Okay, so, last night my husband brought out a piece of paper and said "Hon, have you ever heard of Housekeeping Monthly?" I said, "No, what is is?" He went onto say it was a magazine from at least the 50's. I'm sure that may now be something like "Good Housekeeping" or something on those lines. I'm not sure. But it says Housekeeping Monthly 13 May 1955 at the top of this paper.
Anyway, he said "I thought you should read this and learn from your mom's era about how to be a GOOD Wife." Now we've been married 34 years. I doubt seriously anything is going to change anytime soon. In fact, I guarantee it's not going to change.
I thought you would all get a kick out of this guide. After I got done laughing at him and it, I threw it at him.
The Good Wife's Guide
1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a loth of work-weary people.
3. Be gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. AFter all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense perssonal satisfaction.
7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer and or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
8. Be happy to see him.
9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
11. Make the evening his. Never compain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
12. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
13. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
14. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as a minor compare to what he might have gone through that day.
15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
17. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
18. A good wife always knows her place.
So, you can imagine my delight after reading these. Now, I'm not sure these are legit or not. I don't know if Housekeeping Monthly was actually a magazine. After reading these guidelines I can understand why women didn't flock to the store to buy the next months issue.
After carefully going back over all the ways I could improve myself while listening to my husband snicker, I said, "Aw, hon, (rereading #3) was your day a little boring? Would you like me to give you a little lift sweetie?" "Here's your lift." I flipped him off. He busted a gut and we'll still be happily everafter without the 1955 guidelines.
Hope you enjoy these as much as I did. For all you male readers out there; If you print this off and show your wife, be prepared for a skillet upside your heads. :)
By the way, I know for a fact, my MOM did NOT follow these guidelines.