Make believe is not only for children. Katrina has counted on this every day since her Cousin Tracy's twenty-first birthday party.
After hoping she might come down with the flu, that Evelyn would hold her over for a second shift, that the car would break down, or that the city would close 3rd Street and make it impossible for her to get to her aunt's house -anything to keep her from having to suffer through the party - it ended up being the best night in her life. Tracy was so busy showing off for friends that she forgot to make fun of her, she met Allen Bloom, and everything changed.
He had choices. Passing other dateless girls and a group of guys watching sports on television, he walked to the corner where she thought she was hiding. He looked her straight in the eye -- no shooting back and forth like most people did before she told them which one to watch--and introduced himself. She felt normal. Better than normal.
If he could pretend he didn't notice her left eye floated off to Neverland while the right wobbled, trying to stay focused on his perfect Brad Pitt nose, she figured it would be acceptable for her to make a few beliefs of her own. She smiled, closed lipped, and offered her hand, like a secretary, or lawyer, or someone important, instead of palm up like a cashier at Carson's Cafeteria.
"Katrina," replaced Mary Catherine, with no thought. It was the name she had given the bride doll she found in the basement years before, and left there, since Granny hated reminders of the good-for-nothing daughter who ran off and left her to raise a child she didn't ask for. Mary Catherine believed the good-for-nothing mother who left her with the nerdy name would have given her bride a suitably beautiful name like Katrina.
Following, "Katrina," she made the understatement of her life. "I'm pleased to meet you."
She floated, weightless, when he made believe she was a good dancer. She forgot how out of place she had felt in the skirt, sweater, and ponytail she had worn to work, and made believe the silky black hair from the Pantene commercial brushed her shoulders and she wore low cut jeans and a cropped top, separated by a tan, flat stomach.
She made believe she was everything Allen deserved.
Now, thirteen years later, Katrina Bloom makes believe every day, starting the moment she opens her eyes and imagines they both focus on Allen's beautiful face. She adores him for pretending he believes everything about her is real, and that she is the wife he ought to have.
She adores Allen for existing.
Allen kisses his wife good morning and goes to shower. Katrina's voluptuous body--not the skeleton she has become or the lumpy weeble it replaced--wakes the boys on her way to the kitchen, where she prepares the table for breakfast. She aligns four cereal boxes in the center of the table, and places a plastic bowl, glass, and spoon on each placemat - plastic because Allen spoils her. He doesn't want her to wash dishes while he's at work.
As the boys pour cereal in their bowls, the younger son comments on today's placemats. Katrina explains that the weatherman predicts rain and she thinks the polka dots on these mats look like raindrops. The older son returns his corn pops box to the center of the table and picks up the shredded mini wheats to fill her bowl. He promises to keep his younger brother out of puddles. The younger son says he will listen to his brother.
"Sit still," Allen says as he enters the room and opens the refrigerator. "I'm already up." He pours milk in each bowl and glass. Katrina watches her guys eat and loves them for not mentioning the fact that she doesn't touch her cereal until after they leave. The delay isn't necessary; she knows they would never tease her when the milk dribbles down her chin, or complain when she drops her spoon. Her guys make believe she doesn't shake or mix up words. She just wants to watch them.
Most days, Katrina makes believe she doesn't know Mary Catherine ever existed.
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Comments: 45
I love the story. Katrina was fortunate to get herself such a wonderful husband and sons! Such a good kind of make believe!
She smiled, closed lipped, and offered her hand, like a secretary, or lawyer, or someone important, instead of palm up like a cashier at Carson's Cafeteria.
Katrina explains that the weatherman predicts rain and she thinks the polka dots on these mats look like raindrops.
I think all of us live, at least partly, in our own make believe and yes, we definitely see ourselves the way we pretend we are..... or at least I still do, sometimes...sigh....
BTW, I didn't see any problem with the text, unless you were succesful when editing...
The title along with the first paragraph leave me with the feeling that perhaps Mary Catherine is still playing Make Believe. She met Allen Bloom at the party and they danced but that is as far as it went. She fell in love with him but they did not get married and the sons do not exist anywhere except in her Make Believe world.
It leaves me wondering.
Of course, there is no need to respond to that, Sandy, if it's meant to be ambivalent. It is very beautifully written, and I liked the same details Sonia mentions, and also made believe the silky black hair from the Pantene commercial brushed her shoulders. It really made me see how Katrina wanted to see herself.
For me, the story worked no matter which way I turned it. The essential truth of it remained the same; that's why I liked it so much. I didn't need to know the "truth" from out here -- this is Katrina's story.
The Katrina character has lived in my mind for many years. I'm playing with her now to see if I can develop her without making her look pathetic.
I really liked this story, Sandy!
I found myself moving back and forth with almost every line trying to decide if Katrina was insane or in a loving marriage with wonderful children. This made me see the story in a new way beause then I have to decide if I want to make believe. You left enough ambiguity in there for it to go either way, though I settled with her family being a reality rather than an illusion.
One small critique:
When Allen comes out and says "sit still" I thought he was talking to the children and then when he says, "I'm already up" I was confused because we just saw him get out of bed in the previous paragraph. I had to reread to realize he was talking to Katrina. A very small stumble but it might be better if you mentioned that she was about to get up for the milk.
A director I used to have when I did theatre once told me that when her criticisms got picky, it meant that I had mastered everything else and the only thing left to mention was the small stuff. That's what the above is.
And by that I don't mean that you'll spread peanut butter on it.
I initially interpreted "starting the moment she opens her eyes and imagines they both focus on Allen's beautiful face" to mean that she imagines both of her eyes (including the floating one) have the ability to focus on Allen's face.
Excellent story.
I found myself bouncing between the possibilities, not sure which was the reality... then I pretty much made the same decision as Janna
I am an older woman, very heavy, never popular, with a young and stunningly handsome husband who treats me like I'm precious and gorgeous. He makes me feel beautiful when I'm with him (and it even leaks out to when I'm not) and I don't remember ever feeling beautiful before. But I believe him, I believe he truly believes it. What I don't know is how much of what he sees is "make believe" is made up and how much of my own perception of reality is exaggerated. I have started to ask myself, right or wrong, if I'm more beautiful than I thought.
Now, imposing my own situation back on the story (and I also follow the interpretations that Allen saw her beautiful, too), I ask myself how much of her perception of her shortcomings are true and how many are leftovers from a clearly painful childhood. I think it's been established that one of her eyes wanders and there are potentially other nerve-related damages (which make me ask unanswered questions like were they the results of physical abuse or were they birth defects that contributed to her mother's defection and her grandmother's disdain?), but I wonder if she is really as unattractive or incapable as she presumes.
Heinlein once said (Time Enough for Love): "A woman who makes you feel good about yourself is never homely. Eventually you realize, she always was beautiful. You just hadn't noticed it at first." (From memory so it might not be exact). That's what I think of when I think of my husband, that he found me so beautiful inside somehow that it flavored his own vision of me. It is easy for me to imagine that Allen Bloom has a similar level of soul and has done the same. In which case, is it really make believe.
And I still believe in make believe - always will.
Thank you, this was beautiful and made me cry. I wish I had some criticisms, but no turn of phrase took me from the story (though I agree with the "Sit still" and "I'm already up." comment - I didn't understand but it didn't detract)/
Stephanie, thank you for gracing my comment thread with a beautiful story that should be published to stand alone. Your story is so touching.
Thanks, Janna, Donna, Dorine, and Kathleen. I appreciate all of you! And I did mean that she imagines that both of her eyes have the ability to focus on his face.
Ok, since you always want constructive criticism, here goes mine.
From my end (as an alien reading in a foreign language), I found your second paragraph too "crowded"... the new charcters introduced here, made for a moment of confusion. I had to read it twice to understand and separate the characters + their places in the story.
Now, thirteen years later, Katrina Bloom makes believe every day, starting the moment she opens her eyes and imagines they both focus on Allen's beautiful face. I needed to read this line twice, too. I thought you meant there were 2 characters in bed with Allen (must be my depraved imagination at work here) and I must have missed the mention of the other person. The second reading made it a smoother image. (Rats... and I thought it was gonna read about a threesome.)
"Sit still," Allen says as he enters the room and opens the refrigerator. "I'm already up." The problem I had with this had to do with the source. I thought the second phrase was spoken by Katrina as a response to Allen's "Sit still". Was it a continuation of Allen's command? Maybe you need to clarify that.
All in all, great possibilities here for an intriguing story! When is the next chapter coming out?
Tonia, your comment makes me sad. Earlier today, my daughter and I discussed how people often say things sound too good to be true but you seldom hear, "It sounds too bad to be true." I know (and lived in) families where the members were nice to each other far more often than they were not. But, I never disregard a comment. I appreciate that thought and will consider it later, when the memory of my earlier conversation fades.
Duckie, I appreciate the critique very much. I do want to expand this story but will probably start over and go backwards first. So, it will be a long time before I have anything ready to show.
Only one character can speak per paragraph? I don't remember my English teachers teaching that ! Or else they did and I lost it somewhere... which is more plausible :-)
The entire premise of this woman 'make believing' her life left me a little sad despite her apparent happiness.The 'Enchanted Cottage 'premise
You have done well although I would have preferred more dialogue.