Yesterday,I wrote about a former friend of my daughter saying she was going to get cruncked (crazy drunk). This girl lives across the street from us. This morning as I was waiting for my daughter to get ready to go out,I saw a teen age boy come out of their house and get in the mother's suv. He didn't drive anywhere,just sat there for a few minutes with the motor running and then went back in. I thought maybe he was a friend or relative and was warming it up for her and didn't think anything more of it.
This afternoon, my daughter comes and tells me she wants to show me something. This girl has posted pictures of a drinking party that she had last night at her house. I know the house very well and it is definitely their furniture and kitchen. There are pictures of kids drinking beer from a blender and other pictures of them drinking.
Now I am positive the parents have not been home as their van has not been in their driveway since Friday morning and later this afternoon, her grandmother showed up and she got into her car with a duffel bag.
She is 17 so she is underage and now I can say I am pretty certain that she had a drinking party and a boy at her house all night.
So,do I tell her mother. I told my daughter to keep her ears open at the bus stop on Monday and see if she hears anything. I thought I could just chat with the mother about just my concerns about drugs and alcohol in general and try to get a feel as to whether she has any clue as to what is going on. There is a part of me that says mind your business. They'll find out sooner or later. And there's another part of me that says if anything happens and you didn't say anything, you'll regret it. I just don't want my daughter to suffer any repercussions from the other kids if I open my big mouth to the mother. I actually wish they had been loud and rowdy or thrown beer bottles all over my lawn so I could have just called the cops. That would have been a lot easier to have them handle it. Just don't know what to do.
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Comments: 27
My sister had a party when my parents were out of town - the upstairs bathroom sink ended up in the front yard (and through the picture window), the ficus and the pool table were both beered, and a car my sister borrowed for a run somehow ended up driven through a barbed wire fence...
My exstepmom pressed charges, including: underage drinking, selling liquor without a license, selling liquor to minors, criminal trespass and destruction of property...
another way that it could go...
Second, I would make it clear to your daughter that it is your duty to tell this mother what is going on. Under aged drinking is not only illegal, but potentially fatal. There could be alcohol poisoning, stupid happenings due to being drunk at a party such as rape, not to mention drinking and driving.
I would copy/paste the pictures from the neighbor-teen's facebook to your hard drive to insure you have proof to show the neighbor-mother should the teen decide to change the website before Mom sees.
I would take the mother into confidence w/o making a scene in front of others and try not to put on an attacking tone.
Should mother not care or brush it off, I would then call the cops the next time a party happens. Have the cops break it up.
If something were to happen to any of those children, I know I would feel morally responsible if I hadn't have tried.
you can only control your own daughter and if you can, that is a heck of a job
i would say take care of your own, i think that is a tough enough job these days..
make sure your daughter knows the rules and limits
honestly, anyone leaving a teenager unsupervised should expect a nasty surprise
It's something to really think about and put yourself in her shoes.
The biggest partier that I went to school with was an alcoholic (probably by the end of senior year if not sooner). His parents would even by him the kegs for his parties. He ended up deciding to sober up, met his wife in rehab... it was a tragic life. She ended up back in the bottle, he told her to straighten up or he would leave her (a responsible thing for an alcoholic), and came home from work the next day to find her suicided.
It's a terrible things when parents won't protect their own children. I hope you find a good way to bring this up to your neighbor.