It's not enough for the Church to resurrect the Latin Mass from 1962. It's not enough for priests who weren't even born ten years after Vatican II to nostalgically don priestly vestments that haven't been worn for forty years like the amice and cincture. Reaching even further back in time, the Church is also seeing a resurgence of interest in Exorcism. Watch out for Linda Blair and a veritable tide of pea soup.
According to the Washington Post, ground zero for the exorcism explosion is Poland. Rev. Andrzej Trojanowski (a name that for me conjures up a hot, dumb, blond-haired, blue-eyed offensive lineman who practices safe sex) is building a spiritual center to "aid the growing number of Poles possessed by evil forces or the Devil Himself."
This was the first I had heard of this particular Polish epidemic. But it turns out there is an annual International Congress of Exorcists, 300 ongoing live exorcisms in Italy on any given day. The Vatican's chief exorcist – a staunch opponent of, among other things, Harry Potter – apparently battles demons on a daily basis. And Pope B16 is said to be accelerating training for priests who want to do battle with Satan.
Who are good candidates for exorcism? "People who . . . embrace New Age therapies … Internet addicts and yoga devotees." Also cited is a wife who developed a passionate hatred for her husband. (If that latter one is a criterion for possession, B16 better train the entire priesthood in the exorcism rite, because there will be no shortage of work to do.)
My condom-safe friend Trojanowski plans the Betty Ford Clinic of evil. "People could check in for a few days and receive ministrations." Apparently, he has the Archbishop's blessing.
God bless the kookery! (And bring me a soup spoon.)
UnHoly Wine of the Week (The Stuff You Wished Your Parish Priest Would Consecrate): 2002 Porter Creek Syrah Timbervine Ranch: dark understated fruit without typical CA jamminess or chocolate notes. High alcohol but well-balanced. Long, complex finish with a powerful peppery mid-palette. Elegant for a syrah. Some spice, some olive, with a hearty dollop of Viognier added. For more UnHoly Wines, go here.
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