Let It (Loneliness) Be

I just finished the final edits on my second book?Note to Self: On Keeping a Journal and Other Dangerous Pursuits?which is due out in July. There were a few sections that my editor and I decided weren't working for the book. This is where Gather comes in very handy! Below is a short section called Let It (Loneliness) Be that was slated to be in the third chapter about broken hearts, but I gladly publish it here instead. 

Let It (Loneliness) Be

As I mentioned earlier, I tend to be an in-clement weather diarist. Sorrow and uncertainty will get me writing like no body's business. As far as keeping a life's record, this can be dangerous as it may someday appear that I was more miserable than not. However, as far as therapy is concerned, this is a great way to deal with pain. Writing has saved my sanity on multiple occasions. I've concluded in recent years that it does no good to fight off any emotion. We need them all. It's the seemingly bad, counter-emotions that enable us to appreciate the positive emotions. Without sadness, happiness is taking out the trash. Without loss, gain is turning your right blinker on.

As we get older, we can ideally start to anticipate our reactions to certain situations and create an emotional equilibrium. Our emotions are on rotate and they all need playing time. In other words, you can never rid yourself of sadness, anger, disappointment, and hurt. You can, however, know that they will be back at some point and be prepared. This will sound strange, but I've made a point of feeling?really feeling?my negative emotions. Loneliness, for example: if I feel a bought of it coming on, I don't push it away or tell myself I'm not feeling it. Rather I let it bring me down. I spend the afternoon with it. I write in my journal and listen to music that reinforces the emotion. I give myself deadlines when doing this?such as, you have until tomorrow morning to feel this way (longer depending on the situation)?so as not to run the risk of being a perpetual sourpuss. Here's the upside: I've discovered that when I dig into my mushy emotions the same way I dig my hands into the belly of a pumpkin, I am granted the good stuff for extended periods of time. When I allow sadness to run a full course through me, then my days of happiness last much longer.   

Journaling played a large role in my being able to endure each emotion, as writing about anything makes it more real. Once the emotion solidifies then you can see it, touch it, and experience it fully. Our emotions have minds of their own, but we can learn to work with them and, in doing so, have them work for us. In the middle of a distressing period, unforeseen or not, I like to remind myself that the heart is a muscle and, like all muscles, it needs a good workout.