dreaming of a better life

What possesses some men to think that they can control a woman, and cause harm and terror?  I grew up in a home where lived such a man.  I married a man that made his way in the marriage with violence and manipulation.  He is no longer in my life, but I live in the wake of these men's terror.  I know that I am not alone, and I pull from some memories of my friend's life with her ex husband. 

She lived in a small Midwestern town and dreamed of leaving.  It was a town with one movie theater, a bowling alley and many bars.  Everyone knew your business, and the prospects of rising above the doldrums of that life were slim if she stayed.  A man from out of town walked into the restaurant she worked and charmed her.  He lived in California, and was in town for a paintball competition.  He was smooth and attentive.  He offered a ticket out of town to a different life, a promise of something better.  She left her family and her life as she knew it and followed him to California.  He continued to be the perfect boyfriend and she promised her hand to him.

She stood before him and promised to honor him, and that inner voice told her something was wrong.  Her feeling was validated the moment she strapped her seat belt in, while leaving the ceremony.  He turned to  her with a controlled voice, and laid down the rules.  She was not to work.  She was to have the house clean and dinner ready when he came home from work.  She was to do as she was told.  She felt alone and wanted to leave, but feared that she was already pregnant.  Away from home and not knowing anyone in a strange land she felt she had no other options to stay. 

She kept his house clean or he would break something or her.  He did not allow her to have money or a way out.  He locked her in the bathroom with her baby, when he left for work.  He did not want her to go anywhere.  She got the neighbor's attention, and was able to get out.  He devised another plan and put locks on the outside doors, but with the keyhole on the inside and he had the only key.  She became a prisoner of the house.  He raped her with a gun to her head, while her three year old son sat on the bed next to her screaming.  Once again she was dreaming of escaping to a different world and a different life. 

She managed to leave like a thief in the night, but he stalked her.  He broke into her new apartment, he threatened, but he cried like a baby when he met her new boyfriend.  He was bigger and stronger and kept her safe.  She ended up marrying the new boyfriend, and although he is not perfect, he is safe.  She is one of the lucky ones.  She survived.  She escaped and finally has the life that she dreamed about.