Kate - this is lovely, especially the third and fourth lines. They seem to add a sense of real life and passion into the day, even a mellow, rainy, look out the window kind of day. Nice sense of vibrancy at a low hum.
This reads very smoothly except for one part... While the window composes rain
Bow arching into sky
Now it took me a few times reading...but I think...which is sometimes scary...but I think you are saying the window reflected the rain is such a way to make a rainbow appear..kind of like when light hits a prism...
I'm very visual in my reading...and I got confused there....
Kate, Mellow Day Melody is a gently flowing poem of satisfaction that releases tension with every breath. It acts as a massage on knotted sinews. Thank you for letting it reach reader's eyes. Beautiful rictameter.
It is raining here where I live. When I think of windows composing rain, I think of how the drops look as they run down the glass, sometimes they look like they're dancing, yes? I saw a rainbow in Hawaii once, best one I ever saw. I don't know if it was actually better than anywere else, but it sure was pretty. Have a great day.
I loved line 6, "While the window composes rain!" I can see a window covered with crystal rain-drops coursing down the window in little rivers, almost like a road map. I, too, would change line 7, Kate. It will make your poem stronger. This is lovely, with a soft, relaxed feel.
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Comments: 30
While the window composes rain
Bow arching into sky
Now it took me a few times reading...but I think...which is sometimes scary...but I think you are saying the window reflected the rain is such a way to make a rainbow appear..kind of like when light hits a prism...
I'm very visual in my reading...and I got confused there....
peace
Bow arching into sky"- need not need any review because she is lonely rider of words who know her feelings are the best poetry. nice job.
Thank you!
Lovely