Okay, so, last night my husband brought out a piece of paper and said "Hon, have you ever heard of Housekeeping Monthly?" I said, "No, what is is?" He went onto say it was a magazine from at least the 50's. I'm sure that may now be something like "Good Housekeeping" or something on those lines. I'm not sure. But it says Housekeeping Monthly 13 May 1955 at the top of this paper.
Anyway, he said "I thought you should read this and learn from your mom's era about how to be a GOOD Wife." Now we've been married 34 years. I doubt seriously anything is going to change anytime soon. In fact, I guarantee it's not going to change.
I thought you would all get a kick out of this guide. After I got done laughing at him and it, I threw it at him.
The Good Wife's Guide
1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a loth of work-weary people.
3. Be gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. AFter all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense perssonal satisfaction.
7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer and or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
8. Be happy to see him.
9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
11. Make the evening his. Never compain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
12. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
13. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
14. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as a minor compare to what he might have gone through that day.
15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
17. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
18. A good wife always knows her place.
So, you can imagine my delight after reading these. Now, I'm not sure these are legit or not. I don't know if Housekeeping Monthly was actually a magazine. After reading these guidelines I can understand why women didn't flock to the store to buy the next months issue.
After carefully going back over all the ways I could improve myself while listening to my husband snicker, I said, "Aw, hon, (rereading #3) was your day a little boring? Would you like me to give you a little lift sweetie?" "Here's your lift." I flipped him off. He busted a gut and we'll still be happily everafter without the 1955 guidelines.
Hope you enjoy these as much as I did. For all you male readers out there; If you print this off and show your wife, be prepared for a skillet upside your heads. :)
By the way, I know for a fact, my MOM did NOT follow these guidelines.
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Comments: 34
Now grant it since he only comes home once every few weeks, I do try to look presentable when he comes in. After all he hasn't sen me for 10-20 days.
I do clean the house up for the first day he comes in and if he comes in at a decent time I try to get him a homecooked meals since he's eaten fast food and out to eat the whole the time he is out. But after that I do what I do until he leaves and the cycle starts all over again.
Well, Ang, that's all understandable. We all do those things. He probably doesn't even noticed the house if he hasn't seen you in 10-20 days. I know my husband underlined QUITE a few of those little tidbits up there and I just laughed at him. lol
"Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him."
- I mean really, if the guy is being a dumbass you have every right to tell him so!
Sounds like you and your husband have a great relationship between EQUALS!
Thanks for the laugh. :)
I am so not a good little house wife. But he loves me dearly anyways.
Still, there are a lot of things on there that I do, so I guess that I shouldn't laugh too much!
Me, too Carmel.
Juley both of my grandmothers must have been women before their time. Altho' they both took very good care of my grandfathers they would've never gone to this extreme.
Cybergwen I was laughing so hard and then to see that my husband had underlined the ones he 'thought' I may need a little help with or the ones he loved, we both laughed. I do some of these things, too but let him stay out all night and the day he had the day before will look seem like a dream compared to the nightmare he faces when he gets home. AND visa versa. lol
NOW I understand women's lib. lol
Thanks Elaine. I loved it. Well, I thought it was hilarious. I feel bad for the women that actually lived by these guidelines.
Yes we have Patricia. I love green and have thought about painting my kitchen green but not for a calming effect. Well, maybe it is, cause I'm stressed at just going in there. lol BTW, I'm sure 60 years from now they will be laughing. By then maybe they'll be pushing the 'Jetson' button to get their dinner and won't believe we actually cooked back then. :)
Before you all try and find me I'm just kidding I think relationships whether man & woman, woman and woman or man and man should be equal.
Heather, it's okay, none of us would've been. ;)
I agree Jules. This was good for a laugh. Poor women that followed it.
My mother was and is a very frugal manager and cook. Meals were carefully calculated, and we had few leftovers. My father always had larger portions than she or we did. For example, if the meat for supper was pork chops, my dad had two, the rest of us had one.
I remember as a child telling my friends that my parents never argued. I don't think they did very much because it was a small house and I was also fond of eavesdropping whenever I could on their conversations. When my mother began working outside the home (when my younger sisters entered their teens), she still had all the cooking and cleaning under control. I do remember she seemed a lot crankier then, but she now claims she became her own person when working outside the home.
Oh, yeah, she also laid down every weekday afternoon around 4 p.m. My dad came home at 4:30, so she had a short nap. That was after the potatoes were peeled for supper. Supper was always at 5:30 p.m. (I know this for a fact because I was so often late - many spankings for that error). We did the dishes right after supper. If anyone snacked later in the evening, it was popcorn, an apple or an orange. No mess was made in the kitchen.
Before she started working, my mother got up extra early every weekday and made my father's lunch, kissed him goodbye when he left for work, then went back to bed until we needed to get up for school.
It doesn't seem like a bad life to me. When I got married (1966), I was working full time, and it was a huge shock to me how much work went into cleaning and cooking. I was used to coming home from work and amusing myself until supper, then later going out for a date or watching tv. Wow.
I must admit that when each of our daughters was born, I quit work and stayed home as long as possible with them. My happiest times with my children were when I was not working outside the home.
By the way, I could never follow those rules as far as subjegating myself to any man. It's equal shares all the way. We've been married 42 years, almost all good ones. Although it is still a work in progress, we created our own "rules" and worked it all out as we went along. Retirement is wonderful. Being together is like the payoff we worked for all our lives. ;-)
My mom was a stay at home mom until my youngest brother started first grade. She worked until the time we all got home from school. She was there when the bus dropped us off. She lucked out with my dad. She did most of the cooking but he would also come home from work and start supper. I loved it when Dad cooked. He's a great cook to this day and does most of it now.
Dad worked Saturdays so the only 'family' day we had was Sunday. We'd take long long drives. Which was a treat. We'd sing the whole way. You would've thought we were the Osmond Family or something. My Dad has apologized a million times for 'not being there' for us kids. I NEVER thought that and none of my siblings ever thought that either. He worked 6 days a week and was there for us at night and Sundays. That's just was we expected.
He was the disciplinarian altho' Mom ruled the roost. When she said "Wait until your Dad gets home" that's only because the punishment she had used didn't work.
My parents fought very little and I wouldn't call it fighting. I would call it disagreeing. They were awesome parents and still are to this day. I can only hope my girls think half as much as me as I do my parents.
Our family life was full of humor, fun, playing and lots of love. We didn't have a lot of money but had no idea we didn't. We had what we needed and that was enough for us. I don't remember having a ton of toys. I remember my first Barbie Doll and a few other toys but we had nothing like what kids have today. We had the outdoors and that's what we lived for.
I'm sure the way my mom and dad were back then are different from how we are today but believe me, they were nothing like the above. :)