COW TRACKING

Is it just me or does anyone else find it absolutely

amazing that the U.S government can track a cow

born in Canada almost three years ago,right to the

stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington,

and determine exactly what that cow ate. They can

also track her calves right to their stalls, and tell you

what kind of feed they ate. But they are unable to

locate 11 million illegal aliens wondering around

in their country, including people that are trying

to blow up important structures in the U.S. My

solution is to give every illegal alien a cow as

soon as they enter the country.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's Once"

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding

anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long

been the talk of the town, "What a peaceful and

loving couple."

A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as

to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained

the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took

a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack

mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule

stumbled.

My wife quietly said, 'That's once.' We proceeded

a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once

more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't

gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third

time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her

purse and shot the mule dead.

I started an angry protest over her treatment of the

mule, when she looked at me, and quietly said,

'That's once.'

And we lived happily ever after."