Member since:
August 21, 2007

Namaste'

February 07, 2008 10:00 AM EST

views: 132 | rating: 10/10 (27 votes) | comments: 29

While talking to a friend yesterday, the subject of relationships came up. She is one whom people come to for advice regarding relationships. I thought that for single people, having a relationship is in the majority of cases the number one priority. When they think of law of attraction they think how can I attract my perfect mate. On the other hand, for so many with a mate, they are thinking how do I end this relationship – not always, but according to the divorce rate, a goodly number are thinking this. There are different estimates, but one survey puts the rate for divorce at 50% for first time marriages, 67% for second marriages, and 74% for third marriages. *

Although, we say we want this or that in a mate, we are unconsciously drawn to something different, or rather something familiar…. our parents. So many of us are drawn to either the good or bad characteristics of one or both parents. On one level we end up marrying our parents as a blind re-creation to complete something or to overcompensate for something we didn't get in those tender growing up years.

I met my first husband in college. I was both drawn to him and repelled by him. I knew from the start that he was a younger version of my father. Before I even knew the term karma I somehow felt karmically destined to him. I will refer to it as a twenty-four year learning process rather than a twenty-four year struggle. I can't say I passed or flunked; but that I was given an incomplete would more accurately describe it.

I look at earth as a giant school. I have reoccurring dreams of being in class. So often I have dreams of just wandering around the school, not knowing what classes I even signed up for.

I spent three years being single. That course, in retrospect, I believe I passed. There were hurdles, dark nights of the soul, and some cleansing processes that came up along the way, which opened the spiritual door a little wider. Cobwebs were cleared. Some veils were lifted. This period of time I definitely would not trade. I saw it as a growing experience, a chance to begin seeing myself for whom I truly might be, or rather for who I truly was underneath all the delusion.

Maybe it was because I proved to be a remedial sort of student or perhaps they took pity on me, but I like to think the heavenly guides or angels over seeing my earth lessons turned around and said we will give you an easier course, an elective of your choice, so to speak. I met my now husband.

I went into this relationship on a different level. It took half a century for me to come to the realization that there was really only one relationship…. my relationship with God. I saw the man beside me as a gift, a reflection of God. When I look into his eyes I see the divine spark within. I now look back on my first marriage and my relationship with my father and see many instances of the divine spark, when I can successfully peel back the many layers of my faulty perceptions. I am still working on that incomplete.

Namaste'-"The Divinity within me perceives and adores the Divinity within you." This, I conclude is the only way to truly have any kind of successful relationship.

*According to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.

Tags: learning, marriage, karma, divine, god, life, lessons, namaste39, love, valenine39s day, school, spirituality

To Groups: !!! GatherWriMo - Gather's National Novel Writing Month Group !!!, !!!!KARMA ~ Whatever Goes Around Comes Around!!!!, *Inspiration Station*, .....The Bloggers Review....., .....The Educators Review....., .....The Writers Review....., 2008 Resolutions, A creative mission for 2009, A Woman's life, Blue Mondays (Positive Posts), Chronicles of Life, Come Journey With Me, Divinely Designed, Ethics and Life, First Time Writers., For a better living.Spiritual - True soul of India!On God and saints.Meditation and yoga., God, I Am Grateful, I JUST WANT TO WRITE, Life, the Universe and Everything, Our Soul Journey, PEACE CANDLES, Post anything from your life! I mean ANYTHING!!!~, Random Musings, Simply Divine, Spiritual Living, Spirituality Explorers, SYNCHRONICITIES -, Synchronicity's Sweet Tea Cafe, The Dharmic Gathering, The Reader's Lounge, Toward a Cooperative World, Truth Seekers, Under the Sun :), Valentines Day09, Writer's Critiques, Writing for Inner Peace, ~Writing from the Heart~

rate

link to this page

Bookmark this post:

Comments: 29

Larry M. Feb 7, 2008, 10:09am EST

On a practical level, never marry anyone in whom you have found a flaw, that is, who has a characteristic that annoys or worrys you. It is the defects in our spouses that causes divorce, not the lack of virtues in them.

On a practical level, whenever your spouse has a problem / is unhappy, the only acceptable response is an expression of sympathy accompanied by a sincere offer to *help* them as they solve the problem. You can't solve it for them. Any other response sends the wrong message. (This also works on children who have problems.)

Namaste'

Comments: 29

Join the Conversation

You might also like

More by ChrisJerri S.