by William Cottringer
Member since:
February 13, 2006

Winning In Life

January 09, 2008 04:58 PM EST (Updated: January 09, 2008 08:08 PM EST)
views: 93 | comments: 47

WINNING IN LIFE

by

Bill Cottringer



After decades of mixed results--of both enjoying happiness and a sense of accomplishment in succeeding, and not enjoying the bruises, bumps, bleeding and broken bones of failing--I finally figured out a simple prescription that helps me and others win in life. To win in life you have to go from not surviving to abundant thriving--from striking out to hitting home runs from the curve balls life continually throws at you during your journey.

Success at winning in life involves alignment with three main things:

 

PRIMARY PURPOSE

Every winning outcome is founded on the winner's clarity and persistence of primary purpose. When you don't have or know your main purpose in doing something, you will not have a steady direction or target to move towards. You will be wandering aimlessly in all different directions just like our non-system of criminal justice, without the needed common purpose with which to align decisions and actions. And of course if you don't have the right purpose, you may reach the top rung on your ladder only to realize you had your ladder placed against the wrong building. The purpose of life is both a destination and journey.



PROPER PERSPECTIVE

In trying to win, it doesn't do any good to have a clear purpose if you can't see the reality ahead, including the inevitable failures, obstacles and adversities between you and winning and what to do about them. The key is in seeing a positive purpose even in negative things that happen to you in life, so that you can be more hopeful and expectant of an eventual positive outcome that benefits you. Optimism and positivism just make good sense based on the good results and feelings which they give you. And of course if you don't like the results you are getting all you have to do is develop enough flexibility to change perspectives (what you see depends mostly on where you're doing the looking from; don't like what you see, just trade places and times).



"P" POINT PRINCIPLES

The simplest formula for winning says, Winning = Talent + Efforts. And the opening quote is a good example of applying a smart "P" Point Principle to win in life. Having the will to win is a Psychological Power Point Principle, or just "P" Point Principle for short. These are the little, but well-timed and well-placed actions you can take to get the biggest results with the least side effects. Common examples are clever, pulling newspaper headlines and book covers and high-impact political sound bytes and music video clips. A more practical example is taking advantage of a teachable moment by carefully listening to understand and thoughtfully answer a question posed to you at a critical time.

 

The first two main topics above are also "P" Point Principles--(1) always start with a clear purpose in mind to what you are doing, and (2) practice positivism, optimism and flexibility in removing the obstacles, getting the outcome you want and never giving into the easy temptation to quit.

 

If you want to thrive past all of life's difficult tests and get a winning grade of abundance, know your primary purpose, get the proper perspective, and fill your efforts with smart "P" Point Principles. This simple winning formula will always get the results you want.

 

 

William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA., along with being a Sport Psychologist, Business Success Coach, Photographer and Writer living in the mountains of North Bend. He is author of several business and self-development books, including, "You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too" (Executive Excellence), "The Bow-Wow Secrets" (Wisdom Tree), and "Do What Matters Most" and "P" Point Management" (Atlantic Book Publishers). This article is a brief summary of his new book "Reality Repair Rx." Bill can be reached for comments or questions at (425) 454-5011 or bcottringer@pssp.net

 

Read more winning articles at Winspirations.gather.com.

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Comments: 47

William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 5:18pm EST
Yes...my tried and true success formula for winning is: Dream huge, translate dreams to goals, work hard and be clever with your approach, persevere past the point of the wanting to quit, and share your success secretes with others when they come to you. Bill C.
Kori J. Jan 9, 2008, 5:59pm EST
Boy, it all makes perfect sense, of course, but at the same time, much harder to DO in real life than to talk about. Perseverance is a good one, but I know a lot of people who don't know what they want OR how to get it. any suggestions for them?
William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 6:16pm EST
Kori-- Finding your purpose is not easy...took my nearly 6 decades!! You can start by taking an honest inventory. What do I have the most fun doing? What is easiest for me to do that I want to be better at? What do i enjoy doing most of the time? Sometimes the answers are in the sark times or in diffiuclt situations. Part of my passion (besides writing and photography) is running this security company...it is difficult because the huge gap between me and our 300 employees is so huge in what we know and can do in the way of delivering quality security service. But I know how important it is to give your best effort to the job you are in, doing some good for other people.

You can also start by getting in touch with what your purpose is right now in what you are doing now. Bill C
Kori J. Jan 9, 2008, 6:39pm EST
Does it count that my purpose is basically to provide a full, rich life for my four children whom I am raising solely by myself? With no help from fathers? I am being partially facetious but at the same time, it is my reality; so at this point, perseverance in my life means getting out of bed every moring. Over the past four years, though, I have found a job I both love and excell at; I have published one article in a magazine. I have been able to create and enjoy a great support network. Those are all things I both need and want in my life, but as far as long term stuff, son't know much at this point! :)
William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 6:55pm EST
Kori-- Of course it matters and counts. No one can tell you what your purpose is or it wouldn't be your purpose...or judge one purpose as being loftier than another. And it is probably more useful to know the purpose you have in doing something right now under your nose, than far off into the infinite galaxy. Take care of the minutes and the hours will take care of themselves, as someone once said. Bill C.
Kori J. Jan 9, 2008, 7:00pm EST
And that is pretty much true. I am in recovery and of course it is a 24 hour thing; but there is merit to, so far as possible, taking LIFE 24 hours at a time. Makes it a lot less daunting than thinking of life as a whole, plus it makes me be a better person, employee, mother, etc...
Thank you Bill for a very uplifting, informative article. The soul searches within me is my walk with the Lord, he gives me the path and purpose.....
however in saying that, I am searching my mind for wisdom. depression doesn't help. i will myself everyday to get out of bed, so on and so forth.I think we all come to a place in our lives where we look for more answers to loads of guestions, the power of prayer is powerfu.
Thank you for this article full of information, I will ponder while taking all this in.....
10*
William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 7:06pm EST
Kori-- Breaking down any complex and complicated thing into more manageable parts is always smart problem-solving. That is usually wny people can't beat the dark looming cloud of depression or anxiety...they fail to chip away at it part by part until it looses its hold and power over you. You can't wish such a cloud away instantly; you have to dismantle it part by part. Bill C.
I so agree with that. depression does take hold, not just the will, makes it go away.
It does take time, a little at a time, otherwise you become over welmed, want things to happen now, suely it does not work that way.
William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 7:13pm EST
Dee Dee...The ideas and things I write about lately come to me from the creator and I just translate them into my personal experience. If my advice/ideas aren't aligned in my sould and my soul isn't aligned with God, I am just wandering and wondering aimlessly. The main object in life is to shift our attention from listening to our pyschological consciences to hearing our moral ones. Bill
Sometimes life sets your purpose. I am caring for two grandsons, who have only me and their mother, who works full time, so being very ill with a rare blood disease and so on and so forth, or perhaps it is God will that I am able to care for them? Having cancer has made me thankful for each and every moment that I am able to be with them, but there is those days I wish God would just take me home.
yes, you are so right, I knew you believe in a higher power by your words, you are so right. You have a article i want to read next, about how to talk to God.
How do you shift our attention?
William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 7:20pm EST
Like Mother Terssa said, "I just wish God didn't trust me so much!!" One can't get out of a divine purpose, no matter what the justification is, unfortunatley. Hang in there and tak advantage of all your friends' compassion and the opportunity to be close to grandkids. They are wonderful human beings. Bill
This sound wonderful,
William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 7:22pm EST
Pay attention to what your mind and heart want you to attend to right now until it is finished or it will linger past its contribution...then you are free to pay attention to the next thing. You can learn to program your mind to think about and foucs on what does you best...such as any form of relaxed meditation. Bill C.
John L B. Jan 9, 2008, 7:28pm EST
This is a wonderful article. Upon reflection, I can see that I have largely applied these steps to achieve past accomplishments. Yet I realize that actualizing these steps was impossible without firstly achieving the ability to focus, as well as to "resolve" certain emotional issues. I have read a lot of "self-help" literature, much of it very useful, but none that I can recall that indicate the need to address cognitive and emotional challenges as a prerequisite to applying otherwise sound winning principles. In todays world, unfocused thinking, and unstable emotions seem to be the norm. Therefore, if true, the need to firstly address these issues seem clear, and are sorely lacking in most winning strategies.
William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 7:31pm EST
John-- Thinking, feeling and behavior are so intertwined it is diffiuclt to untangle them for accurate cause and effect understanding and correction...but in the meantime we really only have two sets of emotions/feelings--postive and negative; the positive ones are for letting us know we are moving in the right direction and the negative ones are trying to softly warn us to slow down and rethink our approach to something. If you don't like what is happening with the negative feelings all you can do is slow down a tad and try to see the thoughts that are associated with the results you are getting...and it usually has a lot to do with where in time and space you are doing the looking from! Change viepoints and your view will change. Bill C.
very, very true.
I love them dearly, love seeing things though there eyes. They are so much a gift from God,
yes, lining up all parts of ones being, fully aliened, to a stably center being. How do we apply these strategies? I know being honest, looking are selves in the mirror, self portrayal, than what? How do I use these skills in my daily walk? Do you have a workbook that will help me with this information?
wow, that was interesting, never thought negative energy that way, this makes a lot of sense
I use to be a very optimistic person, in fact to the point my oldest brother told my husband that my morals where so high I was becoming a bore. I guess I have been so sick for so long, i have cave into the illness.
I have become my own sickness
I was in pain mangement, first thing they talk about is bio-feed back, medatation, finding your center, yoga.
Thank you for the site address as well the phone number. I will also write down these books, thank you ever so much for this refreshing look at life, our purpose.
William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 7:54pm EST
I have a pretty decent book coming out shortly--"Do What Matters Most--Unload the Overload." The trouble we all have today is information overload. There is too much to do and too little time to do it. Time to let the real priorities--work, family and friends, eating, sleeping, hobbies, service and conversation--rise to the surface in our lives. Focus on what is most important to you now to be happy, healthy, wise, safe and peaceful and let go of the impossible need to control the rest.
Thank you William, for breaking this down into simple section, i can so do relate. I have found a very fascinating , informative soul. God bless you and yours. i only wish i could have gave you ten star's for every question.
You so very much got it, i would love to buy your book that is coming out, When?
William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 8:05pm EST
Atlantic Publishers in a few months on Do What Matters Most. Then Amazon sells two others-- You Can have Your Cheese & Eat It Too (cats wisdom) and The Bow Wow Secrets(dogs wisdom).
William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 8:06pm EST
Gotta scoot to physical fitness and then back later this evening, in between proof reading 800 pages and trying to eat and finish my e-mails here so I can leave at a decent hour!! Nich "chatting" and I am open to giving enough details to make something immediately usable, or I am not worth my salt. Bill C.
Thank you, stay warm, rest well.
God Bless you and yours.
Jan S. Jan 9, 2008, 11:13pm EST
Mama taught me that if you can't get what you want, try to want what you've got. I try for what I want, but also feel blessed with what I have.
William Cottringer Jan 9, 2008, 11:50pm EST
Jan-- Ah we must have had similar mothers because I got that same good aphorism from my Mom. I can't imagine God being too big on giving gifts to people who don't appreciate them; divine generosity probably has its limits. Sure, I would love to be a rich best-selling author like Jack Canfield, but knowing I have helped a few people with my 6 books and refular on-line conversations at my article posting sites like here, is reward enough. Bill C.
Beverly T. Jan 10, 2008, 12:22am EST
Your conversation above was rewarding to me!
Cool Collection of Tidbits, Cathartic Cat Capers, and Kibbles
Cindy F. Jan 10, 2008, 9:36am EST
Bill..great article!
Sujata (funnily 'Suji' ) S. Jan 10, 2008, 9:49am EST
Will is thy ....... articularly seasoned Great !!
Jessica I. Jan 10, 2008, 10:35am EST
Very good article.
William Cottringer Jan 10, 2008, 10:37am EST
Thank you all. I guess the bottom line to success and winning in life is doing the right thing in the right way for the right reasons and having patience in getting the results you think you want, which doesn't always turn out that way (always be careful about what you want because you will eventually get it.

Getting a clear handle on what you actually want from life is a real struggle--because you can usually only find that answer from trial and error in trying to get your own private free will to choose in sync with the divine will that simply is. I think "karma" is just the consequences of choices that run contrary to the natural way of life (God's divine will/plan). When we view the consequences of our choices as punishment, the rebellion and pride continue the divide. Bill C.
Diana Raabe Jan 10, 2008, 11:27am EST
Good ideas, Bill!
William Cottringer Jan 10, 2008, 11:36am EST
Another thought I have is that a lot of unnecessary emotional and mental unhappiness, frustration and discomfort comes from pre-judging the outcomes of what we are doing a "good" or "bad." Sure that is easy to do, but does it really make sense? It is like being stupid enough to jump of a cliff and dying from the fall and thinking, "well that is pretty harsh and unfair punishment for a silly deed" as opposed to the non-interpretation of it is a pretty normal outcome to die from a 1,000 foot fall.

It seems as though day by day life can go array but inch by inch it is a cinch.

Bill C.
Rebecca B. Jan 10, 2008, 2:32pm EST
Bill this is a great article. I look fwd to your book - it sounds likea good one! In one of your comments you talked about needing patience as well to win...that's my biggest struggle, its so true!
William Cottringer Jan 10, 2008, 5:08pm EST
Rebecca-- The only way I have been successful in dealing with my own impatience and ADHD immediate need gratification has been to fill my waiting time with productive activities of another sort, e.g. when I am waiting for a book to come back from editing, I get busy taking photos that summarize an article I am writing, or experiementing with cooking a new gourmet meal for some friends, or something. I think the only way to deal with impatience is to divert your attention away from what you are waiting on. I could never stand waiting on clothes in the dryer!! Bill C.
Cheryl R. Jan 10, 2008, 10:13pm EST
This article and the comments were very enjoyable. Thank you, William.
William Cottringer Jan 11, 2008, 11:48am EST
Here is what I am thinking--a big problem today is the image of thriving success and winning that is perpetuated by the mass media and success gurus, which can be a little to daunting to us normal folks who are just now mastering the art of surviving. The gap between what a few people know and can do to be successful (just one team winnning the Super Bowl and the many others losing) and what the majority of folks know and can do is growing exponentially and gap fillers/shrinkers are needed badly!! All such "P" Points and their personal stories are welcomed for my new Book "P" Point Your Way to Winning at Home and Work" Unload the overload and get more by doing less. Bill C.
Barbara Shelde Jan 11, 2008, 5:20pm EST
Awesome. Thanks!
Michael Easton Jan 11, 2008, 5:24pm EST
I had my kids read this article.
William Cottringer Jan 11, 2008, 6:03pm EST
Thank you Barbara and Michael. I think I have finally widdled down the most important "what" principles, that when followed, guarantee winning and success. Now the task becomes to address the "how-to" of actually implementing the vaious "P" Points--How to practice needed patience (because nothing rarely comes easily and quickly), how to get to the right perspective (positivism, optimism, & balance all lead to better results), how to find principles (reading and experience in nature/life, asking experts, etc), how to develop perseverance (my father made me do work in my own back yard before I could earn money to buy my school clothes), how to find your purpose (look at where your feet are pointed, ask others, soul search), how to problem-solve (be flexible and systematic, change languages, etc. The problem then becomes how to do the things required of each of these "P" Points. Now that is a book on life's instructions that needs to be handed out from the get-go....but guess what? Just finding out all this is what makes the journey in life enjoyable and worthwhile.

I have a deep suspicion that we were all born with this wisdom and knowledge, but forgot it when we learned to speak and write. Why? So we could have fun remembering it again and enjoying the satisfaction that discovery brings! Isn't life amazing?

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