by Patricia F.
Member since:
May 7, 2006

Ocean Born

February 03, 2008 02:53 PM EST (Updated: February 06, 2008 04:56 PM EST)
views: 41 | rating: 10/10 (9 votes) | comments: 12
 

I inhale the smell

Incense to my soul.

The waves

Like charging tigers

Roar forward.

Then retreat.

Tigers melting

Into a sizzling, frothy, foamy meringue-

Right here at my feet!

My toes, my arches sink

Into fine silt.

And I stand here

Aglow

Like a starlet

At Graumann's Chinese.
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Comments: 12

flit . Feb 3, 2008, 3:11pm EST
beautiful. Love the use of the ! .... adds so much wonder to the poem... not only at the beauty and power of the surroundings, but that the narrator is amazed to have the priviledge to be there... opens a whole new dimension... makes me wonder why not you ... if that makes any sense...
Patricia F. Feb 3, 2008, 3:14pm EST
Cool point, "Why not you?...." Thanks, Flit!
Beaker (just Beaker) Feb 3, 2008, 4:04pm EST
Nicely, effectively captures the feeling of standing in the surf. Good job.
Tom C. Feb 3, 2008, 4:04pm EST
Patricia - this is really good, a warmth and belonging that emanates from your connection to the shore. And the smell, the incense, the aroma of the sea is intoxicating and utterly distinctive. Thanks for transporting me to the beaches of my youth.
Kimberly Ripley Feb 3, 2008, 5:28pm EST
A brilliant mix of fantasy and reality. I like it!
MaryBeth W. Feb 3, 2008, 6:59pm EST
Now I can't wait for summer, I want to stand in the sand! Very nice.
Patricia F. Feb 3, 2008, 10:49pm EST
Thanks, ALL!
Michele Scercy Feb 4, 2008, 8:38am EST
Very nice.
Cameron B. Feb 6, 2008, 5:51am EST
Great poem!
Marta Stephens Feb 8, 2008, 10:11pm EST
Pat, what an amazing use of words! I could smell the salty air -- really. My favorite line though ...

"And I stand here
Aglow
Like a starlet
At Graumann's Chinese."

Just beautiful! :)
Mariana T. Apr 28, 2008, 1:12pm EDT
Miz Patricia, this was lovely - and yes, I can relate to those feet in the sand!! I don't know how I managed to miss this one or any of the others! Thanks. Salud.
Patricia F. Apr 28, 2008, 1:25pm EDT
Thank you! I envy you, you know I do, those feet in the sand! Wiggle your toes and think of me next time!Please?

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