A Reponse to Those Who Commented on My ArticleYesterday

First of all, I want to say thanks for the input and good thoughts.  To those who thought I didn't want solutions, I apologize for sounding like I didn't/don't want input; it isn't that, it is just that I have already researched this issue to a great extent and know just what is an isn't a viable option.  Here are a couple of explanations of sorts on various points brought up.

1. Yes, we did separate the bills in the divorce decree; I made very sure, I thought, that I would be protected because I knew that he would not be responsible.  Two years ago, however, when I consulted an attorney because the same creditor cleaned my checking/savings accounts out (two weeks before I was to go on maternity leave, I might add.  Nice.), I found out that creditors are not legally bound to adhere to the terms of a divorce decree.  The creditors had told me that, but I checked with my attorney (who also called another attorney while I was in her office to make sure) as well, and sure enough, they can pretty much do whatever they want in order to get their money.  Ladies (and men, if it applies), you might want to check the laws in your state before you think that the divorce decree is all you need; if the bills are that extensive, you might want to stipulate that the two of you declare bankruptcy together prior to the divorce or something along those lines.

2. Public assistance-meaning Food Stamps-is also not an option because my income hasn't changed; the only monthly expenses taken into account for assistance are basic living expenses: rent, utilities, etc...they don't care what other bills you have, and like I said, I still make the same amount of money.

3. Deadbeat dad laws are a joke.  Of course there is legal recourse; I can hire an attorney (which I can't afford) in order to take him to court for non-compliance, at which point the judge will order him to make restitution.  I still won't get any money, and so I will take him to court again, and eventually (as in years, not a couple of months) he might spend a little bit of time in jail for non-compliance.  The first issue with this is that if I could afford to hire an attorney, I most likely would not need child support.  The second issue is that my ex is wily; he knows the loppholes.  He doesn't buy anything in his name, he moves frequently, he works under the table and therefore is below the radar when it comes to Child Support Services.  The first two years after the divorce, he worked just until the Support Order came through and he got notice that they were garnishing his wages; then he would quit.  There was a perios of almost a year that he had the same job and I got child support, but for whatever reasons he quit that job and has gone back to working under the table.  Because he has to "taxable" income, he hasn't filed taxes in the last 6 years, which obviously means that his tax return isn't attached.  Believe me, I have gone the rounds with Child Support Services about this issue.  I have recently told them about his brand-new-truck, and they responded with, "Since he has nothing titled in his name, there is nothing we can attach."

4. Legal Aid is only available for victims of Domestic Violence.  There is a network of attorneys who do bankruptcy for free, my friend April emailed me with a link, but in doing research this morning, the waiting list for services is 6-8 months.  Which isn't an option, I don't have that long.

I know there were some other things brought up, and I want to tahnk you all for caring enough to make suggestions.  And feel free to do so, because I am not under any illusions that I know everything; there may be a dozen other things that people might htink of that have never occurred to me.  I actually joined Boomertowne last week, though, to whoever suggested that; and yes, it WILL help, eventually.  I don't know about the cash option here on Gather; I only Gather here at work, so don't know how much I can possibly post and reply to people.  I will try, but...

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, though; if I can make it through the next month, I will have my tax refund back.  I can use that to hire a bankruptcy attorney, and it will also give me some extra to help make up for the garnishment; that will stand until the bankruptcy paperwork is filed, but if I budget the refund carefully, I think it will be okay.  This next little hwile will be really hard, but I have clawed my way up from nothing before, and at least if I declare bankruptcy (which, okay, I don't necessarily feel it is "right," but is also the only way I can see out of this in the long-term), I will eventually be okay.

 Thanks again, guys, so much.  And if you think of something I haven't, please feel free to let me know.  I might have already tried it, but am open!