Quick Weight Loss Program

I have been working really hard to lose weight over the past couple of years, but from the end of October through the middle of January, I fell off track a bit...okay, a lot. I didn't gain any weight, but I didn't lose any weight either.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have finally gotten back on track. I have returned to my healthy eating habits, and have worked out regularly. The first week I didn't lose any weight. Last week I felt like I had lost a little, and I was anxious for Saturday to come, as that is my official, self-imposed weigh-in day.

And then, early Friday morning, it happened. I started my quick weight-loss program just in time for my Saturday weigh-in. I came down with either the stomach flu or food poisoning. Yipee!!! After flushing away everything I had eaten on Thursday, I continued the quick weight-loss program by consuming a measly four soda crackers throughout the day on Friday, with a lovely dessert of lightly sweetened tea. Aw, the joy of forced starvation.

I stepped on the scale Saturday morning to find I had lost four glorious pounds, putting me within one pound of my final goal. In addition, I lost 1/2 inch in both my stomach and my hips, and over 1/4 inch in my thighs. It may be time to buy new pants again.

While I don't recommend this quick weight-loss program to anyone (I would rather work out all day than lose my lunch all day), it does have it's merits. Now we will just have to see if the weight stays off. Afterall, you all know how these fad diets go...you usually gain back more than you lose. I guess I'll have to return to my old healthy eating habits just to be on the safe side.

Follow-up Note: Just to let everyone know, this article was written just to be FUNNY.  I am quite aware that I will probably gain the weight back (thus the comment about "fad" diets never working...haha). I am not dieting, I am just eating healthy. I have cut out most sugars because I am 2/3 of the way to becoming diabetic, and don't want to get all the way there. I switched to whole grains to help naturally regulate my cholesterol, and have been eating lots of fruits and vegetables because they are good for me (And I like them). I try to eat leaner meats (chicken breast, buffalo, fish) and to stay away from rich foods because they aggravate another health symptom that I have. I have healthy snacks throughout the day (non-fat cottage cheese, soy crisps, banana, soy nuts, etc). I let myself have something sweet on Sundays, just because I want to, but if I ate sweets everyday, I would feel sick from it. I am never hungry, but all this healthy eating, plus regular exercise (also necessary for my health at my age) has had the added benefit of making me lose weight. All of this has been discussed with, and agreed upon by my doctor. I want to continue to eat in this healthy manner, because I FEEL better, health-wise, and I have a lot more energy. I hope the total 40 lbs I have lost over the last two years will stay off, but even if it doesn't, I still plan to continue with the healthier eating. My total weight loss has not been due to a fad, get-thin-quick diet, but to a lifestyle change that took the weight off slowly.