In their book, Soar with your Strengths, co-authors Donald O. Clifton and Paula Nelson write that "strengths develop best in response to another human being." One could argue that this necessitates the fostering of personal relationships on the job.
But how personal is too personal? The highly-variable answer depends on how one defines "crossing the line." A minister once told me that having a one-on-one business lunch with someone of the opposite sex was always inappropriate if you are married. Is that crossing the line? Many would argue that it would be impossible to avoid this. On the other hand, many couples undoubtedly find that this level of specificity in defining "crossing the line" works for them.
One reason "the line" becomes blurred is that successful business relationships contain many similar, if not identical, elements to successful personal ones. Both require respect and trust. According to LeadingInsight.com, "respect leads to accepting a person for what s/he is and acceptance creates an environment of trust." In the workplace, trust enables opportunities for new collaborations, strategies, ideas, products and, ultimately, profit. At home, trust not only maintains the status quo, but enables the opportunity for a continuously deepening experience.
Another shared aspect of successful business and personal relationships is good communication. Your employees need you to tell them what is expected of them. Similarly, your spouse (usually!) doesn't know what you are thinking unless you tell them.
Finally, we all need appreciation. Whether you show appreciation for your employees with a verbal "thank you" or, better yet, a salary increase, the power of expressing gratitude at work is undeniable. According to Joanna L. Krotz, co-author of "The Microsoft Small Business Kit" and owner of Muse2Muse Productions, it improves staff loyalty and increases productivity. At home, even the simplest thank you for an every-day task can help build intimacy if offered sincerely.
Adapting some basic relationship skills can mean a better bottom line for the company and, perhaps, even advance your career. Just don't cross that line!
Related Reading:
Thank You Power by Deborah Norville
How to Ruin Your Love Life by Ben Stein
Read more winning articles at winspirations.gather.com.
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Comments: 28
Diana, this was an excellent book review of the key points of SOAR WITH YOUR STRENGTHS, as well as a way of opening up the topic to further discussion through seeing really what temptation is in the human psyche, for those out there who indeed have troubled relationships.
It said in prison you have a 10 x 10 cell and at work you have a 6 x 6 cubicle. By the way, how many people do you estimate received a cost of living increase this year of 2.3% or more?
I can't wait for your photographs. I love Europe.
Interestingly, I find that business relationships (for me) are rather formal and unsatisfying. I wouldn't have it any other way, but I think that others want more. How does one handle the situation where others pressure for a closeness that just doesn't feel comfortable.
As Miranda said, it's hard to imagine not having friendships, but I'm guessing that when you are young - and single - those friendships are more important, fulfilling and necessary than when you have a life outside of the office.
In my 20's, I hung out with co-workers frequently. After I had a "life" outside of my work - relationship, children, spouse - the work friendships were work-related and the outside relationships were much more significant. How do you put a co-worker ahead of a child? I confess - I couldn't do it.