I have mulled that one over myself. It depends on how you say the words I think and am sort of hoping that Jim will provide some enlightenment on that matter.
Mysterious, enigmatic maybe I mean, especially in the latter part. It wakes up the idea of "a muse" very nicely. But then there's "amuse" to account for. Ah, yes, "Laugh and I will laugh, too" -- still, a serious relationship. Nicely done.
And "eyes" -- well, it can be said with the double length. I often use "world" as two syllables. Leave it, that's my vote.
I love the seniment, Kate. Keeping the dear muse on tap for . . . whatever the muse tickles us to write, is delicious--or rather, spontaneous, which of course is a HUGE virtue at least in a first draft. My spirit resides with John regarding line 2, but technically (since somebody has to be the bad guy) there are only 3 syllables as currently written. A mere muse whisper to you away from the magical 4 that it needs. Amuse is a satisfying read that folds nicely from the anxious acceptance of the muse's twinkling suggestions, to the deed done, to be remembered from time to time.
I am no authority on poem structure or style but I can tell you what I like, and I like this. Sometimes you just have to write your feelings down the way they come without too much thought. Sometimes things can be lost or misconstrued when we try too hard to make our feelings fit a certain format. In my life feelings seldom fit into neat packages. I love the things you write, love your photos as well. Have a great day.....
this piece asks me :read me twice. so i did. i found the image itself is deeper than the words themselves. the sublime images reminds me of works of late impressionist artists. images dissolving into another image, color being mingled into another. about the rhythm it made me reread it thrice before i become entirely devoted to you as a fan.
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Comments: 31
darn... shoulda sent my earth hour one over... maybe i will do that now
And "eyes" -- well, it can be said with the double length. I often use "world" as two syllables. Leave it, that's my vote.
I love your poem.
about the rhythm it made me reread it thrice before i become entirely devoted to you as a fan.