MY State Of The Union Men-oh-pause

Excuse me because I'm sort of flipping out today. Maybe I'm experiencing SAD because WINTER SUCKS! Is there any nice way to say I absolutely detest these 4-letter words: Cold, snow, Bush. They're synonyms of all that is dreary. Last week my friend had the audacity to ask me to go skiing with her and some friends! I told her that skiing was for people with mental problems and she got offended. Imagine that?! I know she voted for Bush (and regrets this), but why is she being so politically correct about cold snow and the possibility of hugging a tree at high speed? I saw her yesterday and she was limping and has a nasty bruise on her forehead. I guess she was over being offended because she told me how much fun her ski trip was. I felt concern about her limp and bruise and asked her if this had happened during mud wrestling. She looked at me like I was crazy. She told me she had had a freak accident. She had slipped getting off the ski lift and that she had hit her head on the edge of the ski lift chair. Sounds like fun to me.

I was rather bored last night, so I watched the commentary about the State of The Union speech. All the commentators were saying it was dull and boring and I started yawning when I heard Chris Matthews say something about Bush eating a lame Beijing duck. I was wondering if Bush had taken his cruel anti-environmental policies to a lower level by having his chef cull a wounded duck from the Potomac. I also thought about the possibility of his vice penguin shooting at a friend and accidentally wounding a duck. I was expecting to see Rachel Ray and Wolfgang Puck in the Hollywood Squares they put on the screen for commentators, but all I saw were the regular talking heads. The way they were talking about Bush's speech made me wonder if he had taking a sleeping pill after his duck that he had eaten before this speech. Now, I'm no defender of our worst president in history and feel nothing but disgust towards the deceitful and secretive policies of our Liar in Chief, yet when they showed clips of his speech, he looked like he had maybe one too many cups of coffee and was bright and bushy tailed.

Yes, the Master of Disaster sounded like a broken record spinning the same old tune, but Boy George, his voice had passion and amazingly he made no grammar mistakes. The lack of grammar mistakes must have been caused by the nutrients in the lame Beijing duck. What bothered me was not the tired failed policies of Bush 'The Inept' in this speech, but the commentators trying to convince me he had taken a sleeping pill. I actually thought, not for content but for delivery, that it was a very good speech. I think he deserves kudos and reinstatement into the National Guard so he can wow us with his flying skills in Iraq and become a war hero like his daddy. Yes, Bush would have to resign to do this, but I and 70% of the American people certainly would not object to this scenario. Just think of Bush personally bombing our enemies, or innocent civilians, with the embedded reporter Dan Rather as his co-pilot. Well enough of this dream. The talking heads showed a picture they said was Obama turning his back on Hillary. I don't think so. What I discovered was that Obama had gotten a call from John Edwards exactly at that moment and Obama was reaching into his pocket to get his cell and turned his back for some privacy. Edwards wanted the phone number of Obama's barber, since his barber had raised his haircut prices. The talking heads tried to influence me that Obama had snubbed Hillary, but I know what I saw and heard.