Dialogue is an important part of defining your characters and moving your story along. How do you handle dialogue in your work and how do you make it sound real?
For me, dialogue comes pretty easy. I essentially hear it in my head and write down what the characters are saying as they say it. Sometimes I'll engage in conversations with the characters and capture that.
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Richard: Poems -- good. "Luting" pun -- bad. (But in a good way.)
That's all for today, folks!
I'm sure that's why all my characters sound like me.
Of course, having multiple personalities gives me some semblance of actual character diversity.
Upgrade, smupgrade.
"Captain Murphy is inside. Please try not to touch anything, we're dusting for prints."
Well, duh, Webster thought. "Of course," he said. "I was number three in my class at Quantico. Okay?"
The sergeant raised his eyebrows in curiosity. "Sorry, Number Three, just watch yourself."
The sergeant opened the front door and ushered Webster through. As Webster entered the house he could see the strobe lights flashing as the photographers documented a room down the hall.
"Murphy, where are you, Murphy?" the sergeant called out.
Murphy was medium-height and slightly-built. She was a plain-looking woman with freckles on her wide face. She looked like a Midwest farm girl, but she dressed business-suave in a tan cashmere jacket, floppy silk tie, brown wool skirt, and white stockings. Her shoes were polished brown mirrors. Her dark hair was pulled back into a bun and she had rimless glasses hanging from a chain around her neck. Another chain held her identification. She was about 35, neat, with light makeup. Not a hair was out of place.
"I'm Murphy. What the f***, over?"
"This is Number Three," the sergeant said.
"Orrin Webster," he said with irritation as he handed over his ID card.
Murphy looked his card over carefully, twisting it under the light to see the hologram.
"What's this Number Three stuff?" Murphy asked the sergeant.
"He said he was Number Three at Quantico."
"Is that right?" Murphy said quizzically.
"Yes," Webster said proudly, "I was third out of a class of one hundred and thirty."
"No, I meant, did you really tell him that? And why? Oh, never mind."
- Ken Coffman, Alligator Alley
Matt, on dialogue, I try to know enough about the characters so that I can have them speak naturally in their own voices. I've been given the tip to try speaking it aloud and that is a good one. If it doesn't flow off the tongue, it will likely be hard for the reader as well.
Pat, let's not be so quick to assume all men will ignore everything in the surroundings. You can read any of my work for an alternative view. On the other hand, he will notice what is packed within the dress.
Jamie, I was just reading some comments from a veteran writer who had just written a play and really liked just doing dialogue. He said by contrast, in his novels, he ended up putting most of his effort into creating worlds that had enough depth to feel real.
I like reading dialogue too. I often skim long paragraphs of description in novels. It puts me right to sleep if I don't.
Jamie, in April they're having the script writing equivalent of Nano. You should give that a shot. All dialogue, little action. You may have an untapped talent.
James, yes, some men do notice details and descriptions. Witness Number Three's description of the female character. But really, what color is the carpet in that room? Was the door wood or steel or have stained glass sidelights? What color are the walls?
All we know is that Murphy has made some unfortunate wardrobe choices.
Murphy slumped. She spoke into the table top.
"Love. I feel. So. Much. I've been shot. I've fallen off a horse. I've been hit square in the head with a line-drive baseball. Take all that pain, roll it up, multiply it by the square of all the hurt in the world, it still won't ache as bad. As. I. Feel. Right here." Murphy pointed at her chest.
"Come on, tough guy," Webster laughed nervously. "It can't be that bad."
Murphy looked up. She had a mad look and her eyes refused to focus.
"You don't have a f***ing clue," she said. She cast her eyes around looking for something. Her glance fell on the silverware. She picked up a fork and stood it up on the table.
"I'm going to stab this thing into my hand until the pain matches what I feel in my heart," she said.
Webster stood up and tipped his chair over.
"My god," he said. "I'm going to be sick."
Murphy closed her eyes tightly and placed her right hand on the fork. The muscles of her forearm bunched and writhed.
"Murphy," Elke said softly. "Murphy," she repeated.
She slowly removed the fork from Murphy's grasp.
"Things are going to work out fine," she said gently.
"Do you promise?" Murphy said.
Elke poured tequila on the four pinpricks of blood welling from Murphy's palm and clenched her fist around a napkin.
"I promise," she said quietly.
If that makes any sense I'll be amazed tomorrow. I've done 6 loads of laundry, watched 5 kids (neighbors/relatives/my own), cleaned up one of the messiest kitchens ever, edited 20 pages, judged a beginner's contest entry (and I try not to demoralize them with the words, since all the red type might do that, so it's extra work), helped with homework... I need a break from the break.
Night 'bats!
"I've found it helps to let the characters tell their story, then build the world around them."
Of course, in an SF novel, it might work differently, where the different world may have a profound impact on how the characters develop.
In a character driven novel, the approach you describe makes plenty of sense. You may now take a rest!
Okay, I'm LMAO over here in NE.
Gina -- he smiled, she shruggeds don't bother me when I'm reading. That's probably why I include way too many of them in my writing as well.
Time to sleep; work returns tomorrow morning.
"Then dont say anything. For a change"
"That was mean"
"Sorry"
"No, you're not"
"Listen, lets just stick to the point, shall we. Do we like to do dialog or not?"
"Yeah, I guess"
"So there you are then. Its settled. Now, pass the crumpets."
Vampires by Jaux King
The Fire You Can't Put Out
The Fire You Can't Put Out is to one entered in the First Tracks contest, I think. It has a softer sound than Vampire. Anyway, I don't know this guy, but I think he's really talented, so if you're so inclined, offer him some support and a vote. I want him to get a record deal so I can buy his album. :-) *total fan girl over here
My first novel overflowed with creative dialogue tags. When someone complimented me on my creativity along those lines, I knew I was in trouble. I changed to said and asked for most, but also left off as many as I could.
Good topic, Matt.
JK is revealing herself? When, when?
First day of work tomorrow. Funny thing is, I'm not at all worried about work. I'm worried about how the heck to get two kids ready for school and out the door before 7AM. We did a dry run today - net result - they were out the door at 8AM. That's BAAAAAD!
"Thanks Simon, but luck is not the issue. Once the kids are gone the res is cake"
"Hey Jamie, how about some chicken and dumplings over my way"
"Oh, sure Simon, sorry, I didnt see you there. Here you go"
"Wow, and you cook too??!!"
I think I need to go to bed.
"yup"
"Oh"
"Did I say that?"
"Yeah, up there in your earlier post, but if you want chicken and dumplings, chicken and dumplings you shall have."
"That's more like it."
"I aim to please."
"pssssssssssssst"
"What waas that? speak up, I coulndt hear you."
"PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST"
"Oh, yeah. Well good night everyone, Im off to bed."
I've noticed that once I'm in the groove of writing dialogue, things happen at a very fast pace. Sometimes too fast--I have to end the conversation before too much is revealed.
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"
"I guess he's already asleep."
"I aim to please."
"And he talks in his sleep, too. Good night, Wombats."
J.K., I'm still waiting for your photo unveiling. I haven't even turned my camera on today. Someday I'll post a vacuuming video. If you're very, very unlucky.
Have a great first day on the job! That's always exciting.
JK, you can't get out of it that easily. Show yourself! Please.
\bites tongue.
I've been told (by wombats) that my dialogue is strong. It's my favorite part of writing. Judi what you expressed made perfect sense to me. I run with the dialogue and then go back and flesh the rest out. Or should I say I channel the dialogue? I hear the entire conversation in my head as I write it.
Joy I'm with you punctuation and formatting are a PITA.
J.K. you can't tease us like that!
Good Luck tomorrow J.C. (((((good vibes)))))))) When I had to be work by 8, I was up at 5 to get us ready and out the door. Not so nice, but I wasn't late.
Good Night Neverland
JK, I'm so glad I didn't miss the unveiling.
Jamie, thanks for the links. I've been looking for the entries but couldn't find them. I'll need to start listening now if I'm going to vote in March.
A cold front come in last night. Temperatures went down in the 50's last night. "Ow! Stop throwing those snowballs at me!" See? my dialogue stinks. hehe.
"Good morning, Judi!" the group exclaimed.
"Byyyyyyyyyyyyyeeee! Accccccccck!" A business suit blurred out the door.
"I think that was JC running late," conjectured a mugshot-challenged redhead.
"Yeah, but the kids are worth it," chirrupped Wendy, happily.
"Tell that to the boss on the first day," barked Jamie's dog, hiding another tidbit.
**how NOT to do dialogue tags**
"Shouldn't you be working at work?" June asked in a perplexed voice through the white paw covering her cute, kittycat-like face.
"Oh, I'm working," Jamie assured her, pretending to sort the stack of papers on her desk.
"If you say so," June muttered, not looking convinced.
"Well, I really do need to get some stuff done," Jamie admitted begrudgingly. "Have a fine Tuesday, Wombats. At least it's not Monday, though it feels that way to me." Holidays are wonderful, Jamie thinks nostagically as she logs off gather.
Judi, there are times I start with just the dialogue as well. My Wombat Valentine's day entry started as mostly dialogue.
(No, Abby did not write that. It was all mine).
As I mentioned, I'm swamped. My father's coming tomorrow and I've got some preparations still to attend to, but I wanted to let you know: The Raider's Wife is one of the Top 100 Semi-Finalists over at Amazon, as is John Ring's Wrecking Civilization Before Lunch!
Gah. I need about 36 hours in this day, but I don't suppose I'll get them. Still checking the categories to see if any other Gatherers made it.
Cathy
Cathy
"Matt, we're enjoying the thread immensly," June said while purring.
"Where'd that merman go?" Judi asked peering around the corner.
Good morning, Wombatini!
Cathy, way you go girl!!!
Dialogue? Love writin' it, love readin' it. As many have already said, I "hear" my characters. Snippets of dialogue run through my head at the very start of a novel. Sometimes those snippets won't even appear until chapter twelve, but are just sitting there waiting for me to catch up.
June, our posts will make no sense if you change your icon. Future lurkers will wonder what the heck we are talking about. :-) "Why she's a perfectly lovely woman. What are they talking about... kittycat??... The NOIVE!"
June, thanks for the pointer my song, Irish Man. I'll likely make some small changes to it before posting to First Tracks. This is mainly for early feedback and listening.
JC, good luck in the first day at work.
Dave, how is your return to the workforce going?
Simon, welcome back.
"Hoooray Cathy!!!" And then a thought strikes him.
"Hey JK, where is your new photo already? We were promised." Sulking away, he prepares to once more depart the big city for the much smaller one, hoping that his fellow Wombats are not yet bored and disgusted with his terrible parodies of really really bad writing, and that they dont start to think that this is how he actually does in fact, write for real. "Oh well, if they really want to know they can get my book" he thinks, and then realizes, no thats not a great idea. Oh well, f*** it.
Till tomorrow Wombats, if not later. I fully expect to see the real JK upon my return.
Please don't expect me to converse in dialogue. My brain is too fried.
James, loved your song. For those who haven't heard it yet, give it a listen.
JC, good luck with the job (yeah, I remember when I used to be excited about work too. Sigh.)
Great work on the song, James. Wish I could be more help. I had a hard time headbanging to it. *that's a joke So many multi-talented wombats.
Dialog...well, I used to write screenplay stuff, so I like to think I'm pretty good at it. I have a lot of fun with characters' voices. I really do think them in my head and they start talking.
Er, that's normal, right?
Cathy
(Thanks, Lisa.)
Cathy
I'll update the list. Any other wombats make the cut? I'm so excited for you!
The Spring cleaning bug has bit, and I must clean.. off with me. If I'm not back by tomorrow send a search party. ; 0 )
Your Dialogue is crisp, and clean and no caffeine...Good job!
G.M Lupo...I agree.
Today is my Gather anniversary. If you'd like a piece of Anniversary Cake...
Also, I think some of you might enjoy From Father to Son.
JK, are you going for something other than a bright-orange shock of semi-mohawkity this time? Looking forward to seeing the real you.
And after a 2 and a half week vacation from editing, I'm over my slump and back on the job. Prepare theyselves for much whining.
Looks like I'm out of practice on the editing.
YAY CATHY!!!!!!!!!!
and yay Pat's friend Kim - anyone else? Do they have a list somewhere?
Jamie--I just heard the same thing that no romance made it. Guess the publisher isn't looking for romance right now :-( I know of one chicklit/women's fiction entry that made the top 100. I also heard most of the finalists were literary fiction, but I can't vouch for that statement since I haven't checked it out myself.
I guess I'm not the only one who noticed there were no romance. I saw a conspiracy thread over on Amazon. Kinda reminds me of a Gather controversy. I'm just so excited for Cathy. YAY, Cathy!!
By the way Judi, I keep forgetting to mention I got my copy of A Big Book of Filth. Laughed myself silly! Especially since I discovered that in the 1830's a Jezebel was an alternate name for a man's member, and my villain keeps referring to the heroine as a Jezebel! I may have to rethink that.
Jamie, thanks for stopping by to listen to my song. The head banging might work better on some of my other harder rock stuff. :-)
Pat, glad you liked the song. It's grown on me in the years since I wrote it.
Curious that Romance got snubbed in the Amazon contest. I developed a healthy respect for the genre through my FCR experience. As we saw in that contest, Romance can cut a rather broad swatch of different possibilities, as evidenced by the diversity of the wombat FCR entries.
JK, yes, now you've got us waiting.
Beth, happy Gather anniversary. Mine must be coming up soon (just checked --- it was Feb 11th, -8 days ago). When did you submit your FC1 entry? Mine got posted on Feb 27th.
From there, I found the list of finalists and the discussion boards. Todd seemed to get really good reviews, but evidently was not on the final 100 list. Looks like the outside world gets to write reviews for a couple more weeks.
J. Corn, I would like the link. I've often thought because dialogue is one of my stronger elements maybe I should be writing screenplays and have missed my calling. But I don't even know that I've ever seen a screenplay in writing, and know nothing about formatting.
Amazon--Glad we get to help Cathy move forward. Cathy, don't let us forget. When do we begin commenting?
Gina, how are things moving for you? Everything in place for the first book or are you still tweaking? What about the story we read in FCRomance? How's that one coming along?
I was checking some of my early connections. Twelve out of my first 18 are Wombats. And this was before wombats existed. At least I think so. While I was there, I checked on Rand and Ty. Rand last logged in on the 10th. Ty was here a few days ago. Hi, guys! Hope all is well with you.
Hi to all the lurkers, too. Please drop in and say hello.