractive, and you will not get the kind of attention you want.
I love your rants, keep it up!
Two of my good friends met as theater actors in college; they were part of the very small percentage in their class that WASN'T gay. They just had their third child, and the young man is going to seminary while his wife is heavily involved in the church programs at his conservative Methodist school. She used to complain all the time about how quickly people jump to conclusions. Her best friend in childhood died of brain cancer around 18, I think it was... and my friend used to shave her head every year on her friend's birthday, to help her feel better about not being able to grow hair due to the chemotherapy. (This was before we met.) She said the looks and comments people would give her were really out of line, especially when thinking that her friend had to deal with this every day through no choice of her own. People just assumed she was a lesbian; guys who dated her before her husband thought she must be into S&M. It's funny how wrong people can be.
There was a guy wearing tight pants hanging off his butt? GROSS!!!! EEEUUUUWWWW!!!
Good day to you!