Things Just Got Worse

I had a really bad weekend, emotionally, and this morning I woke up feeling just a little bit better; that is, until my boss called me into the office to tell me that he just got served papers to start garnishing my wages, to the tune of just over $300/month.  This is not even  my creditor; this is one of my ex-husband's, and this same creditor already totally cleaned out my checking and savings accounts of $3000 two years ago.

I am already barely making it; to lose $300 a month is, quite literally, a tragedy, and I don't know what I am going to do or how I am going to do it, I really don't.  It maybe doesn't seem like a lot of money, but an example of how big a blow that is, is that have exactly .12 left in my purse; payday is tomorrow.  And I don't blow my money, I don't eat out, I don't buy expensive things...and now I am going to have to dice which is more important, a place to live or groceries, because I can't afford both.  Before I am inundated with helpful tips, NO, I can't apply for any kind of assistance because I am still making the same amount, and I don't qualify.  No, I can't shut of the cable or the internet at home to save $$ because we already have neither.

People wonder why I have been and continue to be and, really, always WILL be, bitter toward men, and this is reason #1.  My ex husband-the one whose creditor this is-is driving a brand new pickup truck.  He is also $12,000 or so behind on his child support.  I have already been damaged enough by this man's actions, and now it just gets worse.  Men fuck their women and then they walk out without a second glance, leaving someone else to suffer.  And believe me, this will cause suffering, not just for me but for my entire family.

I have more to say, but right now I am too sad and angry and, more than anything, afraid.  I just can't do this, and it feels like too much on top of everything else.