Jokes for Today

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new

 

Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

 

Taking off down the road, he floored it to

 

80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what

 

little hair he had left.

 

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing

 

the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his

 

rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol

 

behind him, blue lights flashing and siren

 

blaring. "I can get away from him - no problem!" thought

 

the elderly gentleman as he floored it to 100

 

mph, then 110, then 120 mph.

 

 

Suddenly, he thought,"What on earth am I doing?

I'm too old for this nonsense!", pulled over to the

side of the road and waited for the Trooper to catch

up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the

driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and

said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday

. If you can give me a reason why you were driving 120

miles per hour that I've never heard before, I'll let you

go."

The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said, "

Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper.

I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day Sir", said the Trooper

 

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Unlikely Hero

Passengers aboard a luxurious

cruise ship were having a great

time when a beautiful young

woman fell overboard.

Immediately there was an 80

year old man in the water who

rescued her.

The crew pulled them both out

of the treacherous waters. The

captain was grateful, as well as

astonished, that such a

white-haired old man performed

such an act of bravery.

That night a banquet was given

in honor of the ship's elderly hero.

He was called forward to receive

an award and was asked to say a

few words.

He said, "First of all, I'd like to know

who pushed me."

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One day a salesman stopped by

a farm, knocked, and the farmer's

wife came to the door.

"Is your husband home, Ma'am?"

he asked.

"Sure is. He's over to the cow

barn." she said.

"Well, I got something to show

him, Ma'am. Will I have any

difficulty finding him?"

"Shouldn't have any difficulties.

He's the one with the beard

and mustache."

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