The nexttime someone asks you a dumb question, wouldn't you like to respondlike this?.....
Yesterday Iwas buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the dog at Wal-Mart andwas about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Whatdid she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little todo, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I wasstarting the Purina Diet again.
I continuedby telling her that I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in thehospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in anintensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices andIVs in both arms.
I told herthat it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it worksis to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one ortwo every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionallycomplete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here thatpractically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified ,she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisonedme. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's assand a car hit us both.
I thoughtthe guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing sohard!
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